Can life have meaning if your dreams are unattainable?

Obviously you haven't read the whole thread because you say:

"You read like a young twerp who bought the feminist propaganda but who has just recently has gained enough life experience to figure out that you are a gullible idiot."

firefly, wanna help me here...?

That's Ok I'll say it for her. Ahem: MICHAELJ HATES FEMINISTS!

21 pages? I am not that interested. But the fact that Firefly does not like you means that you are probably a good guy....she cant stand any guy that women can't roll over with ease.

I never said that.

I've never advocated anything regarding women in this thread.

But, both women you were involved with eventually wanted out of the relationship. Everyone has the right to get out of a relationship they don't want to be in--including you.

That's too bad because I tried to use sarcasm to make some parts funny.

I even wrote some "really bad porno" in it.

I even used the term "jizz jar"...

But they don't have the right to use people... That's not right.

You don't give me even an inch. Even enough credit to acknowledge that I really did love those two women, and understand how much what they did hurt me.

It's too bad because I really liked some of the things you said.

If I can be honest, I honestly think you might have a problem with men...

And firefly seriously?

How many relationships do we go through in life, before we actually find someone that we are like OMG, I wish I met you earlier and never leave that person.

People settle. Or, we "try" but it doesn't mean we spend the rest of our lives with that person, a season, a reason, a lifetime.. The lifetime "often" comes later. Or, we are lucky and find "the person" that is perfect for us at a young age. There is no crystal ball, not even for this witch

DUH

Oh, I know.

I bet she's got some good qualities though. It's just that she's stuck on that **** just as much as I'm stuck on my dislike of women.

I bet she's good looking too. Haha, but that's probably just because I think the name "firefly" is cool...

So you loved these women and they hurt you.

Sometimes people get hurt in relationships. That's the risk we all take in relationships.

That's life, MichaelJ. Grow up.

I can understand you spinning it this way - because if I wasn't misguided, then you would have caused your own depression, not women.

There are certain things that are impossible to be misguided about :
- we are each responsible for who we are (duh)
- who we are is reflected by who is in our lives (utterly obvious)
- our maturity is ours to develop
- the richness of our character is ours to develop
- our fears are ours to manage and overcome
- our skillset is ours to develop
- we can achieve everything we manage to achieve in life while being genuinely 'us'
- we can make the best of any situation - this is all in our attitude
- we can train and improve virtually any aspect of our lives

That list could go on. Every part of it is positive. On the negative side (to the list above) we could :

- deny any responsibility for our lives, and constantly blame others
- blame the lack of love / relationships in our lives on anyone but ourself
- not bother to develop our maturity
- not bother enriching our character or life
- not bother developing skills
- lie to ourselves & others (the opposite of genuinely 'us')
- whine about any situation that we aren't good at, and blame others
- not give a stuff about developing ourselves and not improve the things we are bad at, and not refine the things we are good at

That is all negative.

I have a theory that any time we aren't growing, we are dying (mentally, emotionally, and spiritually). From this perspective, all your systems are killing you - mentally, emotionally, and spiritually (you can leave the spiritually off if you like...I use it to mean 'will / energy' etc)

This, and the concept of self-responsibility are two of the concepts I base my own life on.

This plays out in a number of ways :

- I take responsibility for everything in my life - my thoughts, my habits, my beliefs, my emotions, my reactions, my handling of conflict, my ability to influence people, my ability to stand up for myself, my ability to lead / make people laugh etc. It's all my responsibility.

- everything I learn in my life, I ensure can be fully & genuinely a part of me. If it's a useful skill but presented in a manipulative way - I will modify it to fit into who I am

- I see those in my life as a reflection of who I am
if someone doesn't like me - it is relvant only as a reflection (tha reflection is cause by both who he/she is, and who I am) and as information. If some aspect of me can be improved while still being fully & genuinely me - and it's important - I will work on developing that part of me...other times their opinions can be irrelevant (if it's simply irrelevant)

-If someone else has an advantage over me - it is irrelevant - all that is relevant is that I continue to develop myself.

- If I'm not good at something that is important to me, I work at making myself better

- If I'm good at something that I enjoy or is important, I will work to refine it (the ways to refine any skill is virtually endless)

- Life can be unfair, and I will simply make the best what I can

- I've let go of worrying about being embarrassed, and simply try new things, knowing I will learn something

- I work to enrich my life, and that make myself a more interesting person - in the areas that I am interested in...because I enjoy them, it develops my mind, it increases my awareness, it leads me to appreciate others skills sets and others passions, it can develop conversations etc. It enriches my life, and hopefully others as well

- 'Failure' is purely an opportunity to further develop my skills - it doesn't have to be personal. If I don't succeed, I can sit & think about ways to improve. If I can't work it out, I'm happy to just 'try/experiment' and see if that works, and if that doesn't work, then I try another way...each time I learn something new that I can use for the next go (or not use for the next go)

I'm sure it plays out in many other ways.

That is rich coming from you, a person who believes that any exercise of power in a intimate relationship is a matter for the criminal justice system, almost certainly requiring stern retribution to discourage the practice.

What ****? That you should take the responsibility for your own problems, and your life, without blaming anyone else for those problems?

In other words figure out what you want and then go get it. The problem for MJ is that what he says he wants to give to women is not what women tend to want from men, so he is going to have a tough row to hoe. He best figure out what women want, and then adapt, if he really wants to improve his record.

Yes. I think though that Michael thinks it's 'not real' to learn how to interact with women - that it is somehow manipulative or non-genuine...

...whereas my view of this is 'work out who you are, work out what women want...find the common ground, and develop that'

That results in :
- genuineness (which leads to other benefits),
- let's you go after what you want,
- prevents you from putting yourself yourself down,
- you know that your desires have every right to be expressed & pursued (respectfully) etc.
- leads to the knowledge that you don't have to put up with bad behaviour from women
- leads to assertiveness
- leads to patience
- leads to empathy for the other (because you aren't weighted down by bitterness etc, as you have been genuinely yourself, stood up for yourself, and gone after what you wanted)

"- I see those in my life as a reflection of who I am
if someone doesn't like me - it is relvant only as a reflection (tha reflection is cause by both who he/she is, and who I am) and as information. If some aspect of me can be improved while still being fully & genuinely me - and it's important - I will work on developing that part of me...other times their opinions can be irrelevant (if it's simply irrelevant)"

I think I like this, but I'm gona sleep on it. Pretty toasted right now. Goodnight kids!

which gets back to my reading that MJ seems to be a wet behind the ears young lad who made the mistake of taking the feminist lies as truth, and now discovering the truth is not where he believed it was does not know where to turn, and thus he lashes out in anger. Bitterness is always the biggest danger at this point, so lets hope he gets past that.

No, That you dislike men just as much as I dislike women.

I bet you've had some "winners" in your lifetime...

BILLRM is convinced that she is a dyke or at least is asexual, and while she acts like the man hating dyke feminists that I knew well during the mid 80's I am not so sure.

"The problem for MJ is that what he says he wants to give to women is not what women tend to want from men, so he is going to have a tough row to hoe."

Dear Jesus, you are so right hawk eye.

Women only want all the superficial ****. **** being friends, what can you buy me today...?