Girl mysteriously ignoring me

Give the girl a chance! She may have painful periods and just feel too wretched to answer texts - or may not have access to her phone for some reason. There could be dozens of simple explanations. You seem very sure that she is 'very into' you - if you are so sure of that, why do you doubt her honesty? Not a good start to any relationship.

If you "confront" her about this, or in any way challenge her over what she says to you, you will completely blow any chance you had with this girl. Also all the girls in town will soon know that you are a dick. Just because she dated you once, that does not, as you seem to think, make her your property or your pet dog that you can order around and require explanations from. She is free to date you, or not date you, or anybody else, as she sees fit, and she is not obliged to give you any reason at all. She does not owe you any reason or explanation, and if she gives you reasons that you feel are unsatisfactory, you are way out of line to call them "lies".

Reading between the lines, it seems to me that on your first date, she may have got the impression (as I have!) that you are a jealous, controlling type of guy who thinks he has ownership over any woman he dates, and she may therefore not feel like continuing. (Did you issue her any warnings about seeing other guys, or act like you felt you were in the driving seat?)

When I was a very young man, a common excuse girls gave for declining a date was that they were washing their hair. I once got told by a girl that she could not come out because her favorite soap was on the TV that night. I guess in these open and frank times, a girl may say she has her period. Whatever. Move on.

I see an anonymous coward voted me down without having the balls to post why.

Maybe she has heard from other girls you "confronted" in the past.


No mystery there. If a girl wants to answer your texts or see you, she will. If she doesn't, she won't. It's as simple as that.

Contrex, you didn't vote yourself down, did you? Is that even possible?

You cannot vote your own posts up or down.

hmmm...unless you register under a different pseudonym

anyway, not saying you did...I was just amused about how your post previous to my first almost seemed to disagree with your first.

I don't get what you mean about my second post "almost disagreeing" with my first.

My first post says that if he thinks she is "a liar and running around with other guys" because she declines a second date, clearly he has jealousy/control issues, and that perhaps she picked up on that during the first date. I also said he has no right to expect any kind of excuses or reasons from her.

In my second post, I suggested as an afterthought that after the first (and only) date maybe she had heard stuff about him on the girls network, and also that her failing to answer his texts was not "mysterious" as he had written.

I do not see how the second disagrees with the first, even slightly.

In any case, I think the mystery has been solved.

Well, Contrex, I rather like you and often agree with you. I didn't thumb you down, though I thought you might or might not be a bit hasty. I could see your point of view.

But whining about getting a down thumb and calling whoever did it a coward? Give me a break.

You want us all to write essays if we ever thumb you up?
People react to posts and have a way to express that without starting a composition.
It's true that some people do go after others, downing everything they say, but that isn't apparently what happened.

Personally, I try not to ever down post about opinions.

Thank you. Likewise.



I wouldn't call that "whining". Whining is insistent and shrill. Girls and three-year-olds whine. Personally, I don't see the need for voting up or down. The system has shortcomings, including the fact that anyone can attack a post anonymously. A short post saying that a person agrees or if not, why, seems much better to me.

Ok, ok, carp, then.

In the best of worlds we'd all explain our disagreements. But what we often see here is people posting down for disagreement, or arguing forevermore into eternity or similar vapor with people they are just disgusted by as sort of a combo plate.

Whole long threads become slam fests of a few as the sane and temperate drop out.

Personally, if I down thumb it's about my being finally fed up with a person's constant insulting of another poster. Usually, but not always, I give myself a rest by ignoring the insulter for a cloakroom break time. My weakness is that I don't downthumb often enough (I don't much anyway) with people I agree with but have lost their marbles re personal insults. Anyway, to me the whole set up was as the community speaking up by thumbs about behavior, not re opinions.

Anyway, people who are near-saints are sometimes down thumbed - so that was what I reacted about. It's a norm.

one date and penciling in another is not "we are dating"....it is one freaking date.

best guess is that she got a better offer. tell her you regret that it did not happen, that you hope that it will, and see what happens.

Adds re this -

"Girls and three-year-olds whine" - I agree or used to agree, though boys can be whiny too; they may be phased out of it more quickly, maybe through movies seen. I decided somewhere in my years that whining and some other behaviors were a ploy when someone lacked power.
I didn't mean it in that sense re your, uh, carp.


I need to go back and look at the original post to figure out what I think.

Looking again at Brian's post -
"A girl I am dating recently said she just got her period so cancelled our second date and is mysteriously not answering simple texts on a Friday night. She is very into me this I know but I have a feeling she is a liar and is seeing other guys. Whatever just don't lie. Opinions? Should I confront her about this?"

1) A girl I am dating recently said she just got her period so cancelled our second date and is mysteriously not answering simple texts on a Friday night.

Me, my life of periods were interesting, the first one happening the day our girl scout troop trouped up the Washington Monument and I turned up missing. That episode was described elsewhere on this site but was a mere start.

I routinely had pain until after I threw up at the start of my periods. I threw up in some fine public places as I kept going to school and so on: the ivy patch between the chemistry and math buildings. The women's restroom in the old (but only one then) student union, when the woman in the next cubicle whaled, oh please!

That went on for years. Yes I saw doctors. They know more about it now. Still this kind of thing may account for the situation, as Vonny said. Even if she was not busy vomiting, she might have wanted space.

Space is a concept that could be useful to Brian.

2) She is very into me this I know but I have a feeling she is a liar and is seeing other guys.
Why?

It's true that girls not matured yet give excuses. I suppose boys do too, as in, people do. People are not always straightforward, including grown women and men. But some are, learn it is simpler.

3) She is very into me this I know but I have a feeling she is a liar and is seeing other guys. Whatever just don't lie. Opinions? Should I confront her about this?

She doesn't answer and you think she is a liar and seeing other guys?

She may be clutching the toilet and you are worried about other guys.


I think Brian has trust issues before this young woman, so I see Contrex's point.

I was being playful when I wrote that; I didn't take any offense at what you wrote.

I know.