Can life have meaning if your dreams are unattainable?

There's a thing I found in life that I have never found to be not true -
Any man in a relationship with a woman will work to bring the womans self esteem down to below his own - except when the men involved have a high self esteem. It doesn't seem to hold quite so true the other way around...I'm guessing this has to genetic dispositions.

Self esteem is necessary for overall happiness. Michael has crap for self esteem and overall is so unhappy he is depressed. He can't see what 'self esteem' is. Self esteem is often influenced by others - but we are responsible for it. It's one (but not the only reason) why I think he would be incredibly bad for any woman. Other reasons include the irrational hate, the absolute pessimism, the incredible web of self deception (as evidenced - you could never have a rational discussion with him in these areas), and the innevitable ignoring of every positive and fixation on the smallest thing he can perceive as a negative.

It's not 'men rise up' - it's 'I have a web of lies & blame for my life in my own warped mine...and I think it'll sound better if I make it sound like a crusade' (Michaels issues have nothing at all to do with womens genetic abilities, or any perceived unfairnesses - only he is responsible for his attitude and lot in life)

My ex-husband was that, why did you have to remind me? He hid it till "after" we married, I couldn't even look at a gloss magazine without the word "Slut" come out of his mouth no matter who was on the cover

He hated women, why the heck I didn't see that? IDK, I did after obviously or else he wouldn't be my ex. His Grandmother being manipulative? His first wife leaving for someone else, because she gained weight and he made her go to a gym? Then off course there is money and then the next one, same think, drained his bank account whilst he worked in the mines, she was only a girlfriend and claimed to be bipolar..

But then Michael there are women like me...................who walked and took nothing, didn't blame the ex, felts sorry for him what a life to lead? What a life you are going to have to lead.

BAGGAGE.



Totally agree, which also means loving your self, not up yourself. And, **** happens, water off a ducks back, learn't my lesson, won't go for that "type" again, move on, cause I am worth it, blah blah... He won't get any of that.

"Quote:
Nope I don't have a chance because...

You are a very unappealing and quite emotionally immature person."

Well then it MUST be something I have absolutely NO control over whatsoever, because I was on a role at that party that night. Shocked myself a bit. And the thing was I wasn't even drunk, I had 3 beers all night. I think it was just because I had a good day at work and was in a different environment. I talked to everybody there, had women laughing, and even told a long story about the day I got my dog, didn't stumble with my words, and didn't **** up the punch line!

I even let a woman slap me in the face (long story, we were playing a game with everybody) and made her laugh so hard by my reaction afterwards that she spit her drink out.

Still after all that I sensed no chance or vibe of a chance whatsoever.

So it's impossible even when I give it my all.

"That may be how you choose to live, most people want more in the way of financial security. Money is not only important, it's a necessity of life. Your views regarding money are no more mature than your views on anything else."

I told you before, I've supported myself since I was 17. You yourself told me a marriage is a partnership. I shouldn't have to support her. If I was married and she was OK with making the bills every month, but not having a whole lot of extra beyond that, it would work. If she put in effort, I'd put in effort. Hell, if I really loved her and I really thought she'd stay, I'd probably get an extra job. But the point is with two incomes we'd manage. We'd never be rich, but we'd be OK. In the absence of hope for a partner what incentive is there for me to get another job? I'm getting by on my own.

You and all those other women out there however, when you reference money you're referring to "comfortable" living. Material possessions and bullshit that won't matter when your dead. Extravagant vacations, nice cars, ect.

Lust for money is different than taking care of yourself and your family. I've taken care of myself and my dog through some shitty times. I can get the job done.

What kind of job do expect me to go get? CEO of a bank or something? My degree dictates to a large part what jobs I can get, and what jobs I'm qualified for.

Women love money, they don't love men. It's sick and it's sad.

vikorr:

"It does not control your lot in life...only you are responsible for you."

True but I can't make somebody love me. Without love what difference does the rest of life make? And I worry that real love doesn't exist. It must not if those superficial things are what keeps people together.

Maybe I'd feel different if during times in my life like at that party I got some kind of vibe, like a "maybe" vibe. If I had some encouragement, or even a sliver of hope that I thought I really had a chance, I think I'd feel different.

Hold strong against the evil of devils men.

Don't lose yourself.

Stay strong men.

Michael.

Seven times. You repeat huh.

Yes?

Anyways, how do you know that one didn't go home and tell her girlfriends about you, how funny you were, charming "wished he'd asked for my phone number" ?

You can not assume anything in life.

Alternatively you were the life of the party, you chose to use your skills, talents in making people laugh and they did, you were a success, huge success were you not?

But, was there an ulterior motive ? Like pouncing, winning ? What? You say you want a girlfriend, not a one night stand.. What did not work is you did not at any stage, after making any of them laugh, see one of them of interest to you. You did not state anywhere here, that one in particular you quite liked, would have liked to go out on a date with we will call her ......... she had..........etc, etc.

You talk of a bunch of women you chose to make laugh which "friends" do, then question why none tried to pinch your azz.

WOW really...sorry, there is no way to spin that, you fucked up....

" Don't you think that the women want relationships as much as men do and let's face it, you had a few in your youth that you purely, "used"... don't deny it."

Not one time ever.

"What did not work is you did not at any stage, after making any of them laugh, see one of them of interest to you. You did not state anywhere here, that one in particular you quite liked, would have liked to go out on a date with we will call her "

I would've liked any or all of them.

"You talk of a bunch of women you chose to make laugh which "friends" do, then question why none tried to pinch your azz."

I want a friend first, that's REALLY important to me. That has to be the foundation. And pinch my azz??? Hahahahaha! Ok, that's not what I was looking for but ok, you made me laugh...

If you want a friend get a dog, but if you want some snatch that is a whole nother kettle of fish....

"There's a thing I found in life that I have never found to be not true -
Any man in a relationship with a woman will work to bring the womans self esteem down to below his own - except when the men involved have a high self esteem. It doesn't seem to hold quite so true the other way around...I'm guessing this has to genetic dispositions."

You further prove my point with this statement even though I don't think it's true. Women are allowed to be emotional wrecks and dudes will still go for them. Men with self esteem problems don't have a chance.

Bam.

I already have a dog sir.

Not interested in "snatch", I want a companion who's my friend. I'd still like to **** her, but that is and will always take a backseat to being my friend.

Although you are probably right, but that ALSO furthers my point. Women want alpha males who are excellent games players.

True, but you do realize that you lose massive points for wanting her to be a friend first, right? The best women want men who cant stand to not have them, the friend requirement is piddly ****....,which goes far to explain why you are dealing with the second or third string..

Then you don't have a chance.

If you don't value yourself, no one else will either.

Ok, if you say so.

That of course goes against everything firefly and vikorr have said and makes me more depressed and makes me even more right, but OK.

I guess I want a fantasy that doesn't exist then. Because I dreamt that I lived with a really sexy girl who liked all the same things as me and who I had fun with, and who laughed with me, and who talked about her life with me.

But then I know how that dream ends...

Admit it, you're staying up late just because I piss you off!

Hahaha!

"If you don't value yourself, no one else will either."

I'm trying firefly. I haven't quit my job yet, and I can't even wear a hat anymore...

You don't piss me off. I actually find you pretty boring.

Firefly is a police state advocate utopia builder (AKA a mean spirited idiot) though vikorr is ok.

Where is the passion? DO you want to be her brother or do you want to be her lover,cause you cant be both.

Ya, she left you for someone who lit her fire....

You absolutely hate me@!!

Hahahaha!

It's funny because you "call me out" all the time yet you can't even appreciate the nice things I say.

I don't hate you firefly. I feel sorry for you.

"Quote:

But then I know how that dream ended.
Ya, she left you for someone who lit her fire...."

Incorrect, she left me for an old guy with money.

Try again...

Actually I am correct then. How old are you? You read like a young twerp who bought the feminist propaganda but who has just recently has gained enough life experience to figure out that you have been a gullible idiot...that is about 27 years old...

"though vikorr is ok."

I actually think vikorr is very smart. Misguided, and perhaps a bit brainwashed, but nevertheless very smart. I only wish this thread wouldn't have taken the turn it did due to firefly's advocacy of women having the right to do whatever the **** they want no matter who it hurts, because I think if that hadn't happened, I would've actually gotten more out of what vikorr was saying...

Try again and read the whole thread...