Important Stimulus Advice

Forums: Jokes, Taxes, Satire, Stimulus
Email this Topic • Print this Page

Important Tax Advice/Economic Stimulus

Sometime this year, we taxpayers might receive another economic stimulus.
It is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q&A format:

Q: What is an Economic Stimulus?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q: Where will the government get this money?
A: From taxpayers.

Q: Is the government simply giving me back my own money, then?
A: No, only a smidgen of it.

Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.

Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with your stimulus check. Use it wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* if you spend it on gasoline, it money will go to the Arabs.
* if you purchase a computer, it goes to India, Taiwan or China.
* if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
* if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
* if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
* if you pay your credit card off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in North America by:

(1) Spending it at a yard sale or thrift shop, or
(2) Going to a ballgame, or
(3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
(4) Beer, or
(5) Tattoos
(These are the only American businesses still operating here.)

CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

Topic Stats
Top Replies
Link to this Topic

Type: Discussion • Score: 6 • Views: 2,616 • Replies: 17
Topic Closed

Brilliant!

0 Replies

Below viewing threshold (view)

@Phoenix32890,

It should be noted that many people oppose the stimulus. They should have a say too.

Q: Do people need money from the government.
A: No, everyone should have saved money for a crisis.

Q: Is it fair to ask people to stop working without giving them financial help for lost ages?
A: Of course. Everyone should have saved money for a crisis.

Q: Many poor people don't make enough to save extra money.
A: That is why we have strip clubs.

Q: And people who can't work in a strip club.
A: There is a reason God gave them two kidneys.

Q: Isn't money reasonable to help people in extraordinary emergency?
A: What emergency? You mean a Democrat hoax caused by 5G?

* If you spend your money on rent-- you have a place to live.
* If you spend your money on medical care-- you will have the care you need (and you are less likely to get your neighbors sick).
* If you spend you money on food-- you won't die of hunger.
* If you spend money on your car-- you will be able to work again.

Choose wisely.

0 Replies

Just the one's you are on, Setanta. Coincidence?

0 Replies

I don't see how we as a society can avoid giving stimulus money.

We are "asking" that people shut down their businesses and give up their incomes for the greater good. Do we really expect working class Americans to go without any income for 3 months?

0 Replies

I feel the same way about ideological libertarians as I do about ideological liberals. Some of the things they believe make sense, I find myself agreeing with them to a certain extent. The problem is the extremism and the demand for ideological purity.

I listen to NPR One on my cell phone. They have started offering me "other perspectives" which come with a disclaimer. You have to opt in to hear it; you actually have to click your consent on the screen (which made me chuckle). But, when I opt in I actually heard a perspective which didn't conform to NPR's usual editorial choices.

I was happy when I heard that. It is nice when people step out of their bubbles once in while.

0 Replies

Setanta wrote:

Far too many self-important jackasses here don't understand humor, or even recognize it when it's right under the noses. Those are the attention whore types who live to trash threads.

I love irony.

1 Reply

This is not original. It is a rehash-- apparently from a post on a (now defunct) website called americanprepper.com. This humor is obviously political. It is right wing propaganda.

If you set your google search to pre-2018, you will find that this exact screed was originally written to trash the Obama stimulus. The clear message that the Socialist Obama was going to give away money to poor people who would spend it on prostitutes and fancy cars.

If I can't respond to this so-called "humor" with humor of my own... then when is humor appropriate.

0 Replies

They also wouldn't know irony if it bit their pathetic asses.

0 Replies

Once again, Phoenix, brilliant humor.

1 Reply

@Setanta,

Set- Call me naive, but when I first saw this, I thought it was a hoot. I did not ascribe any political meanings to it.

Many people, in addition to financial troubles, are really suffering emotionally because of the social isolation, fear of illness and dying, and loss of control in their lives. When I first saw it, I perceived the bizarre humor as means to lighten things up a little, and to give people a big laugh!

If I wanted to talk about politics, I would couch things in much stronger terms.

Just enjoy.

1 Reply

@maxdancona,

Maximillius, the first tag is "Jokes"! Do you not comprehend this?

Congratulations though, you've once more made a thread all about yourself.

Maybe, enough good folk will pop in here and find a way to revive it.

0 Replies

@Phoenix32890,

No problem, Boss. I think those who come here will enjoy it. In my case, I literally laughed out loud by the end of it.

0 Replies

Thanks, phoenix.

0 Replies

Quote:

..are not the people to be making the case.

Neither are you.

Then too, none of us (the 3 you mention and the 4th who you mention in your signature box, are to the best of my knowledge part of any 'clique'.

2 Replies

@Sturgis,

It is only three. The one I mention in my signature box is you, Sturgis.

My signature once said "Look at that! Sturgis is taking while Izzy drinks a glass of water."

0 Replies

@Sturgis,

Sturgis wrote:

Quote:
..are not the people to be making the case.

Neither are you.

Then too, none of us (the 3 you mention and the 4th who you mention in your signature box, are to the best of my knowledge part of any 'clique'.

I've got the ^#**#+*+*#* guy blocked but I recognize one of his signature whines. It gets old and tiresome.

0 Replies

The Hypocrisy....

Imagine if McGentrix or Oralloy posted this same joke (which was jumping around right wing blogs in 2014 in pretty much its same form).

In this case Setanta would be calling the joke "idiotic" and the poster a "moron" (sometimes he changes this to "maroon" because he thinks it's cute). Sturgis would be saying whatever nasty thing Izzy was thinking.

Strangely, Edgar's nasty passive aggressive comments... I suspect they would be exactly the same.

0 Replies

Important Stimulus Advice

Related Topics

Quick Links

My Account

able2know