Internet dating is bad for relationships

Are you sure it's not the other way around, kickycan?

We've had male posters here complaining that women don't want to make a commitment.

I think it can go either way.

Internet dating's just the newest way of meeting people who you wouldn't run into on a day to day basis. Nothin' really new in it.

I think most men want closeness and intimacy, with one reliable and committed partner. This not being available in our mobile society, they act out their fantasies with superficial sexual relationships, constantly "proving" that they really do have human contact in their lives.

For those men who refuse to engage in fantasy relationships, the internet is perhaps the *only* recourse. To find a compatible, healthy, real relationship one must go far beyond the bar scene. The internet gives one the chance to consciously think about and create ones' ideal relationship, rather than settling for a string of pretense and superficiality.

More choices means we can be more selective and discerning. And therefore more successful and deeply connected. It makes the one-in-a-million "right" person actually available.

That's what I think.

Re: Internet dating is bad for relationships


Well, I had the option of an endless stream of casual sex without a lifelong commitment. I still chose a lifelong commitment. Many other men I know have made the same choice.

People should be free to choose the type of life they want to live. There are advantages (for men) to a lifelong relationship. (Of course the endless stream of casual sex isn't so bad either).

I don't think the internet changes anything.

I also don't think that allowing people to live the way that makes them happiest is such a bad thing. You seem to be suggesting we should make men conform to the way you think things should be.

Let's let people do what want. Some men and some women will choose to live lives of wild sexual abandon, but many others will choose to pair up and life will go on.

Hey, I was robbed ! ! !

Where the hell's my endless stream of casual sex ? ! ? ! ?

Setanta, don't worry! It's out there on the internet for the taking! ehbeth and smiley, you guys seem to be doubting my idea that men don't want long-term relationships. I'm saying that men have a natural tendency to want a variety of women. Bill Maher says sometimes, "Men are only as faithful as their options." While I don't believe that is true in all cases, I do believe that for the overwhelming majority of men, let's not kid ourselves, that is absolutely the case. And if you had ever joined an internet dating site, you would see that it definitely plays into that mentality. There's always another one waiting somewhere online, and once guys realize that they don't have to conform to commitment-minded women, they won't. It's just a trend I see, not a personal judgment.

I'm saying that, in my observations, there are as many women, as men, if not more, who want that constant stream of casual dating and/or sex.

I think you've actually identified that yourself - in - there's always another one waiting somewhere online.



and ... if you follow the relationships forum here, you'll find men, more often than women, asking for help in developing and maintaining relationships. It's been interesting to watch.

I still ain't got no satifactory answer to my legitimate request to know where my stream of casual sex is . . .

eBeth, you ain't seen no ladies linin' up out front, has ya?

I think internet dating represents a relatively small microcosm of the dating world. If you consider how many people are actually connected to the internet and of those how many are in the dating sphere and of those how many hook up with a dating service online, they really don't represent the norm in the dating world. From what I've seen on these dating sites (yup, I've looked but never joined), there seem to be a disproportionate number of men to women. And just because they are on there saying they want a casual relationship doesn't mean they are getting one. True?

In my opinion the trend you are noticing isn't due to the "true nature of men" that you allude to but likely the reputation that internet dating is getting. It's far easier for a married man looking to cheat to misrepresent himself online than it would be in real life. How easy would it be for him to find someone from another city without the internet? When you have someone in a different location it's far easier to get away with lies.

Just my opinion.

OH MY GOD ! ! !


[size=7]i've been outed[/size]

you thought i didn't know? [/b]

Hey Girl, go look at the latest contribution (by Phoenix) to the funny pix thread--you'll love it.

funny pix thread? don't know about such a creature.

'k


be right back


look at the bottom of this page[/b][/color], and look at the piccie with the kitties . . .

Found it. Thanks, lad.
Of course, now I want a puppy. Again.

Setanta: *LOL*

[size=7]just don't tell eBeth, 'k?[/size]

Too late cowboy!

hehehehehe


She called Setanta "cowboy".


Giddyap!

Did I, uh, stumble across something here?

Don't tell me! I don't wanna know. It may just confirm the image I have in my head. And as long as I don't know, I can deny it.

Denial can be a wonderful place to exist!