32
   

Would you buy your tween son a "Playboy"?

 
 
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 07:57 pm
Several days ago a topic came up on a parenting forum I visit that has been on my mind.

The poster, a single mom, said her preteen son had asked her to buy him a "Playboy". He'd heard about the magazine and was curious about it. She understood he was maturing and that his curiosity about the female body was natural.

Several responders suggested that she buy him an anatomy book.

I suggested that she buy him some vintage "Playboy" magazines where the girls appeared more natural and the images were more provocative than pornographic. (I don't really consider "Playboy" porn but that's a different story.)

People didn't like my answer much. "Supplying porn to a minor is a sin and illegal and you're going to hell" was pretty much the consensus.

I remember the first porn I ever saw. My friend J. discovered her much older brother's stash when he went away to college. We were probably in the 5th grade. This was no "Playboy" but what, at the time, was probably considered hard core porn. It was explicit. We were fascinated.

I never really developed an appetite for porn and this was one of my few brushes with the real deal. I did, however, grow up to be a photographer and I have shot some soft-Playboyesque style photos for clients during the course of my career.

I'm wondering if perhaps my sense of "its just a job" has clouded my judgement. I'm wondering if I would buy a Playboy for Mo (11 years old) if he asked me. Would I maybe buy him a vintage "Playboy"? I don't freak out when he picks up my Edward Weston photo book and it has lots of very naked photos of his muse in there.

I'm curious about what you all think about this. Tell me what you think you'd do in the circumstances that the single mom wrote about.
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Question • Score: 32 • Views: 15,694 • Replies: 262

 
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 08:13 pm
@boomerang,
I think I'd split the difference.

Provide an anatomy book, and hide a Playboy or something similar where it could be found. What would be the fun of the first Playboy experience if an adult gave it to you?

edit: I think 8 or so plus would be ok for both.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 08:17 pm
@boomerang,
My only brush with Playboy was that I lived in a tackon place behind a duplex on Beverly Glen, playboy bunny of the year being just past a locked door to my place. That got raucous.

I wasn't stupid then, but naive, very naive. Let's say my immediate neighbors yelled at each other vociferously.

That was Angela Dorian - she's since been charged with some degree of murder re her husband. Don't trust me on that, re the murder charge - I didn't memorize it. She has a regular name, that I won't link (lazy).

I only talked with her once, in the pathway between our apartments.
She was ok.


Would I buy a tween son a playboy? I've no idea. If I had one, he could buy his own.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  2  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 08:21 pm
I am not sure Playboy is the right magazine for a kid. A naturist magazine might be more appropriate.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  -1  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 08:22 pm
@boomerang,
Given the internet the idea of a boy needing to have a playboy just to see naked females is amusing.

And that take into account any parental controls software that someone might had on their home computers.

Even assuming that he does not had friends that will tell him how to get around such software a fast google search will give him the information in short order.
Thomas
 
  4  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 08:29 pm
@boomerang,
boomerang wrote:
The poster, a single mom, said her preteen son had asked her to buy him a "Playboy". He'd heard about the magazine and was curious about it. She understood he was maturing and that his curiosity about the female body was natural.

To begin with, I think it's awesome there's so much trust in the relationship between the son and the mother here. If I was the mother, I'd totally buy her that Playboy issue, vintage or contemporary. And then I'd use it as a starting point to discuss all kinds of things with him, including the aesthetics of nude pictures, the attitude towards women they reflect, the attitude towards women common wisdom think they reflect, sex in general, social attitudes about sex, and a number of other things. It would be such a great conversation starter!
aidan
 
  4  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 08:57 pm
I don't like porn. I think it objectifies women. I would tell my son, 'Listen, if you're curious enough about it, buy your own- this isn't something I want to do with you' - just as if he wanted to try cigarettes and beer at the age of 11 , I wouldn't buy him those either- he'd have to buy his own.

Heck, I don't like video games - I never bought him one of those either - but if he'd ever wanted to spend his birthday money on an x-box - I wouldn't have stood in his way.

I don't contribute to industries I think are harmful to people and I don't give my children things that I think could possibly be harmful to them at present or in the future

I looked at porn (several of the fathers of my friends and children I babysat for had it), I tried cigarettes, and I tried alcohol and pot and I didn't get addicted to any of it, but that doesn't mean my child wouldn't.
No, I wouldn't be a part of giving my son something that wasn't edifying, and in fact might turn out to be harmful to him.

And it's not the fact that the girls are naked - it's the fact that they're selling themselves and their sexuality.

My son has a mother and a sister. I would not encourage him to participate in an industry that displays and markets women like pieces of meat.

If he found a playboy and looked at it - so be it. But no - I wouldn't buy him one.

Because actually, more and more kids are getting addicted to porn at younger and younger ages.

I mean what's next ? Is this mother gonna take him to a strip joint and buy him a lap dance when he's curious about that?

There are some things kids should experience on their own.

I mean now we have playdates - kids can't go out and play on their own. Next it's gonna be 'porn' dates - 'Here Johnny, Mommy got you this magazine because it's exactly the sort of sexuality MOMMY wants you to experience and view and read about at this point in your life and MOMMY has to be a part of EVERYTHING Johnny does and when and how he does it.

Can you imagine how the other kids would laugh when Johnny said, 'Oh, my mom bought me my first playboy.'

Part of the fun of growing up and experimenting is knowing you're not following Mommy's rules for once and you're trying something on your own that Mommy might not to get to know about.






BillRM
 
  -1  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 09:27 pm
@aidan,
Quote:
I don't like porn. I think it objectifies women. I would tell my son, 'Listen, if you're curious enough about it, buy your own- this isn't something I want to do with you'
Can you imagine how the other kids would laugh when Johnny said, 'Oh, my mom bought me my first playboy.'


You guys are using computers or some such device to access this site so you got to know that all the damn porn in the world is only a mouse click away from any teenager sitting at a computer.

The whole idea that porn come on sheets of paper in a magazine such as playboy or on a DVD is kind of out dated to say the least.

An once more no commercially sold internet filtering software is even going to slow down a teenager.
aidan
 
  2  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 09:49 pm
@BillRM,
Okay - yes, I know porn exists on the internet.

I wouldn't provide my son with a link to internet porn either - soft/hard core - gay, straight...whatever.
If he finds it, he finds it.
It's not my role as his mother (I don't believe) to help him access it.

I was talking about playboy because that's the title of the thread. I was answering her question.

And I'll say it again - there are some things children experience without their parents- and that's as it should be.
I can't direct my son's sexuality.
I know my mom and dad didn't direct mine- except to instill morals and values.
I'd give my son the same message - be independent, your sexuality is your own responsibility. Don't ask me to do something that goes against my morals and values- so no, I wouldn't contribute or participate in and/or encourage him to contribute or participate in the pornography industry.

If he wants to spend his money on playboy - he'll have to spend HIS money on playboy. I won't spend mine on it and I won't go out of my way to access it for him (even if it's free).
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 09:51 pm
@ehBeth,
That's a good point.

But in this case it was a single mom who really would probably have a harder time explaining having a stash of Playboy than just buying one and giving it to her kid.
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  2  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 09:53 pm
@BillRM,
I would imagine that privacy might play a role in Googling porn.

In our house the computer is centrally located. Mo would have a terrible time looking for such things in private. I think most homes with younger kids are set up the same way.

Plus, I think most parents would rather expose their kids to Playboy than to actual porn on the internet.
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 09:54 pm
@Thomas,
I agree that the level of trust in that relationship is very good.

Mo asks us a lot of questions and we always try to answer him honestly but I don't know how I'd react in such a situation as the one described.
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  2  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 10:01 pm
@aidan,
I really do get your point.

I'm no fan of porn for many of the same reasons. And this is kind of where I get stuck on my job related experiences. I never shot porn but I did shoot some pretty racy stuff. These women were fully involved and were paying me to do this work. I kind of have a hard stretch as seeing this type of picture as being hurtful to women. On the Playboy level they can easily say "no".

One of my very good friends (a woman) manages a strip club and she loves her job. The strippers she works with are all there because they like the job and the money they make from it. They're complicit in their objectification.

But I absolutely agree that there is a level where coercion and manipulation come into play and that it is a sorry deal for the girls who fall into that life.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  -2  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 10:05 pm
@boomerang,
Quote:
In our house the computer is centrally located. Mo would have a terrible time looking for such things in private. I think most homes with younger kids are set up the same way.


That is a good precaution however somehow I question that the parents are in the home monitoring what the kids are doing 24/7.

Outside mowing the lawn perhaps or some such activity that give a child time alone on a computer even one located in the center of the house.

Also playboy is indeed tame compare to the internet it just that with the internet keeping teenage boys away from porn is not likely to be a doable.
boomerang
 
  6  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 10:09 pm
@BillRM,
In your zeal to discuss porn you're missing the whole point of this thread.

Plus, any person who is mowing their own lawn when there is a teenage person living in the house is absolutely crazy.
joefromchicago
 
  2  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 10:09 pm
Given the ready availability of porn on the internet, on cable TV, and in our school classrooms, I'm assuming the kid wants to read Playboy for the articles. I'd tell him: "don't bother." In the good old days, Playboy was like Esquire with pictures of naked chicks. Now it's like the Playboy enterprises company newsletter -- with pictures of naked chicks. It has become so self-referential, it is now essentially a print-infomercial for Hugh Hefner, which is sorta' like subscribing to Geezer's World.
roger
 
  2  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 10:38 pm
@joefromchicago,
Thanks for the tip, Joe. I actually did read some of the articles. Way back, when the earth was much younger, I also read True Magazine. Years later, I actually discovered that at least many of the articles really true.

Boomerang, I tend to prefer the old fashioned ways of learning. That is, talking with other dirty little boys. Still, I do believe I would choose Playboy over either classroom sex education or an anatomy text.
hawkeye10
 
  -1  
Reply Wed 15 Aug, 2012 11:09 pm
What the hell is wrong with this kid that he does not know how to get what he wants on the internet without bothering the parental units?? My main concern with the request would be that my kid might be a moron.
BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Thu 16 Aug, 2012 03:19 am
@boomerang,
Quote:
Plus, any person who is mowing their own lawn when there is a teenage person living in the house is absolutely crazy.



???????????????????????????? Dad I would love to mow the lawn for you however a have a book report that I need the family computer to do now as I am running out of time.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  0  
Reply Thu 16 Aug, 2012 03:21 am
@hawkeye10,
Quote:
concern with the request would be that my kid might be a moron.


LOL............and a valid concern............
 

Related Topics

My daughter - Discussion by Seed
acting out or real problem - Question by Bl08791
Tween girls - Discussion by sozobe
Nebraska Safe Haven Law - Discussion by Diest TKO
For Parents - Discussion by shawn1989
 
  1. Forums
  2. » Would you buy your tween son a "Playboy"?
Copyright © 2019 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 10/18/2019 at 01:12:23