What are your pet peeves re English usage?

Half a kilderkin's a firkin merkin mirkle.

I'd rather have a bottle in front o' me than a frontal lobotomy.

For goodness McTag repost your riposte on the spoonerism thread.

I like any other dill does know the difference between here and there.

And don't rile me with out any of your rounded vowels.

My pet peevish prenunciation.

There is a growing annoying speech pattern in Merkin nglish. In news interviews, there is a growing use of short introductory phrases as answers to questions from an interviewer. These questions are usually reffering to practices employed by the interviewee.
FOO EXMPLE

"Do you brush your teeth with a birch branch"?

"I DO" (Usually spoken with an enthusiastic voice)

Its gotten to be a tired response used so frequently and I dont know when it began growing to become a clihe.

Listen for it on news programs

I hate it when people say drivel when they mean dribble, so much so that I love it almost as much as the way it falls so glibly from my tongue, like glibble.

"On any given day" is a phrase that needs extinction, as well as "as far as we can tell".

Screw that. If you're not sure, you can't make a judgement.

In general, the fact that the people in the media are so ignorant, yet their audience looks up to them as role models for language. This goes back to high-school English teachers who said we didn't have to study grammar; we could learn it by listening to the way educated people speak. First of all, people don't learn very accurately just by listening. Second, college education is a fraud, as proven by the ignorance and stupidity of broadcasters, who are practically all college graduates. They practice short-term learning there, cramming for exams and forgetting most of their temporary knowledge soon afterwards.

<b> Ambitious Imbeciles, On-Air Airheads </b>

"Oxymoron." The broadcasters who were too lazy to look it up in the dictionary and infected the language with this mistaken identity think that because of the way it sounds, it must mean something stupid. Actually, it is a clever phrase that is a contradiction only if taken literally, such as "boneless ribs, plastic glasses, or Kansas City, Missouri."

What they really should use instead of their clique's ignorant and simple-minded meaning of "oxymoron" is "a contradiction in terms," which is a claim that a logical phrase is illogical, but only according to their ideology, such as "Conservative Democrat" or "Liberal Republican."

It's not hypercorrecting; don't let them off the hook. They are trying to sound more educated than they are, so it is phony grammar. They are also too lazy to learn and rely on what they hear.

I suspect it's a reaction to the lie we are told about people and things not being better or worse than others but only different.

Misuse of "literally"

My head literally explodes every time it happens

I'm peticularly peeved when I portray errant nonsense when I mean to display arrant nonsense.

There is great confusion over the pronunciation of the word plantain, both the
banana-type fruit and the wild plant genus Plantago. Many people insist on plan'-tain. Others claim it's plan'-tin. I looked it up in the Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary--an old edition, admittedly--and the only pronunciation they give is plan'-n, as in mount'n, or curt'-n. You hear moun'-tin sometimes or cur'-tin, or cer'=tin, or ki'-tin, but mount'-n, curt'-n, cert'-n, and kit'-n are the standard pronunciation.

Also, dissect is pronounced dis-sect', not die'-sect, just as dissent is dis-sent', not die'-sent, and dissolve is dis-solve', not die'-solve.

I have noticed lately that nobody is "asking" somebody anything anymore. They are always "reaching out to" and it is beginning to drive me bonkers.

I have felt the same way for many years about people who don't want to tell me something, but want to "share" it with me.

Sharing is caring. Don'tcha know?

Interesting. Didn't know that stuff, and have been pronouncing it wrong all this time.

With my bad memory, I'll probably continue to pronounce it wrong.

The rest are fine, but dissect is Die Sect.

dis•sect (dĭ-sĕktˈ, dī-, dīˈsĕktˌ)

Pronunciation is not subject to hard and fast rules. I have not, however, heard anyone who says eie-solve or die-ssent.

I hate to digress butjsay dissect either way.

http://howjsay.com/pronunciation-of-dissect