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I'm shy, nerdy and weird. What do I do?

 
 
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2013 11:08 pm
I'm in high school and, like it says above, I'm shy, nerdy and weird. I'm weird because... Well:
1. It helps with my shyness.
2. I only know nerdy jokes that only my friends would get.

I need help. I'm afraid that I've gone the wrong way. That nerdy and weird side of me is just me having some fun. I'm actually a romantic and I'm trying to find a girl to ask out but I haven't found any girl that's not "modern" looking, sweet, actually fun to hang out with and cute. Not hot. Cute. I'm not looking for someone online. Just some help on how a shy guy like me can get girls to show me who they are so that I can finally chose the girl I want to show my romantic side to. What do I do?
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2013 11:22 pm
@DarkThunder,
Dunno, Dark. Might have to expand your requirements to "cute and nerdy" as I don't imagine nerdy to be gender specific.
DarkThunder
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2013 11:26 pm
@roger,
Would it help if it said I'm a guy, which I kinda did?
roger
 
  2  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2013 11:49 pm
@DarkThunder,
'Guy' was understood, rightly or wrongly. It doesn't affect the answer.
DarkThunder
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2013 11:54 pm
@roger,
Nerdy- Answers a lot of the questions asked by teachers correctly.

Cute- ...I don't have an answer for that one. How 'bout a simile? *clears throat* Like a delicate leaf falling from a tree. Like a single rose in a bush of thorns.

Does that help?
roger
 
  1  
Reply Mon 21 Oct, 2013 11:57 pm
@DarkThunder,
I understand the words, and you seem to be misunderstanding the serious answer I gave you. I hope you're not being deliberately obtuse.
DarkThunder
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Oct, 2013 12:03 am
@roger,
Honestly, I don't know what kind of answer you're looking for. Basically what I'm trying to say is that I set myself up to "stick out like a soar thumb". I actually hope this actually answers it. Or else I'm gonna need some clarification.
roger
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Oct, 2013 01:34 am
@DarkThunder,
I am not looking for an answer. You are.
DarkThunder
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Oct, 2013 05:47 am
@roger,
Well then the answer was ridled and I was hoping for one more straight forward.
0 Replies
 
jespah
 
  4  
Reply Tue 22 Oct, 2013 06:57 am
Okay, first off, I had to post this.


I assure you, I'm not making fun of you. I'm rather nerdy m'self.

Anyway, since you don't want to look for love online, the idea is to do it in person. And that means you've got to get out of the house and do things. There are tons of ways to be 'nerdy'. Are you into comic books? Star Trek? D & D? MMORPGs?

Consider where your peeps are bound to hang out. Not just the people you already know, but people like you. Into Star Trek? Consider a convention. Into comics? Try Comic-con or the like. Into movies and movie-making? Consider a festival or at least an event where the local indy theatre shows, say, a James Bond marathon. A lot of the time, you can check out Meetup and find something local. Expand your horizons and consider related interests. If there is no Star Trek convention, e. g., but there's a Babylon 5 reunion, try that instead. It's not the same, I get that (and I know why, BTW), but the idea is, you will see similar people there.

And then, talk to people! Old people, young people. Married people, single people. Male people, female people. And expand your definition of cute (which I think is what roger was getting at). Look at the inside and consider a pairing up of interests before a physical look. This is not a lowering of standards; this is actually a paradigm shift of standards, which is a different animal entirely.

But you need to get out of your house and start fishing in the ponds stocked with the kinds of fish you want to catch.
Lordyaswas
 
  3  
Reply Tue 22 Oct, 2013 07:04 am
@jespah,
Thanks Jespah!

I thought I'd got over my Donny Osmond fetish, but since watching that vid I am now aware of urges again.

Ten years of therapy and two Court injunctions all down the drain!
0 Replies
 
Romeo Fabulini
 
  0  
Reply Wed 6 Nov, 2013 03:09 pm
Darkthunder asked:
Quote:
the girl I want to show my romantic side to. What do I do?

Buy her a cheap sparkly bit of jewellery and you're in mate
0 Replies
 
LoneWolf2981
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 May, 2014 05:25 pm
@DarkThunder,
wow very similar to me bro i think u should make a very good plan and exacute it if u have the guts
Romeo Fabulini
 
  0  
Reply Fri 30 May, 2014 06:13 pm
Hey Wolfie I was shy, nerdy and weird in my teens but I soon grew out of it and I became the toughest person I know, so just hang in there and ride it out til you get a bit older..Smile
0 Replies
 
engineer
 
  2  
Reply Fri 30 May, 2014 07:10 pm
@LoneWolf2981,
LoneWolf2981 wrote:

wow very similar to me bro i think u should make a very good plan and exacute it if u have the guts

You shouldn't make a very good plan, that is over thinking it. Just ask her out. Don't think it through, don't worry about what is going to happen, don't worry about what people will think or say, just ask her out. If she says no, ask out your second choice.
0 Replies
 
vikorr
 
  1  
Reply Fri 30 May, 2014 08:17 pm
@DarkThunder,
May I take a stab in the dark and say that the major parental influence in your life so far has been your mother?

Your sense of romanticism appears not to be linked to 'who you are'...in other words, it appears you a likely to bend over backwards for a girl, and give them everything that 'they want'...this won't work. Women want you to be nice because of who you are, not because you want to please them or make them happy...and they can tell the difference. The lesson in that is - work on having a life, standing up for yourself, going after what you want, being respectfully persistent, having focus, achieving etc (these are all qualities that women find attractive, though you don't have to possess them all)...and having a sense of humour.

You can be geeky and develop all of this - though it usually takes a fair degree of courage (and if not courage, then determination and persistence)

I would also like to point out that your restrictions on what is attractive is...way to restrictive. In all of high school, you can barely find a girl who's attractive to you? Seriously?...and you think you're going to find one by...what...magic?...out there in the 'online world'? This isn't said to be harsh. If you wish to limit your partner preference to one in say, 2000...that's up to you. Just one further question on that - how many women do you expect to meet, in the next 10 years?

Other than that...you could practice by jumping in the deep end...it's not a bad way to learn, if you can handle the fact that you will likely suck the first several time or more.

And one last thing...the way you want to be with that 'someone special'...you should practice with every woman. I don't mean the intimate stuff, but being : charming, self-assured, funny, assertive, go-getting, energetic, listener etc. In being that way with all women...that special woman will still be able to tell when you mean it for her, and her alone...and you'll be more genuine about it....

....because it will become part of who you are, with practice...much like musician seems to naturally play his/her chosen instrument, so much so that they can convery their emotions / excitement / power etc through their music (ie it becomes a part of them)...but to get there, they had to practice and practice.

0 Replies
 
 

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