single mum, nervous about finding love

I am a fairly recently single father. It is difficult after being attached for so long.

I stay away from dating sites (they seem like way too much pressure). I have made a concerted effort to be social, getting out and meeting people in normal circumstances doing things that I like doing. That makes it easier because I am meeting people who share my interests.

My first date after being single again was incredibly awkward, I haven't heard back from the poor woman (I do hope she understands it was social ineptness and not me intentionally being an ass). I had to laugh it off and keep going. And since then I have had some very nice evenings with some very interesting people.

You just have to get out there and remember that it is supposed to be fun. It does get easier.

I truly do hope you find a companion that helps you to be the best you can be and you do the same for her but to be honest I do not have a clue where to start looking.

I know it might sound stupid but for some reason I would think that you may have to find a recent widow who has been married for many years but that still does not mean she was a giver in the relationship.
Do not get me wrong I think that both should strive very hard to be givers to any relationship.

Looking for a companion? That sounds like work. That is not where I am at.

I want to enjoy where I am at and make meaningful connections. Companionship will come when it comes. As a middle aged guy coming out of a long term marriage, actively looking for a companion doesn't sound like something I want to do right now. I am at the age that I realize that life is short and I am going to live it meaningfully.

I don't know where you are coming at with the widow thing, there are lots of really cool people who aren't recent widows. That sounds like an awfully narrow restriction.

Dating should be fun.

You go for it stud muffin and I thought that you wanted a true companion when you got married, I guess this shows how wrong I was.

My sister met her husband on Match.com.

She was divorced and had been relocated to a new city and she was lonely so she thought she'd give it a try. She went on several dates where things didn't click (not bad dates, just no chemistry) and then she went out with J and they really hit it off. They dated for a couple of years and have now been married for a couple of years.

We were all kind of skeptical but J is really great and they're really happy.

Just play it safe -- meet for an afternoon coffee, don't let them pick you up at your house, etc. These sites are just a way to facilitate meeting people.

Go out and have fun.

Them Jehovah witnesses can surprise you at times.

What?

Are you OK with jokes?

Yeah. If they make sense.

I did want a true companion when I got married. I will let you guess how that worked out for me

What is wrong with just enjoying life, making some connections and having some fun with cool people? If a true companion (or even a false companion) comes from that, so be it.

Widow... true companion... you seem to have a very well-thought out vision for my life.

That is good



I would rather hear both sides of the story but being only one side is here I would be interested in listening if you are interested in telling.



Nothing at all




I really do apologize if I have come across wrong, I have had many family members leave there wives after many years and it makes me sad.

Do not get me wrong because I think of leaving my wife more often than I wish to think about but I think that there may be more that can be done to save a marriage then many people try.

I know life is not perfect and both sides are at fault and sure sometimes one may be more at fault.

I did take a slight offense at your posts (but really not that much because I can ignore it when you cross the line into the personal). You seem to want to talk about my divorce which is a topic that I am not interested in discussing in this public forum.

I am in this thread to share my dating experience with the first poster. My main point is that getting back into dating after divorce can be done and that she can have fun doing it. I found that going out to meet people in social groups (rather than going to dating sites) was easier to me, and I related this because maybe other people will find the same.

I shared with the hope that my experience might be encouraging and helpful, seeing that she and I have faced the sometimes awkward experience of starting to date again.

This thread is a thread about dating again. Let's talk about it.

I apologize for asking personal questions and I do not expect anyone to answer them but as a student of human behavior I do ask questions at times that are offensive "not meaning them to be offensive all the time.

I hope to gain knowledge that may help people's relationships be what they hoped for when they first got together.
Not that I have been successful but I do have a dream.

I have some friends who were in a similar situation a little while ago. If you are uncomfortable with using a site, find a reliable babysitter and go with some friends to a bar or wherever you are comfortable. If you are comfortable, confidant, looking good and open to a relationship things should go your way.

I separated 6 years ago. Now engaged and have been for 3 and a half years. I met my ex-husband through a dating site that was paid for, he paid I didn't and we both paid in the long run It didn't work out.

I met my now fiancé naturally, un-expectedly and after I re-tried dating sites.

What I can share with you, regarding dating sites is, it is a great thing for you if you don't take it seriously and you do have to be careful, have your wits about you.

It enables you to get out of the house, away from your normal run of the mill current busy life. It enables you to get dressed up, remember what it is like to feel attractive and it enables you to meet a variety of different men, giving you the opportunity to converse and remember what it is like to date.

What you have to look out for are those that are not searching for a partner yet claim to be. Profiles are not always written by the said person, often they get their friends to do it, photos are not always correct, often I found in any event upon meeting is that the photo was/is 10 years younger So don't expect all you see and read to be correct, you will know if it is once you meet that person. Some obviously are 100% honest, not all. Be wary that some are on-line on those sites looking for the lost and lonely for self gain.

You probably will hear a lot of stories claiming they don't work. They can work as someone has already stated here. But don't go in with expectations go in with it's fun, it's a start and you will either meet someone or you wont but as I said, it also allows you to get out there which is important.

Meet somewhere where there are other people and also, go it alone, and get yourself home alone.. Caution is a good thing. Some can turn out to be, well nutters

I had some amusing experiences. One even professed how good a lover he was so was confused why I didn't want to try

By the way, my Mother's maiden name is Patterson - good name.

reasoning Logic wants to get as much personal information about you as possible, so he can use it against you at a later date.

If Julie is still around, I have had good luck meeting people at meetup.com. This isn't a dating site. They have groups of people with a specific interest who meet in person. You will meet lots of interesting people.

First dates with strangers are too uncomfortable. I often end up feeling like I am on a strained job interview.

Going out with someone that you have already met and know in a social setting makes things much easier and more natural.

Take a class, join a group, go to church, learn a new hobby, single parents group, etc. etc.

Stay out of bars. Let your friends know you are ready to date.

Good luck. It's not easy out there for a single mom.