Can life have meaning if your dreams are unattainable?

i would never choose a mate based solely on appearance, i've approached completely ordinary girls because of a book they were reading, or overhearing an interesting conversation, looks is only a part of attraction, and only a shallow person would take it as the only part

To clarify what I said about that list, as Michael so warped it, and to draw a picture as to why I find him so deceitful :


What I said was :

Those are two very different messages...with Michael claiming my list not a list of ways to improve yourself and your life (which at the same time makes you more attractive), but a list of qualities necessary to attract a partner (which any normal person knows that list is not).

So Michael engages in deceit...he claims he can't do anything to better his lot, that he can't do anything to improve his life, that he can't be happy, yadda, yadda, yadda. Every one of these claims is a lie.

Engaging in dialogue with him just allows him to tell more lies - which strengthens his attachment to his system of self deception.

That's an understatement.

He's painted himself into a corner with his attitudes on many things--women, his ability to earn a decent living, his ability to change himself, etc., and he's not about to change any of those attitudes simply because he doesn't want to. He's determined to remain a passive victim and wallow in self pity and his attitudes help to maintain that for him. He creates a self-fulfilling prophecy and then attributes his situation to some external "fate" when it's actually of his own doing.

Forgetting his carping about women for the moment, his attitudes toward earning money seem just as disconnected from reality. He's already said that his "chosen field", whatever that is, will never allow him to live without it being a continuous financial struggle. He already knows he will never be able to pay off his student loans, his current "fun job" doesn't even have medical insurance benefits, and he's about to be unemployed because he's going to move in with his sister in a few months. Probably the last thing he should be preoccupied with right now is a relationship that ended many months ago, and whether he'll get involved in another one. And a good part of what bothers him about himself is that he feels women see him as a financial loser, although he sees himself that way as well. But he doesn't seem to focus realistically on his long-term financial/career future, and his ability to alter that, and his need to improve that, any more than he's able to realistically focus on changing anything else about himself.

I think all his moaning and groaning about women is really the red herring in this thread. His problems with women, and his externalizing blame for those problems onto women, or the expectations of "society", is part and parcel of his general difficulties in living, and his tendencies to externalize blame in all areas where he has difficulty functioning. He views himself as deprived, disadvantaged, and inadequate, and helpless to alter those deficits, or to satisfy his needs. And as long as he rigidly clings to that sense of helplessness, and fails to make active changes, he continues to reinforce that helplessness and confirm it.

All of the excellent advice you have offered to him has all been in the direction of challenging that sense of helplessness, and urging him to take action and assume responsibility for himself--in order to gain control over, and change, his attitudes, his emotional reactions, and his behavior, so he can obtain better outcomes and more satisfaction for himself--in all areas of his life. And he's rejected all of it.

He not only feels entitled to be a victim, something he justifies all over the place, he can't envision not being a victim. His over generalized thinking and his emotional level is very adolescent, like that of a young teen, except that adolescents of that age really have limited freedom and options, and they aren't yet emotionally mature, and that governs their attitudes and how they view things. Although MichaelJ is already an adult in his his early 30's, he continues to think and emotionally react like someone more than half his age. And that's why everyone here keeps telling him to grow up.

I don't doubt, at all, that some of this may stem from the fact that he lost both his parents when he was 12, and that he never finishing processing the resentment and rage and feelings of deprivation associated with that abandonment, and consequently he's still somewhat emotionally fixated at that developmental level. Those are issues he must deal with in therapy, but in his previous treatment, his therapists ran into the same sort of stone wall you have encountered with him, and eventually they gave up. He's not committed to wanting to change because he sees his problems as outside of himself, and beyond his control, rather than within himself, and very much under his control. He's the one who erects all those defensive barriers, and the self defeating attitudes, and he's the only one who can change them. When he was 12, much about his life may have been beyond his control, but, 20 years later, the same is not true, and he's still hanging onto the notion that he's a helpless victim.

I agree with you completely. But nothing that you nor I have said, or could say, will convince MichaelJ of that. If he can't come to that realization for himself, he'll just go on maintaining his victim-hood.

He didn't come here looking for advice--he came here to prove himself right, to confirm his own hopeless outlook. He's already decided he's going to go on crapping up his own life.
.

This man's problems aren't "women". He simply can't function well as an adult in an adult world without hiding under a hat, or drinking to deal with his anxieties and emotions, or constructing all sorts of bullshit arguments to justify his own personal failures and his passivity in addressing them.

For him, marriage is a "dream" because he has no understanding of the realities and complexities of adult human relationships, or what people look for in such relationships, or the inevitable impermanence of most of those relationships. He's still like a high school adolescent bemoaning the fact that the jocks get all the girls, and seeing all those girls as pretty cheerleaders who wouldn't give him a second glance. Mainly he's bemoaning his problems getting laid, he's jealous of the guys who do, and he resents the fact he might have to work at making himself a more appealing partner for someone to become involved with.

His thinking is superficial and shallow. His coping mechanisms and social skills are inadequate, and he does nothing to improve them. His ability to recognize, and consider, and respond to, the needs of the other person in a relationship is poor. And his thinking about the subject of marriage and parenthood doesn't get beyond the "dream" stage of a fantasy about replacing the family he lost when he was 12. He's not looking at either marriage or parenthood through adult eyes, or with much appeciation of what those commitments are about.

So, let him go on drinking, and eventually bump himself off, if that's what he wants to do. It's his life. He has options, he knows he needs professional help, but he'd rather control his life in self destructive ways than put the effort into developing the strengths and capacities to help him function better in all areas of his life. He'd rather see himself as some sort of martyr, and blame it on being a male, to give his victim-hood the false aura of heroic stature, than see that he is the one victimizing himself.

If MichaelJ's life has no meaning for him it's because he chooses to give it no meaning--it has nothing to do with whether "dreams are unattainable". He said he found A2K because he Googled, "Life is a joke". If he feels his life is a joke, and he has no more regard for himself than that, and he'd rather wallow in self pity and drown his sorrows in booze than actually try to improve things for himself, that's his choice too.

I'm rather tired of indulging his pity party, which is how he is using this thread. You and I seem to be giving more time and effort to considering his problems than he bothers to do. If he wants to go on seeing himself as a helpless victim, that's fine with me. It's his life and his choice.

I think that's pretty harsh, telling him to go bump himself off. It's obvious he's in a lot of pain and I don't think it's just because he's bemoaning his problems getting laid. He lost both parents at an early age and he lost two people he placed his trust in. I think he's going about dealing with things wrong, but I certainly don't think he should off himself.

I didn't tell him to go bump himself off. You didn't read what I said very carefully.

I've been telling him all along that I think he needs to get himself professional help.

Trolls never dream, so we don't have that problem.

First of all, thank you linus.

vikorr, the point I was making with those two lists is that women pretty much only have to look good and that's enough for them to attract a man. I didn't say this is MY only requirement, but for men in general that's pretty much all women have to do. And there are all kinds of different things that make women look good, it's not just the skinny ones or the ones with big boobs or whatever other superficial thing you want to pinpoint. It's just women in general, all they have to do is work on making themselves look good or look better and some man will bite.

Men however have a laundry list of requirements they MUST meet in order to attract a mate. It's not YOUR specific list, but it IS a long list. That's the point I was making. All of the things on the list are harder to attain than good looks. Especially accruing money. Not to mention most of the things on the list, such as social status, are things that must be built up and built upon over very long periods of time. If men have circumstances (especially early on in life) that cause them to not get a good start, a solid footing; then achieving these things becomes ridiculously difficult.

Both you vikorr and you firefly seem to think I developed these ideas overnight. When I was in my late teens/early twenties I was a much different person. I was a good looking kid. I worked out 5 days a week, I was in great shape. I had a much more positive outlook on life, I had hope. I tried new things more. I also had a positive net worth, a few thousand dollars I'd saved up. Even with all those things going for me, I still couldn't get the girl. And it was very much almost like a sadistic torture kind of thing because girls would frequently notice me and take interest, but then when they got to see that I wasn't mr. smooth guy with everything perfect to say/do, they'd pass me over for somebody else. Because women are impossible!!!! It really doesn't matter how hard I try, but there have been times in my life where I tried very, very hard.

Firefly, that you focus SO much on my ability to earn money, and because you're a woman further proves my point on how much women love money. All the ways you focus on money make me feel sad as a human being.

I've decided I'm not moving, at least not for awhile. I love my job too much. I REALLY miss my sister, but I'm not ready to leave my job.

And here's the thing about my career field : The highest my annual salary could be if I was at the top of my field would only be half of what my total loans are. And of course there are all kinds of other expenses I have: car, gas, food, housing, electric, phone, internet, insurance, ect, ect. It's mathematically impossible for me to overcome that debt. Now if you're telling me I should go do something else for a career, screw you! I didn't work my ass off through 5 1/2 years of school so that I could do the kind of work I did before college. I like my job, it's something I want to do. I think any woman that would love me should want me to be doing something I enjoy. I shouldn't have to give up what I like to do for someone else.

I'm getting semi used to not wearing a hat at work now. I still feel ugly, but I'm dealing with it. Working on accepting myself, ugly eyes and all.

Oh of course I'm "emotionally stunted", yep I'm a 12 year old in a 33 year old's body. Bullseye! ...Bullshit. I've done things in my life that I couldn't have ever done if I had the emotional maturity of a 12 year old, things that DID include having an adult relationship with a woman for over 5 years. Yeah it ended shitty, but I bet if I "had no understanding of the realities and complexities of adult human relationships, or what people look for in such relationships", it wouldn't have lasted even half that long. Women are hard to please, and that one was VERY hard to please.

"the inevitable impermanence of most of those relationships."

So me as a person who my ENTIRE life has wanted more than just sex, has wanted a real friendship with a woman I could love; I only get the relationships that aren't permanent. Whereas Mary Poppins, who's slept with more people than most people twice her age, who spent her college years as the town jizz jar; she gets to have a marriage??? A permanent relationship????

No you're completely right. I shouldn't be bitter about that at all.

"He's still like a high school adolescent bemoaning the fact that the jocks get all the girls, and seeing all those girls as pretty cheerleaders who wouldn't give him a second glance."

Why is that the stereotype firefly, huh???? Why is it that when people picture pretty cheerleaders, they also picture them only going for the jocks???? ...It's because women are attracted to social status! That's superficial, but no one looks down at women in society for being that way. Women DO NOT go for regular guys.

I know I need to be positive or at least fake positivity convincingly for my friends and family. I love them, and I could never repay the kindness and friendship they've given me. I willing to do anything to make the most of the time I have left with them. I know in my heart that I will eventually fail. I'm not long for this world. I know this deep down, because I know I cannot live indefinitely in the absence of hope for my dreams.

I'm going to run anyway. I'm going to run as far as I can get. I guess I'm thinking of it kinda like 'The Grinch who stole christmas'. I won't let the evil devil succubus that are women win by turning me into an ugly person. Even though women/devils stole my christmas tree, all my gifts, and my roast beast; I'm still gonna sing anyway. I'm gonna sing my heart out for my family and friends for as long as I can bear to do it.

"And there must have been some reason she was attracted to him at all in the first place."

I really hope so. I think she was just using me though. That's what she does, she's never been single in her life. She goes from one person to the next. I would love to think I meant something to her, but I don't think I did.

Thank you for your kind words though.

"He's still like a high school adolescent bemoaning the fact that the jocks get all the girls, and seeing all those girls as pretty cheerleaders who wouldn't give him a second glance."

"Why is that the stereotype firefly, huh???? Why is it that when people picture pretty cheerleaders, they also picture them only going for the jocks???? ...It's because women are attracted to social status! That's superficial, but no one looks down at women in society for being that way. Women DO NOT go for regular guys."

There was an awesome comedian who died in the 1990's named Bill Hicks, and one of his routines was about women. He talked about the mass murderer Ted Bundy, and how even though he had killed a whole LOT of women; when he was on trial for those murders the courtroom was filled to the brim with women who wanted to give him love letters and propose marriage to him!

That's how big social status is to women.

Women are sickening...

Michael - let me put it this way - I'm happy to lend thoughts to anyone looking to better their life - but this is NOT what you are doing. Your WHOLE posts are directed at excusing your lack of success, at saying why you are not responsible, yadda, yadda, yadda. Well, guess what - you ARE responsible.

Your attitude is sickening. Your pathetic false claims to victimhood are sickening (you are NOT a victim). Your whine, whine, whine, whine poor me bullshit is sickening. Your hate is sickening.

You whine constantly about genetic predispositions which you nor anyone else can do anything about ...in this you are utterly wasting your breath.

You try your damnest NOT to make the best of your life, whining incestantly about powerlessness - which is a complete & utter lie, and pathetic.

In relation to women - you could LEARN to be smooth. You could LEARN to be a seducer. You could LEARN to be interesting. You could LEARN to be popular - you choose not to. DON"T BLAME YOUR LAZINESS ON OTHERS.

I will not get involved in a debate with you about genetic predispositions.

You wonder why people attack you, and can't see how much of an anethma your attitude is to people. It is ugly & repulsive, and you choose to nurture it like a valuable creature - but it is a succubus to you...a soul leach.

Seriously - do you not see how much your false victimhood, whiny mentallity would piss a quadraplegic person off...you who HAVE A CHANCE, but choose squander it?

Can you not see how YOUR DECISION to not do anything while whining that you can't do anything is entirely pathetic? You whine, but don't want to even attempt to fix things.

You see SO MANY happy people, SO MANY men who have success...but you BLAME your lack of success on women...it's BULLSHIT - you can learn. YOU CHOOSE NOT TO. If you want blame (and really it's about responsibility)...grow and and take responsibility for your life.

Your success & failure in any aspect of life IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

Blame on someone else does not exist. You choose how you respond to any event in your life, not others. You choose how to go about success or failure, not others. You choose each action the generates a reaction, not others. you choose everything you do in life, and it is your actions that dictate your success or failure...it is ENTIRELY your responsibility.

Every other point is moot...YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LIFE. You are responsible for the friendships you have. You are responsible for the relationships you have (or lack of them)...no one else - Just YOU.

The only thing left to say is : Start taking responsibility for your life, and stop blaming others. Improve your life. Make the most of it. As I've said many times previously - this is your choice, your life, your responsibilty...and within your power to change

I noted you keep stating you "love" your job, people would die for it, arts, entertainment.

I left Hospitality at dada (31) married at 36.. Still not a bad looking (woman) at 48, bottom line is those Industries are toxic, you don't meet the right people to settle down with... I don't know exactly what you do, I've tried to locate it, but I'm betting it's a people's Industry of sorts, odd hours, long hours, great to party, great to make alot of friends, no good for finding a soul mate.

If that is right, then maybe she left because she never really got to see you, time wise as well as "you"... You don't find yourself in those Industries, it's party, party until you wake up.

I woke up, Management was great fun, the rest wasn't if I wanted to find someone to spend my life with.. No shortages but you know, too hard on them time wise, weekends, etc.

If that is right, then maybe you should stop as people are saying feeling sorry for yourself and stop, saying you will not leave your job, and wake up and realise that it's your job you are married to, that's why you can't and won't find anyone.

And we women are not sickening, you are bitter, get over it, you have a lot of time on your hands, you are still young... I doubt you are ugly either, rather bitter and now insecure.

"In relation to women - you could LEARN to be smooth"

I shouldn't have to be smooth. I should be able to go into things with a good attitude and be myself. That's all ANY man should ever have to do. It's certainly all women have to do. Women don't have to be smooth, why should men have to?

"You could LEARN to be a seducer"

I don't want to be a seducer. I want to be with only one person. I don't feel any need to to fornicate with as women as it's humanly possible. Sex isn't the only component to what I'm looking for. I'm not like that, never have been.

"You could LEARN to be interesting."

I actually think I am pretty interesting, and I do have some friends so somebody else must think so too.

"You could LEARN to be popular - you choose not to. DON"T BLAME YOUR LAZINESS ON OTHERS."

First of all I'm not concerned with popularity contests. I prefer people who are REAL. I wouldn't ever want to worry about not speaking my mind because somebody else might not like it. And I also think women who speak their minds freely are attractive.

Second, you're confusing laziness with not giving a ****. I don't give a **** anymore. I've done the go-getting, trying hard thing and it doesn't work.

Bill Hicks also has a bit about people who jog and people who smoke and drink and do drugs. His point is that in the end they all die, except the people who smoke and drink and do drugs have more fun. I'm not going to work hard at something that only sucks my money dry, wastes my time, and frustrates me by denying me success.

"Seriously - do you not see how much your false victimhood, whiny mentallity would piss a quadraplegic person off...you who HAVE A CHANCE, but choose squander it?"

I DON'T have a chance. All the empirical evidence accrued over the past 33 years has proven this. You can't tell me that trying hard works when my 21 year old self was experiencing the same EXACT frustrations that I'm experiencing now. The only difference is that now instead of worrying about burning calories and keeping my heart rate up, I'm getting drunk and doing recreational things.

"You whine, but don't want to even attempt to fix things."

Absolute rubbish. I've tried more times than I can count. Repeated failures are evidence that success is not an option. When you've tried, and tried, and tried, you can only take so many failures before you give up. It's like if you're 4 feet tall and can't jump worth crap. Chances are likely that you can try all you want to get into the NBA, but's it's never going to happen.

I was at a work party last night. There were quite a few attractive women there. I couldn't have been in a more positive and engaging mood. I dare say I even got a few good belly laughs out people. But I still had no chance whatsoever with any of those women. Despite the fact that SEVERAL of them share many things in common with me (Some were even near my age! Oh my God!), and I'm able to carry on good banter with most of them .

"You see SO MANY happy people, SO MANY men who have success...but you BLAME your lack of success on women...it's BULLSHIT"

I'm certainly not the only one who feels this way about these things. There are many, many MichaelJ's out there. Many men tyrannized by the inequality of the sexes. By the evil of women.

Even the men who have achieved these things are still paying a price. They still have to jump through hoops they don't want to and shouldn't have to for their women. They still have to put up with nagging. They still have have to foot up to that huge list of requirements that dwarf's the list of requirements of their partner. They still have to worry if their woman is going to pull a voodoo magic act and leave them out of the blue on a whim...

The bottom line is that nothing can ever give me back all the years I was forced to be alone. Nothing can ever make up for the image of my fiance in bed with another man. Nothing can ever make me 26 again and actually getting married and getting to enjoy both being married and possibly being a dad while I was still young and youthful.

My job is in the television news industry. It's not just partying, it's a lot of hard work, but I also get to do and see different things everyday. Things most people don't get to. It's a blast!

The hours are odd, but us not seeing each other had nothing to do with why things didn't work. She's in an odd industry as well, fancy's herself an artist. It's part of why I fell for her so hard. I have my own artistic endeavors and aspirations too. She even encouraged me to follow those (even though they'd likely lead to even less money).

I have to keep this job or something like it, at least for awhile. It's a very impressive resume builder. People respond very enthusiastically when I tell them the names of my past two employers.

"you are still young... I doubt you are ugly either, rather bitter and now insecure. "

I don't think I'm young at all, but most of that stems from what I feel I've missed in life, and continue to miss. There's just some steps that build on each other, some successes people need in order to maintain a thirst to want to try more. There are specific things about me Mary Poppins reacted to in a way that certainly made me feel ugly. Like my skin's pretty oily. It's a genetic thing, nothing I can do about it, but she said something about it to me one day, it really hurt.

"And we women are not sickening"

Women are the most beautiful things in creation, but they DO sicken me. I'm very sorry.

MichaelJ

I must say that I've followed this thread for rather an odd reason. Which is to see how many times you can "yes, but .. you're wrong" to perfectly good advice.

It seems to me that you have received excellent free on-line counseling.
But none of it matters, or makes any difference to you, does it?

Because you're not really looking for advice, or support (unless anyone actually agrees with your sad views), or anything like that. You are looking for a safe platform to express your misogynist views. Not much more, that I can see.

You know, for a while there I thought you might be one of this site's well-known misogynists, who uses a similar posting style to yours (endless repetition of his personal views, total disregard of anyone else's counter-views & a determination to post endlessly (!)... relentlessly! )

Who knows who you actually are & whether your problems are actually real or not? ... but me, I believe you are playing a game here. And you are stringing out that game out for all it's worth.

In other words: you are not looking for any "good advice", or solutions, at all.
NOTHING will change your women-hating attitudes.
And you are not remotely interested in any contributions that could.
You just want to express your hatred of women.

Does this sound like I believe you are posting here under false pretenses?
Yep. You got it!

See, Michael.

I was and still am a very career orientated person.. So are you.

The celebrities I met and the celebrities you have met, has certainly made it exciting and I worked very hard to, Management isn't easy.. I'm also artistic, creative and have a flair.. And, to work so hard for so many years and leave it behind to find love? Yep, almost an impossibility.

You have to broaden your mind.

I get that you love it, I get that it's exciting, challengable, hard, and I get that the hours are odd, I do think that not seeing each other did play a part in it, I'd bet my life on it, I should know, I was where you are.

But, also it's honestly possible that you chose the wrong person.. Anyone that is taunting, cruel in their words in a partner situation honestly, isn't a good partner.

I'd say she had too much freedom and not enough love in her heart to share it with someone, full time.. Like you said, she goes onto the next one. But, then she also kept odd hours and was arty, see the pattern?

I found it hard to settle down as well, had relationships naturally, was a tad naughty sometimes as you would But, finding a soul mate? Someone that would be faithful, care, be there, share, laugh with ? Nup.. Wasn't going to happen in that type of an industry.

You have choices. Realise you are not old and quit telling yourself you are. I'm like I said 48 act 36, hope that I look 36 although somedays way not You chose career.
You love your career.

Best way to share it is to fall in love and let her live with you so she sees you.

Don't look for a party girl, look for a quiet one that wants what you do, honestly, love and happiness... At some point your career should turn into still heavy duty work, but flexible hours. Or, honestly, get out of it. She said it.. That indicates to me there wasn't enough time. Alone time, bonding time, you may have felt love but we women are different, emotionally we need more.

Sit down and re-play it all in your mind, like a video. You'll probably see she had way too much freedom and not enough bonding... And too much time with other people just in her own world, job that she drifted. It's not all that bad.

What it is, is an eye opener.. Now you know, closure.

Love your job, your career. Find a way to ensure you can still give 100% to your woman and in that, that woman loves to wait for you, can't wait to see you but there is an understanding and unity. Find a way to get out more. If you were good looking once you still are. And, find a way to put reality into your life. View your career and where it is destroying you, see if it can be adjusted.

Because it's your career that is stopping you from finding love.

Like I said.

If you don't feel you are young at all, from what you've been missing all your life can you not SEE therefore, you chose career? That's a choice. That's where this is at.

Like I also said, I got out at 31 I am now a Real Estate Agent, own it, with some property management and a show of makeovers of accessories so it all looks good, hire or buy.. I struggle every single month but you know what? I love it too, more than any job I did. And, I see my fiance enough because I make sure I make the time, I can choose time and our bond is beautiful... Had I stayed like you? I'd be where you are at 48.

Have a think

Msgola - I feel silly - you are quite right. I pointed that out myself several times, but seem to have forgotten it.

Michael talks about preferring real, but all he has of himself is a life built on self deception and lack of self-responsibility. I will finally take my own advice.

Personally, while I don't regret offering advice/thoughts to people - I do regret that I should be sucked into continuing to post in reply to Michaels abhorrent games - after it became obvious what he was doing.

We all fall for our own weaknesses at times

I don't know if it's games and I love MsOlga she is a woman I admire.

I think though that it's selfishness of ones desires, career and if women don't fit in, it's their fault if they stray, anger sets in, they are horrible, without the realisation of what is NOT being given, time, bonding, love, consequently, he lost and will continue to lose.

He's married already..

To his job.

No, you shouldn't feel silly at all, vikorr.
If MichaelJ was genuine, your patient, ongoing advice to him was excellent.

I really hope other people in his real or imaginary circumstances paid attention to you. Because they would have received good advice, too. Second hand. At no cost.

And that's the good thing that might come from threads like this. (Whether they are genuine or not) Other people read them, too.

Hi Msgola

There is always that.

Hi Foundsoul

Michaels posts are games to him because, as I pointed out many times - a lot of his posts aren't designed to seek help, understand, seek further information, or anything positive - they are designed to help strengthen his belief system. It's a system that doesn't stand up to any logic (logic dictates that you acknowledge the positives too), any balance, or any sense of self responsibility...ie. it is an incredibly blind, negative & hateful belief system that doesn't hold water - and doesn't hold any happiness in it either (hopefully he has other belief systems that he hasnt expressed that allow him some happiness). In order for him to keep believing in it, he has to continually reinforce it...that's what his posts are designed to do - gather more information...from which he without fail ignores any positive & fixates on anything he can interpret as a negative or twist into a negative...that sort of continuous systematicbehaviour designed to generate responses & outcomes for an other than claimed purpose, is game playing (some games have good purposes - this one doesn't)

It's quite possible that none of his posts have been for the reason of 'seeking help', though that is not really certain.


As I said to michael, and it is the only thing that ever matters in the end :


We are all, entirely responsible for our own lives.

You are completely wrong.

Except for the part about me hating women. I do hate women. I also love women. My sister is my best friend in the world. I'm under no false pretense that she's not female. I have several female friends, and co-workers who I respect and admire because of the attributes they posses.

It's the dual nature of something that causes such intense feelings.

"Who knows who you actually are & whether your problems are actually real or not?"

I've actually been probably too personal with what I've said. I'm exactly who I've purported to be. I do welcome advice. I do think about what's said. that's why I agreed that I needed to be more positive or at least fake happiness in my attitude for my friends/family. Not that I necessarily tell them outright that I'm not happy, but my actions and lack of energy, and lack enthusiasm say it for me. I think improving myself was good advice on the part of both vikorr and firefly. I want to change things, I wish I could do more. The day after my birthday when I found out about Mary Poppins engagement I actually tried to check myself into the hospital. I'd been drinking alot and I really wanted to die, I knew I was going to try to hurt myself that night. But I also wanted to try to help myself. I didn't want to die. (see it's that dual natured thing, like loving/hating women). It's the same with life, you love AND hate it.

You can call me a misogynist all you want. The sad fact is that women can get away with hating and stereotyping men all they want, AND oppressing men all they want and most people don't even know that there's a mirror image to the word misogynist and it's called misandry.


Women shouldn't get special privileges in society. I'd have no problems with women if society made them play by the same rules as men.