@ehBeth,
ehBeth wrote:
I'm trying to reconcile this with Snood's position (as I understand it) that we can't be /shouldn't be offended by actions/comments against others.
I think you misread Snood....I took away that his position is that you should let people speak and think for themselves. If others are offended at how they are treated then it is they and not you who should be taking objection. It is not your right to treat others as they are your kids, you have no place trying to protect adults who are perfectly able to defend themselves. Your doing so is an invasion of their sovereignty and of their rights of self determination. If they want to let what you consider to be a slight go then you have no right to create a dust up in their name.
And your example is ridiculous...if your party will not be seated then you have been impacted, your object at that point is about what is being denied you, you are speaking for yourself. What I take to be Snoods position does not deny you this.