My close cousin is acting like complete stranger and fake person towards me. It is pissing me off

mark noble
Reply Tue 23 Jul, 2013 09:31 pm
If your advice was sincere (meaningful even) shouldn't you be practising what you preach?

Total Numpty..............duh.
0 Replies
Reply Wed 24 Jul, 2013 08:07 pm
Dylan, come back here and talk when you feel like it. You seem quite thoughtful and can see different sides to things.
Reply Thu 25 Jul, 2013 02:15 am
I'm trying to imagine at 17 reading all of this what you think of us Adults Smile

Hi-jackers will do that Smile

Yes, Dylan talk to us, we are still here.......
0 Replies
Reply Sun 28 Jul, 2013 03:37 pm
Thanks, well yeah being thoughtful is both good and bad. You understand others well but also analyze other's actions a lot.

One last piece of advise. I have 1-2 other cousins in US too. I dont have any special emotions for them but we sometimes meet, i had helped them with few things. But they also didn't come to see me when i had some serious medical issues. And they are just 4-5 hours of drive.

They claim they are "too busy" but they go on for outing and parties, but don't have time to see a brother in need. I don't feel bad as i had never got close emotions for them (unlike my 13 yr old cousin) but i feel is there anyone you can trust in this world?

Should i discontinue relations from such hypocrite and mean people (they instantly call when need help) and during surgery and troubles, no call.
Reply Tue 30 Jul, 2013 08:47 pm
My view would be - while they are young, give them many chances, because many selfish teens grow into thoughtful adults - and while many don't - you won't know which way your cousins will go until later.

In the meantime, they may learn something through your good example.

Of course, if you chose not to pursue a relationship with your cousins, no one would blame you.

And of course, you could try something like, the next time they call for help - help them out, and then ask them "Hey bro, may I run something by you? (answer - sure, what). (You answer) You know I'll always be here for you when you need help, and I think of you like a brother. Something's been bothering me - last year I was in hospital, and you didn't come and visit me. May I ask you why you didn't visit?

The point of such a conversation is manyfold :
- you ask permission so that he can't feel that you ambushed him with your question
- you are telling him that you think of him as a brother
- you are telling him that his not visiting bothered you
- you are asking him to let you know his reasons for not visiting you
- and through inference, you are implying that you believe brothers visit brothers in hospital - that doing so means something to you, etc (of course he may be too young to understand that, but it may resonate with him at a later time if you go your separate ways)

...and no where in there is pre-judgement
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