10
   

Why has she ceased speaking to me?

 
 
tsarstepan
 
  3  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:04 pm
@JimmyJ,
JimmyJ wrote:

When I don't get closure on things I seem to think about them more often. Since this happened abruptly and with no explanation I feel as though it never came to an "end". Hopefully that makes sense.

Closure is quite overrated. Insistence in having it is a tad too obsessive compulsive. You just might make things worse and actually burn the proverbial bridge even if in fact the friendship hasn't actually ended.

JimmyJ wrote:

1. I don't have her phone number any more and she's a year behind me in our degree so she's not in any of my courses.

Umm then how do you expect to get closure anyways if you can't contact her?
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  2  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:08 pm
@JimmyJ,
Come on you share the same campus and you can not find her phone number or some other means of contacting her???????

In my day before even home computers let alone the internet we have a campus wide phone directory.

glitterbag
 
  2  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:10 pm
@JimmyJ,
Okay Jimmy, you're done. Don't ask for opinions if you aren't prepared to consider them. My advice would be to go back to your original request for help, then look at it as if it came from a stranger. You are very young, sometimes young people have to learn the hard way. When you enter the real world of employed adults, drop the attitude or be prepared to tred water until you do.
tsarstepan
 
  3  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:10 pm
@JimmyJ,
JimmyJ wrote:

The thing is, everything was fine.

Apparently not everything was fine. Apparently she must have thought otherwise.

Quote:
We had a completely platonic relationship for the most part (other than cuddling and kissing a few times).

These are two conflicting things. Platonic relationships tend not to contain cuddling and kissing. Maybe she thought the relationship evolved into something else.

Quote:
I said literally nothing. We studied together (like we have before), I put my headphones in and she put hers in and then she randomly left.

Have you perchance autism? Aspergers syndrome? Taking this at face value, maybe you came off a bit too aloof and socially cold in the end and she just couldn't take it anymore. Or flip it around. Maybe she's on the Aspergers Syndrome scale and doesn't know what is socially acceptable in terms of ending a given relationship in a proper fashion.

JimmyJ
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:14 pm
@BillRM,
I don't live on campus and neither does she.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  3  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:14 pm
@JimmyJ,
We texted each other all the time

You do not need a phone number to texted someone? and even if you text her somehow without a phone number then text her once more and ask either for her phone number of a meeting!!!!!!

This is bullshit on so many many levels.
JimmyJ
 
  -3  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:15 pm
@glitterbag,
If your opinion doesn't answer my question (and I give a viable reason for why it doesn't answer the question), why exactly should I be satisfied? Again, I don't need condescension. I'm not here to measure penis length with any of you or to stroke my ego. I just wanted a few possibilities for why this may have happened other than "go talk to her", "grow some balls", "stop having an attitude". Why I can't get that is beyond me.
0 Replies
 
JimmyJ
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:18 pm
@tsarstepan,
Thank you for to nice answer.

The cuddling and kissing only happened on two times that we hung out (in the grand scheme it was like 2 out of 20 times).

I don't have autism. I was diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder by one doctor, but several others have said this was not the case. We told each other about all our problems like this and she never mentioned any Aspergers or Autism. But yeah, it might be that simple. It just seems to be so sad that something I thought was really going to go somewhere good could end so abruptly.
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  3  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:19 pm
@JimmyJ,
Quote:
If you don't have anything constructive or insightful to add you should just not respond at all.
Why not? In my opinion, and that is what we all have here, what I had to say was quite constructive and insightful.

It is almost funny to think that you no longer have her phone number after texting her all the time as you say you were doing. One would think that if there is a number you are texting constantly, then you would save the number in your phone. Of course, maybe a gremlin got into you phone and erased her number. (I hate it when that happens.) But I will give you the benefit of the doubt and believe that you simply lost this girls number.

So here is my new advice based on the info that you have no way of contacting her. LET IT GO. Without any way of contacting her, you have no way of finding out why she simply walked away. So why dwell on it? Why ask a bunch of strangers what you did? We don't know. Forget about her. Go out there and find someone else. Just make sure you don't lose the phone number of the next girl. Make sure you put it in your phone to make texting her a bit easier and then don't delete it. That way, when the next one stands up and walks away from you without word or explanation, you can call her and ask her why rather than coming back here and asking us.

There now, how is that for being constructive?
JimmyJ
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:20 pm
@BillRM,
You should try to read all of my posts in the future.

I said I got a new phone in the last few days (when you get a new phone you lose your numbers unless you synch your data to a flash drive or something, which I didn't).

Instead of trying to "zing" me (and failing at it, as I clearly explained in my other post why I no longer had her number), you could try to offer up some advice. Nobody is holding a gun to your head and forcing you to read this or respond. If it's "bullshit on so many many levels", don't post.
JimmyJ
 
  -1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:22 pm
@CoastalRat,
That was much better. The only problem is you made that post (again) without having all the details that I've posted to the forum.

As I said before, I got a NEW phone. When you get a new phone your data gets erased (thus explaining why I didn't have her number).
BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:25 pm
@CoastalRat,
Quote:
Of course, maybe a gremlin got into you phone and erased her number. (I hate it when that happens.) But I will give you the benefit of the doubt and believe that you simply lost this girls number.


For me he had run out of any benefit of the doubt in this day of twitter, facebook and all kind of search engines you can not loss a girl that you share a campus with 30,000 or not students!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had track down the phone numbers and other contact information of friends I had not seen since 1970 or so without a great deal of trouble.
JimmyJ
 
  0  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:26 pm
@BillRM,
Neither of us have social networking of any kind (not even Facebook).
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:27 pm
@JimmyJ,
Quote:
I said I got a new phone in the last few days (when you get a new phone you lose your numbers unless you synch your data to a flash drive or something, which I didn't).


You are full of it...........................
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  4  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:32 pm
@JimmyJ,
Ummm....have you read the phrase 'let it go' in this thread yet?
0 Replies
 
CoastalRat
 
  3  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:34 pm
@JimmyJ,
And yet you didn't say that you got a new phone until after we brought up the phone thing. You said only that you lost her number. Were we supposed to understand that somehow? And when I get a new phone, I have my contacts transferred before discarding the old phone. Even if you get the phone via mail, you can go have them transferred (for a small fee probably, but well worth it.)

But, be that as it may, there really is little you can do. Move on and forget about her. And quit adding details as though we should have known that all along.
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:37 pm
@JimmyJ,
Quote:
Neither of us have social networking of any kind (not even Facebook).


You are full of it as I am 65 and I have facebook and twitter accounts and I keep backups of my phone numbers in other places then my phone and if I was moving from one phone to another I would check to make damn sure that all the phone memory is in other forms.

In fact professors at most colleges have face books pages so a student not having a face book account is beyond the pale.

You are full of bullshit and are wasting all our time.

glitterbag
 
  1  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 01:37 pm
@tsarstepan,
That's a good answer tsarstepan, I wish I was patient enough to offer that suggestion.
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  3  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 03:18 pm
Quote:
Why has she ceased speaking to me?


It is self-evident...now.
BillRM
 
  2  
Reply Thu 12 Dec, 2013 03:37 pm
@Ragman,
Quote:
It is self-evident...now.


LOL you read my mind.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

I went on a first date. Now what? - Question by LiveLoughLaugh24
Can we love someone we dont… like? - Question by silver227
I'm waiting. But. - Question by anonymously99
Writing - Question by anonymously99
writing - Question by anonymously99
Patience - What does it mean to you? - Discussion by chai2
 
Copyright © 2022 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 07/05/2022 at 01:04:38