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Jokes

 
 
Reply Sat 4 Apr, 2020 09:44 am
Jokes often begin, "An Irishman walks into a bar."
Then they continue, "He went up to the bartender."
After that the next sentence could either be, "He asks the bartender for the stiffest drink he has," or, "He asked the bartender for the stiffest drink he had."

Why?









- He wanted a really stiff drink.
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Apr, 2020 11:17 am
@edgarblythe,
Because in America the Irish are stereotypically drunks.

In the UK, until very recently at least, they were stereotypically stupid.

Those jokes usually start what,do you call an Irish... or why do Irish....

Neither stereotype is true.
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Apr, 2020 12:12 pm
@izzythepush,
I didn't start writing with an actual joke in mind. It has always bothered me how fluidly jokes slip from present to past context.

I count myself in part among the Irish and I dearly love some Irish writers. Any joke I make or repeat containing any ethnic group is never intended to peg them in a bad way. The Irish are as you say stereotypically drunks. It likely began when they were not a welcome group among the immigrants. It's likely why I first thought of Irish and bar together. Then I used to be a drunk, so who would I be to call names?
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Apr, 2020 12:43 pm
@edgarblythe,
Over here it’s the Scots who are drunks, and mean. As Frankie Boyle pointed out when was the last time you met an alcoholic with his finances sorted.
Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Apr, 2020 01:28 pm
@izzythepush,
Quote:
..when was the last time you met an alcoholic with his finances sorted?


I'll have you know, when I was in the throes of active alcoholism, my finances were very well sorted! Across the bar, in the liquor stores, sorting themselves from my pockets as I stumbled home...

...yep, quite nicely sorted.
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Apr, 2020 02:11 pm
@izzythepush,
I'm even closer to the Scots than the Irish. But I attribute my own drunkenness to growing up with a drunk.
0 Replies
 
izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sat 4 Apr, 2020 02:49 pm
@Sturgis,
Frankie Boyle said he’d never had a blackout and woken up to find he’d changed his energy provider.
0 Replies
 
nacredambition
 
  2  
Reply Sat 4 Apr, 2020 10:04 pm
An Irishman, a Scotsman, a Pommie, a priest, a rabbi, a horse, Dave, an infinite number of mathematicians, and the bus driver all walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
visceral
 
  3  
Reply Sat 4 Apr, 2020 11:09 pm
@nacredambition,
Vladimir Putin, Queen Elizabeth, and Barack Obama all died and went to Hell together.

They noticed a bright red phone on the reception desk and asked what it was there for.

The Devil told them it was for calling back to Earth.

Putin asked to call Russia. He spoke for five minutes. When he finished, the Devil said the cost of the call was $1,000,000. Putin wrote him a check.

Queen Elizabeth called England and talked for half an hour. The Devil said she owed $6,000,000. She, too, wrote a check.

Then Obama got his turn and talked for four hours. The Devil said he owed $5.

Putin heard this and went ballistic. He asked why Obama got to call home so cheaply.

The Devil smiled and replied ...

"Since Trump took over, the country's gone to Hell. Now it's a local call."
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Sat 4 Apr, 2020 11:17 pm
The last two jokes posted stayed in a single context throughout. Which shows it's not that hard to do.
0 Replies
 
 

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