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God's Pet Peeves...

 
 
Monger
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Mar, 2004 11:33 pm
dlowan wrote:
Did you truly think I expected a sensible answer?

Nah, but I was looking for an excuse to post those verses coz I thought they were high-frikkin-larious... Smile
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Monger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 03:54 am
www.godhatesshrimp.com
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 03:59 am
Sheesh - the prawns must be getting a complex!

Wotcha yew doin' home on Satdee night Monger? I have the excuse of the week from hell and exhaustion!
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 04:03 am
Smeg the prawns! The bastid hates whales and porpoises!! And seals and sealions and seacows and sea-otters and coral and sea worms and starfish and octopussies and calamari and jellyfish and sharks and crans and practically EVERYTHING in the water - especially the mammals!!!!
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Monger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 04:27 am
dlowan wrote:
Wotcha yew doin' home on Satdee night Monger? I have the excuse of the week from hell and exhaustion!

I'm studying to try to git me a highschool diploma. 'Sides, I'm still recovering from last night..bit of chemical overdose.
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 04:28 am
Hmmmm - ditto.

How is the study going?
Good on ya!!!!!!!!!
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Monger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 04:31 am
Thankee. It's going well enough, laziness notwithstanding.

---
dlowan wrote:
Smeg the prawns! The bastid hates whales and porpoises!!

You could always just eat them to spite god. That's what I've been doing with the crawling bugs for years.
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 04:34 am
Eat whales and porpoises!!!!!!!!
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 04:35 am
Your curent avatar eats termites - and wittle baby monkeys...
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Monger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 06:47 am
Much like the real me...
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 06:51 am
You're gonna go to hell, furry butt...
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 06:53 am
I ate whale once, but I swear it wasn't on porpoise.
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 06:54 am
Ah - that's just the cetacean talking...
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 06:57 am
Oh, you thought I was punning...no, I ordered the whale liver, but to get it on porpoise was $20 extra, so I skipped it. God may hate whale, but I suppose said deity has never been constipated. Whale clears out the blowhole quite nicely.
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 07:09 am
Oh my!
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 07:13 am
I'm having a 'Finding Nemo' moment....do I speak whale?
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 07:30 am
I don't think the whales witll be prepared to speak to YOU any more cav, so the point is irrelevant...
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 08:46 am
To get back to the four-legged insect thing, perhaps it's a divine typo. I mean, 4 and 6 are really close to each other on the keyboard. Or perhaps God is a little dyslexic or at any rate maybe His/Her typist is.

Another theory is it could be just an accounting thing. Does anyone ever really check the heavenly books? Does God have the equivalent of the IRS come around and check all of the numbers? This could also explain why Adam, Noah and Methuselah all lived as long as they did.

I hereby call for a divine audit.
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cavfancier
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 08:50 am
I heard that god gets audited every year, but a simple "Umm, didn't I create you, and therefore can destroy you" generally scares nebbish accountants away.
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 09:58 am
Can God make an accountant so persistent that even He (or She) will be audited?

Now there's a metaphysical question that isn't often asked.
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