The Old Farts Thread

Do you have to retire to become an old fart?

@margo,

margo wrote:

Do you have to retire to become an old fart?

Not necessarily, margo, but retirement gives you more time to just fart away. One of the benefits of an advanced age is that nobody takes you to task for being lazy any more. If I had acted as I do now back when I was in my 40s and/or 50s, people would have pointed fingers and called me a lazy good-for-nothing. They can't do that now. I'm 'retired.'

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@Lustig Andrei,

I got much more non work related stuff done before I retired than after.

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@roger,

Know what you mean, Rog', but I think the point is that now there's no real pressure to do anything you don't feel like doing. I don't have to go that silly beer-drinking party if I don't want to. Back in the day I would have felt obligated to go because people might say I couldn't take it any more. Nowadays I don't give a flying fart what anybody says.

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@roger,

You gotta watch that inactivity. Old farts gotta keep moving around to keep our parts oiled and primed.

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@cicerone imposter,

Right you are. But, again, the point is that now it's a matter of choice. You move around because it's what you want to do, not something that you're required to do by outside forces. Your motivation all comes from within; no outside force, e.g. employer or peer group, can tell you to do something and expect compliance.

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@Lustig Andrei,

It's like always being on summer vacation from school. No classes, no schedules, no homework--you're free to hang out and do what you want to do.

Some people have trouble structuring their day, or filling their time, or finding something to do, for others it's much less of a problem.

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@firefly,

Being on summer vacation from school is a good way to put it. Sometimes I need to push myself, but mostly, I just do what needs to be done without worrying about what will need to be done tomorrow.

It's nice being an old fart. Glad you started the thread Lusty.

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I believe I posted this before, but IMO:
The first thing you have to worry about is forgetting to zip up your pants after you take a leak.
The next thing you have to worry about is forgetting to unzip your pants before you take a leak.

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@neologist,

My problems are a) I dirty my shirt when I eat out, and nobody tells me about it, b) my shirt in the back is sticking out, and nobody tells me about it, and c) I have toilet paper stuck on my shoes, and I'm dragging it along with me - and nobody tells me about it.

Shocked

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@cicerone imposter,

By the time the day is over the menu for the day may be read off my shirt

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@neologist,

I agree, neo. Checking the status of your fly frequently is very important. I'd also add this bit of advice to any old fart -- never pass by a public restroom when you're out in a public place.

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@Lustig Andrei,

Always go to the bathroom before leaving the house, even if you had not thought previously of the need to go.

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@Lustig Andrei,

I remember where most toilets are when I travel to different countries; it's a special gift that is inborn from the dangers of peeing in one's pants.

When on tours where we have to ride on buses for long periods of time, I always go to the toilet at rest stops - even when I feel no need. I also don't drink beer while on the road.

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@cicerone imposter,

Depend--the old farts security blanklet.

http://thumbs4.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/mg1LBiw46dg-VsuGFjl_tbQ.jpg

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@firefly,

Didn't know they had such a thing! LOL

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@margo,

I retired in 1999. Ever since I've held the title of Fartus Emeritus.

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@JLNobody,

Oh! I thought it was Futus Emeritus.

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G'nite all.
See ya later flatulater.

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@neologist,

That should be fartalater. Mr. Green

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The Old Farts Thread

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