What? Another Blonde Joke

Ha, that's great. I got one.

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

Keep 'em coming.

I love blonde jokes.

A general contractor was speaking with a woman about the paint colors for her house.

In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and
went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!"

In the second room she told the him she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote
this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"

The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would
like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window,
opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"

The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"

"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street..."

***

This ventriloquist was playing the cheap hotels in the Catskills, and he was reeling off blonde jokes one after the other, of course, through his dummy. Finally, a blonde in the audience jumps up and says:

I'm getting tired of this bigotry. I'm a blonde and i'm not an idiot!

Lady, i'm sorry . . . they're just jokes, i didn't mean to offend anyone.

You shut up, i wasn't talking to you, i was talking to the dwarf sitting on your knee.

A blonde gets home from work early and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" she asks.
"I think I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband.
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy, Mommy, Aunty Shirley is hiding in the closet and she has no clothes on."
The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom right past her husband.... Rips open the closet door and sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.
"You rotten Bitch", she screams. "My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked playing hide and seek with the kids!"

ha ha, love that one.

A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game.

She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand."

"What didn't you understand ?"

And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

My former boss, a blonde, was starting a club restricted to intelligent blondes. She was getting opinions on what they should call themselves. I suggested The Golden Retreivers.

To this day, I'm still out of work.

Two bondes walked into the Empire State Building.


Well, jeez, you'd think one of them would'a seen it!

so am i ...