Tell me a joke

At a church social there was a bowl of apples with a sign in front of it that said "Just take one, God's watching" Further down was a place of gooey choc chip cookies with a sign that said "Take as many as you want, God's watching the applies."

read the worst analogies thread. You cannot be sad doing that. Like you cannot be sad when you just took a good dump and are now thinking of eating some pringles potato chips.

Thank you!

I hate typimg on my phone or i'd say a bigger thank hou

I'll look for that thanks

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. Another guy comes in and orders a drink; he drinks it and jumps up and down and jumps out the window. He comes back twenty minutes later and orders the same drink. The same thing happens and, after twenty minutes, he comes back and orders, yet again, the same drink. Right before he chugs it down, the first guy stops him and asks the second guy if he can drink it. The second guy said sure and the first guy chugs it down, jumps up and down, and then out the window. He falls to his death. The bartender turns around and says to the second guy, "God damn it, Superman! Stop ******* around with my customers!"

How can you be sad ... you're in Phoenix!

Who knew superman was such a dick?

Thanks!

I cried because I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes.

I dont know how you got that ribbon..
Im a bad texter

I only expectd to be in phoenix for one hour

I might be im phoenix over night!

A funny quote from Groucho Marx:
"Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?"

Snowed in?

A man is in a bar crying into his beer. The barman asks what the problem is. The crying man says his wife doesn't want to have sex any more because he is so lousy in bed and he is now very sexually frustrated. The barman suggests a mistress. The man says his mistress said the same thing. The barman suggests prostitutes. The man says he visited a prostitute and she said he was so lousy she was giving him his money back. The barman finally suggests masturbation. The man says he tried that and his hand went to sleep.

Thank you all for the jokes. I finally made it to my destination. A 5 hour flight turned into a 12 hour flight. I was starting to despair. You helped pull me through.

I actually do like Phoenix but there aren't a lot of flights out of there on a Friday afternoon so if you miss your connection you're kind of stuck there. Phoenix had a beautiful sunset last night!

Thanks for your all joke.

funny joke