Writing

She.
Would lightly bite his ear,
Run her tongue along the outer side..
Not completely
Run her hand across his chest
Kiss his chest softly
Lightly biting his nipple
Running her tongue across..
She has her hand firmly against his skin
Grasping him tightly
Pulling him into her..

To feel your touch
To be against your skin
I'm pulling you into me
You still have your clothes on
We're on the bed
To feel you between my legs
They're wrapped around you, your legs
My white lace underwear nothing else on
Taking control of the situation putting you underneath me
Have yet to kiss you, your lips
It's as if I'm teasing myself keeping myself from kissing you
I'm taking your shirt off
Undoing your pants
Slide them off
Kissing your abdomen,
pressing my lips against your skin softly
Grasping your chest
Running my tongue along your skin slightly
Have you pushed against the bed
I'm in control baby don't fight me
Running my tongue over your nipple, gently suck
Biting lightly
I'm holding you
Your in my arms
I have you pulled into me
I'm in control baby don't fight me
Just go along
I want you weak in my arms
Giving into me completely
Working my way down caressing your body
Kissing your skin
Impossible to not touch you, to pull myself away from you
Pulling your underwear down
Let me make you feel good.

I know how deep
You go
But,
Do you know
How deep I go?

He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.
- Elbert Hubbard

No one will know who I am until I know who I am.

Right now everything's in the air because I believe there are people in my head.

And so he's ((the father figure i had)) telling my husband to hit me and ****. Telling him that he and I can't be friends, that he needs to kick me out to the curb least lock me up in the back room if anything.  Telling him to not spend a dime on me because I'm not worth it. Telling him he needs to do away with me.Hell. That father figure I had has already got people wanting to kill me, shoot me dead so he doesn't have to do it himself. 50% chance he would himself because of his hatred toward me. No one not even my two year stalkers take **** into consideration. The fact that when I was under 15 years of age he told me he would make sure, he promised my life would be hell, that that's exactly what he was doing when living under his roof and aunt's roof.. and since he had found the advantage of adding more hell to my life and took a dive. Say by chance I get a damn divorce, he that father figure will manipulate my future he to thinking the father figure is right about every ******* thing, that future he should beat me when necessary etc. Hell he might instead tell him to have nothing to do with me convince him I'm not worth it in step father figure's own way and to go ahead and shoot me dead. But it's all in my head says the two year stalkers. Alright well. Keep believing that. Wait until you get out and things I've been mentioning are true,ly not just in my head.. that they're 100% real. You just couldn't see for your stupid ass ignorance. Right. And for you're shallow minded; light minded; simple minded ways of thinking. Watch me and my now husband come up dead. Then... Tell me it was all in my head. I'm a deep individual. Completely opened myself up in hopes they would get out. Never did, still there till this day. Ever since I started someone's wanted me dead. But that doesn't matter does it.
My life has been hell since the day I was born.

Also hopes I'll give into suicide.

Father figure--monster man with desire for control;; I--female fending for my life.

I'm sorry I'm not the drug head the ex cocaine addict step father figure I had wants me to be. Its not my fault I was molested throughout my childhood resulting in my head being fucked up as it was, is. I'm not going to be who they want me to be to cover up some ******* secret that has deeply affected my life. My head should had never been fucked with two years back during an extremely stressful time I was encountering. If it wouldn't had been then I wouldn't had displayed my life for all to see.
I wouldn't believe there are people in my head right now.

Trust me. It is not my intent to make anyone jealous. No. Haha, I sarcastically laugh. I plan to get to 200 pounds. As I think to myself I'm ******* crazy.

About a couple years back, had it in my head if I seriously failed a test I was going to commit suicide. Pictured driving off a cliff etc. But people ******* with my head got ridiculous as if they heard my thoughts, were wanting me to seriously fail/with the intentions of me seriously failing a test. I felt it stupid all together and just quit. Time has definitely taken place.

I'm tired of being here around grown ass men who are jealous as hell I ASSUME ******* JEALOUS WHAT THE HELL ELSE COULD IT BE for no stupid ass reason feeling it necessary to **** my life up completely... oh but they have... I'll never know what my life could had been.
These men act like immature ass people with no ******* sense.
I don't know how you feel what you think. There's no telling.
On top of this ******* **** I have to deal with my ******* dad trying to convince the ******* world of a bunch of ******* lies INCLUDING he doing his best to convince everyone I'm a ******* drughead.
I've seriously had enough. But. That doesn't matter. Because. It will never be enough for them. I'm slowly understanding.

If I would had been born a male my life would be ******* different.

It took, I believing people were/are in my head to be psychotic. who I am today.

You have been doubting me?, - then you and I have always had problems. It, our friendship never would had worked.

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

Marilyn Monroe

I'm not stopping until you understand why my mental health is not as it should be.

They are trying to convince the world the reason my mental health is not as it should be is due to drug abuse. I've never abused drugs a day in my life. They want everyone to believe the secret I've been forced to keep all those years never happened. They trying to tell you convince you that I've never been molested throughout my childhood is the same as I doing my best to convince you I'm not a woman. I guess I would seriously have to take a picture of my genital area and display for all of you. As I think well my genital area hasn't been shaved in quite some time.

I'm not stopping until you understand why my mental health is not as it should be.

Trying to have good people understand my life is like/the same as I convincing you I'm not a woman.

They're pissed off telling anyone and everyone to do stupid **** toward me to try to piss me off they're wanting me to fail at having you understand my mental health because they're pissed I revealed their dirty little secret. Think about it. How would you feel in what mature as can be ways would you react. They will do anything to cover up their secrets including kill me. understand the hiring someone... along with having many others want to kill me.