A duck waddles into a bar and asks, "Have any grapes?"
The bartender calmly replies, "No," and the duck waddles out.
The next day, the duck waddles in and asks, "Have any grapes?"
The bartender looks at the duck, and says, "Nope. Not today either, " and the the duck waddles out.
The next day the duck waddles in and asks the same question. The bartender glares at the duck and says, "No, this is a bar. We normally don't have grapes here."
The duck replies, "Oh, I see. Thank you," and waddles out.
The next day the duck waddles in and looks at the bartender. The bartender glares back at the duck. The duck then opens his bill and asks, "Have any grapes?"
The bartender is now really angry and explodes, "Look! We don't have any grapes here! If you come in again and ask for grapes, I'm going to nail your webbed feet to the floor! Got it?"
The duck replies, "Got it," and waddles out.
The next day was Sunday, and the bar was closed, but, on Monday, the duck waddles in.
The bartender looks warily at the duck and through tense lips asks, "Can I help you?"
After a pause, the duck enquires, "Have any nails?"
The bartender taken aback replies, "Uh, no. No, we don't have any nails."
The duck asks, "Well, do you have any grapes?"