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Patience - What does it mean to you?

 
 
chai2
 
Reply Sat 23 Feb, 2013 05:41 pm
In the last few days, I've had people thank me, or the group I was in, for my (or our) patience, and I've had to stop and wonder "For what?"

Where do you draw the line between "I'm being patient" or "I'm working on/trying to be patient" and just realizing this is the process and it takes what it takes, or sometimes more significantly "I'm a grownup, not a 4 year old child."?

Today, a specific example came up, and because of the setting, I found it particularly weird that thanking the people present for our "patience" was even brought up.

So I went to a yoga class this morning, on that starts at 10:30, so most people start to go into the room about 10:20 to 10:25, since usually another class ends 15 minutes before the next one, in this case 10:15.

Anyway, today this class was being held in the smaller of 2 rooms, as the larger one was being used for teacher training. Usually it's held in the larger room. There were maybe 5 people in there when I strolled in, and maybe another 15 came in after me. The teacher showed up, and as she walked to her platform, asked if we could move a few inches closer to each other side to side (to fit 5 people across rather than 4) and that the front row move up so we could maybe get another row in.
I've been in smaller rooms with more people, believe me, it would have left way adequate space for all. I shoved over, as did the guy on my left, getting a little closer to the wall. I noticied the woman to my right just stayed planted, and various people around the room did too, looking around almost bewildered, like they couldn't understand the concept of "let's all pull together in this, no big deal" While this was going on, the teacher had walked out and quickly traded rooms with the teacher training room. She came back in and asked everyone to put back their props and move to the big room.

I thought it was kinda funny actually, because we all had to walk about 20 feet, and use the side door of the big room, while the people in there used the main door to flow to the smaller room. I said to the person in front of me "we're moving like cogs in a wheel." which made him chuckle. ANYway, we all get settled, and I know the time taken couldn't have been more than 2 and a half, maybe 3 minutes tops from beginning to end. I really wasn't paying attention, but apparently there were some looks/grumbling and the teacher actually said "I know how you feel. Last week I got an email from a student that talked about all these problems he was having, and at the end he thanked me for my patience. I thought, 'Why would he assume I was being patient?' So, I hope you all were able to have patience with this."

Being me, I popped up with "Why would you assume we weren't being patient?" She sat for a second and said "Spoken like a true yogi"

I had to inwardly roll my eyes, because are you kidding? Walking from one room to the next. Taking an extra 3 minutes out of your life to attend of all things a yoga class involves patience? I want enlightenment, and I want it NOW!

Sure, you could say she was being polite, but does being polite have to involve apologies that assume people are at their worst?

In everyday situations, patience for me involve waiting a few weeks for a medication to take effect, and dealing with the situation until it does. It working really consciously at not letting someone really different from you get on your nerves. It's letting go of the idea that we can control a situation, and living contently with "it is what it is", or at least until the time is right for the change.

A sequoia didn't grow up in a week.
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Bennet
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Feb, 2013 06:07 pm
@chai2,
Patience is the art of hoping in despair. It seems paradoxical in nature for some of people: as their time of living gets shorter, their capacity to wait and/or tolerate seems to become greater. I think for me, that is a worthy goal to reach.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Feb, 2013 06:44 pm
@Bennet,
Hoping in despair?

Did you make that up, or read it on the side of a cereal box?

What's to despair about?

You live life, enjoying it for what it is. I don't see any hope, or despair involved in that.

In truth, the less I hope, the more I enjoy my life.
Hoping is like wishing on birthday candles, or praying to God to fix something.

Patience (for me) is more like realizing things will change.....in it's own good time. In the meantime, you put on your big girl panties, employ workarounds, sometimes God forbid, actually enjoy what the reality is.

For instance, in the example used, I could have groaned and said "I can't believe it, I actually have to stand up, walk WAY over into that other room, and sit or lay back down. Doesn't everyone realize I have to get in as much muscle stretching as possible, every single second, then I have to go and be a pain in every other thing I'm going to do today?"

That sound pretty childish. Especially considering if everything went exactly as you planned, you could very well find yourself on schedule, but walking right underneath a grand piano that's falling from a 50 story window.
Some of the best things that's happened in my life occured because I had to wait...some of the worst when I forced things to my will.

What you say sounds more like a martyr.

Also, tolerance doesn't automatically mean the object of your tolerance is in any way negative.

I suppose I don't see the attribute of patience as applying to the small potatoes of life.
Bennet
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Feb, 2013 07:14 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
Hoping in despair?
Did you make that up, or read it on the side of a cereal box?
What's to despair about?


I was just trying to generalize your whole OP in a sentence. There is annoyance with a pinch of or sometime a lot of (depending on the situation) misery involved with patience. And by "in despair," it was relating to the possible choice in the backdrop of any situation. A choice involving the path of least resistance and not having to try any more, that anyone can easily choose to follow if they wish so.

chai2 wrote:
Patience (for me) is more like realizing things will change.....in it's own good time. In the meantime, you put on your big girl panties, employ workarounds, sometimes God forbid, actually enjoy what the reality is.

To me, Patience is more like hoping things will change. No one guarantee a hundred and ten percent that your realizations will be turned into reality. In the meantime, all you can do is wait. If it's a short term matter, in terms of endurance, then it seems I'm internally annoyed, not enjoying reality as you put it. Examples such as, waiting in long lines and waiting in traffic longer than the average or usual time. If it's a long term thing, then I can see my self preoccupying myself with other matters of interest to push back in to mind, the annoyance/ misery of waiting/ enduring/

chai2 wrote:
What you say sounds more like a martyr.

Also, tolerance doesn't automatically mean the object of your tolerance is in any way negative.

I suppose I don't see the attribute of patience as applying to the small potatoes of life.

Well if you are willing to tolerate something, by definition, it necessarily means that you're willing to put up with something that is, in your opinion, undesirable.
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chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Feb, 2013 07:37 pm
Tolerance isn't putting up with something, it's accepting it. Big difference.

Patience isn't hoping the change that will eventually occur will be in your favor. It's understanding change will occur, for good, bad or indifferent.



Bennet
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Feb, 2013 07:55 pm
@chai2,
Not really a big difference.
endure ~ put up with.
In patience the only certainty is the attitude. Any change to be wanted is a matter of anticipation, which is native of hope. There isn't a guarantee, as I said before, for a set of circumstances wanting to occur, to occur.


chai2 wrote:
Some of the best things that's happened in my life occured because I had to wait...some of the worst when I forced things to my will.

Waiting isn't necessarily patience. One can, as well, impatiently wait.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Feb, 2013 08:14 pm
@Bennet,
Why do you attribute to me so many words that I never said, and indicate things I did not say are my opinion?

Please feel free to continue with expressing your own opinion, but not mine. I do well enough with that thanks.
Bennet
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Feb, 2013 08:23 pm
@chai2,
Sorry if I caused you any offense. Under the given context I was only trying to clarify a few points in hoping to foster a discussion.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Feb, 2013 09:20 pm
@Bennet,
I don't believe you're trying to foster anything like a discussion, trying to clarify anything, or that you're sorry. I'm not going to do as you expect, and say no need to apologize, apology accepted, or no offense taken. I don't feel anything toward you.

It might help if you don't put words into someone's mouth, and instead deal with what was actually said.

So far, you've been having a separate conversation with yourself, that doesn't involve me.

I really don't have anything else to day to you at this time.

Good luck.

Bennet
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Feb, 2013 10:14 pm
@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
I don't believe you're trying to foster anything like a discussion, trying to clarify anything, or that you're sorry. I'm not going to do as you expect, and say no need to apologize, apology accepted, or no offense taken. I don't feel anything toward you.

Ok, you opinion is appreciated.

chai2 wrote:
It might help if you don't put words into someone's mouth, and instead deal with what was actually said.


In my defense, it was a valid point to bring up, because in that paragraph, without first giving a contextual explanation relative to the original essence of the OP, you went on some random little tangent regarding adaptability and waiting, as well as a general thought about events not always going according to your plan.


chai2 wrote:
So far, you've been having a separate conversation with yourself, that doesn't involve me.


Are you trying to ge the high ground here? Wink Anyway, that wasn't my intention, too bad if you feel that way.

chai2 wrote:
Good luck.


Luck? I don't need no stinking luck. Just some patience. Smile
0 Replies
 
Bennet
 
  1  
Reply Sat 23 Feb, 2013 10:48 pm
With respect to Rockhead's thoughts-

0 Replies
 
anonymously99
 
  1  
Reply Thu 26 Dec, 2013 06:10 pm
@chai2,
chai2. Good chance you could be reading too much into something that doesn't require it. Accept it. Anything. If not it, any situation you're in can turn into something stressful. Something you don't need; affecting you, your life, your health, the people around you, else more.

To me patience is love, respectful, understanding/understandable, time consuming, yes, but usually that's what it takes. Kind, an act of kindness, anything similar to as mentioned.
0 Replies
 
 

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