10
   

Should I be the bearer of bad news or wait ?

 
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Oct, 2011 06:43 pm
The OP sounds very young or naive or both, Chai. And very skewed in her thinking (that a baby would stop him from cheating). Not worth my 2 cents on the matter.
JTT
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Oct, 2011 06:50 pm
@Mame,
Quote:
Not worth my 2 cents on the matter.


Weigh in on weightier matters then, Mame.

http://able2know.org/topic/178150-1
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Sun 2 Oct, 2011 07:00 pm
@JTT,
I'm not much into American political rhetoric. Or politics in general. Doesn't matter who's in power or for how long or what's done while they're there... it all gets undone or improved or worsened, does it not? And four years later along will come along someone else with their agenda and the whole undoing, improving, worsening will happen again. So, why get agitated about it? And when you think about time in geological terms, 100 yrs is a blip... 1000 yrs is a blip... a speck on the horizon. Some people think they can make a difference, some people do make a difference. I'm not either of those. I'm almost completely indifferent and I love being in this space. I Don't Care. And I don't have to. There are many others who are better at flag-waving or flag-stomping than me. Let them at it.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Oct, 2011 07:21 pm
@Mame,
Mame wrote:

The OP sounds very young or naive or both, Chai. And very skewed in her thinking (that a baby would stop him from cheating). Not worth my 2 cents on the matter.


Correct mame.

Is it this weekend you're coming?
What day?
PM me please.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Oct, 2011 07:24 pm
@chai2,
I will PM you, my love, but I am coming on the 13th and leaving on the 18th. Your (step) daughter will be there, from what I recall. You must have been listening to Shewolf because she asked what time I was arriving on the 6th. Alas... it's a week later. But not late enough for that trailer park hoo-haw you posted about, dammit.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Oct, 2011 07:32 pm
@Mame,
http://able2know.org/topic/174666-3- check it out, both of youse.

It said this: Hey, so Oct 13 - 18 I'll be there So looking forward to this!!
0 Replies
 
JTT
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Oct, 2011 08:05 pm
@Mame,
Quote:
I'm not much into American political rhetoric.


It's not about politics, Mame. It's not about flag stompin'.

It's about people with power murdering, maiming, raping and torturing innocents, stealing their wealth so they can have a bigger car, a bigger house, more parties. It's about poor innocents having all these things done to them.

It's really not at all different, in a moral sense, than women being raped, children being used for porn or pleasure, families murdered, but when these things happen in western nations, people get upset. Why the difference?

Finn dAbuzz
 
  3  
Reply Sun 2 Oct, 2011 08:15 pm
@lisa1471,
I don't know what you should do but I can relate a similar story from my life.

We must have been somewhere around 20 years of age, and we lived in the same apartment complex of a couple who had attended HS with us and who got married because the girl has got pregnant.

"Beth, "the wife was a close friend of my wife, and had been a close friend of the girl I dated before marrying my wife. So I knew Beth for some time, and she was one of my least favorite people.

"Dan," the husband was new to our HS in our Senior year and became one of my friends. He was a complicated guy and someone who if you didn't like, you probably couldn't stand.

Dan was mad for Beth and delighted when they married. Beth was always looking for the romantic stranger to come nto her life and sweep her away (for a little while she thought this was Dan).

Dan beamed thought the wedding ceremony and Beth sobbed uncontrollably.

They had a son who was a cute as could be, and who seemed to keep them tied together for the first two years.

Shortly after her son's 2nd birthday, Beth started an affair with someone she had met in college.

I know she regets it to this day, but my wife told me about the affair after Beth confided in her.

That night we visited Dan and Beth in their apartment as we did on most weekends.

We smoked a couple of joints and drank some wine. I felt good, but not intoxicated.

At some point in the evening, the subject of extra-marital affairs came up. I honestly can't remember who brought it up and in what context, but eventually the subject turned to what you would do if you knew your friends's spouse was having an affair.

My wife and I talked about that evening quite bit thereafter but neither of us recall how the topic turned to the subject of this thread. We both thought it was entirely possible that Dan had steered it there, but couldn't say with certainty.

In any case, the conversation lasted about 45 minutes or so, during which I expressed the very emphatic postion that if I knew my friend's wife was cheating on him I would tell him, because I would want him to tell me if the roles were reversed.

We didn't leave for another couple of hours, but when we did, I thought my wife was going to kill me. It actually took me a little while to figure out what she was mad about. As unbelieveable as it may seem, I truly was not thinking about Beth's affair when we discussed the subject earlier. It really never crossed my mind.

Needless to say, Beth would not have bought that and what she heard was me threatening to spill the beans to Dan, if she did not. Soon after we left their apartment she confessed. My wife thought that was my intent as well, but I can only tell you it was not.

Dan and I never discussed the topic...not ever, and so I have no idea of what he thought I was up to or whether or not he appreciated it.

I can tell you though that the revelation that night not only led to the rapid decline and end of their marriage, but it has a terrible impact on him. Dan was always a very cocky guy and it was this aspect of his personality that a lot of people disliked in him. I always found that he could easily make fun of himself and so it didn't bother me.

However, when he found about Beth, the insecurity that apparently drove his bravado mushroomed and he became insufferable. He lost most of his friends and, eventually, I stopped seeing him.

Again, I was not concious of what I was apparently doing that night, and so I can't say I would change anything that happened, but based on the result I can say that in a similar situation, in which my sub-concious hadn't taken control of my brain, I would not have told the betrayed spouse what was going on.

I have no idea which is the best path to follow, as I'm sure if I had not forced Beth's hand, and she had kept up her affair I would have been livid every time I saw them and realized she was decieving him.

For whose sake do you tell the betrayed spouse?



0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sun 2 Oct, 2011 08:17 pm
@JTT,
Read some history. These atrocities have been going on since man walked. It's who we are. Nothing new here. What's your point?
JTT
 
  -2  
Reply Mon 3 Oct, 2011 02:54 pm
@Mame,
Quote:
What's your point?


Sampling of Deaths >From US Military Interventions & Propping Up Corrupt
Dictators (using the most conservative estimates)
Nicaragua
30,000 dead

Brazil
100,000 dead

Korea
4 million dead

Guatemala
200,000 dead

Honduras
20,000 dead

El Salvador
63,000 dead

Argentina
40,000 dead

Bolivia
10,000 dead

Uruguay
10,000 dead

Ecuador
10,000 dead

Peru
10,000 dead

Iraq
1.3 million dead

Iran
30,000 dead

Sudan
8-10,000 dead

Colombia
50,000 dead

Panama
5,000 dead

Japan
140,000 dead

Afghanistan
10,000 dead

Somalia
5000 dead

Philippines
150,000 dead

Haiti
100,000 dead

Dominican Republic
10,000 dead

Libya
500 dead

Macedonia
1000 dead

South Africa
10,000 dead

Pakistan
10,000 dead

Palestine
40,000 dead

Indonesia
1 million dead

East Timor
1/3-1/2 of total population

Greece
10,000 dead

Laos
600,000 dead

Cambodia
1 million dead

Angola
300,000 dead

Grenada
500 dead

Congo
2 million dead

Egypt
10,000 dead

Vietnam
1.5 million dead

Chile
50,000 dead

http://able2know.org/topic/160696-1
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Oct, 2011 02:56 pm
So what's your point? Didn't you read what I wrote?
JTT
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Oct, 2011 03:03 pm
@Mame,
Of course I did, Mame. I find it surprising that you can dismiss so many millions of innocent lives with such bluster.
kuvasz
 
  2  
Reply Mon 3 Oct, 2011 05:34 pm
@lisa1471,
Keep your ******* mouth shut. It is none of your goddamned business.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Oct, 2011 08:06 pm
Stay out of it. If the wife hasn't caught on in 3 years, she isn't going to get it later, either.

But . . . How much do you want to bet the wife doesn't know about this dude and is hoping that this baby will make him come to his senses.

Good luck on that one.

lisa1471
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Oct, 2011 01:56 pm
@PUNKEY,
Ok you mean do know about the dude.. because we already feel she don't know that's the whole thing..Your right the baby was planned and we feel maybe she want to make a family keep him near.I have put my hands down I'm out of it though...I have to sit back and see what happens.Since the baby was planned we felt he helped plan it to he's so happy when we speak of this pregnancy.So we not so sure..Thanks!
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  2  
Reply Tue 4 Oct, 2011 03:04 pm
@JTT,
Why do you find it so surprising? And what bluster? I have explained my position on the matter in clear, calm terms. I have no interest in reading or learning more about it because I have absolutely no interest in doing anything about it. I don't think it's a big deal, at least, no bigger than when Atilla the Hun and Ghengis Khan roamed the planet, or when the Vikings, Spanish, Portuguese, British, etc. marauded around killing, raping, maiming thousands. Why is it so different now?

As I've said elsewhere, several times, here - I don't believe we should be interfering in other countries' business. Yes, a lot of things aren't "right", but you're never going to get everyone on the same page. Who are we to act like Jesuits - promoting our POV, our religions, our way of life over theirs, saying they're wrong and we're right? And I believe that even if we somehow did manage the impossible - to make everything 'right' - it wouldn't last very long and soon there'd be more reasons to get involved to 'help'. It'd be an ongoing enterprise.

Who would you suggest I help and how? The poor (where would I start?)? The victimized (raped Rwandan women, for example)? The 'oppressed' (Arabian women)? People who don't get to vote? Orphaned children (Romania comes to mind)? What about the poor, the hungry, the victimized and oppressed in my own country? I have a greater desire to help my own people first.

If YOU want to help, go for it. I don't. Simple as that. So stop lecturing and hectoring me.
JTT
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Oct, 2011 03:12 pm
@Mame,
Quote:
Who are we to act like Jesuits - promoting our POV, our religions, our way of life over theirs, saying they're wrong and we're right?


But you make it clear that you can say it without ever saying anything. Are you afraid of offending your "friends"? Will this put a stop to your visits, will you be required to stop rubbing elbows?

It doesn't take a Jesuit to recognize the deep immorality of which I speak and you avoid like the plague.

Quote:
If YOU want to help, go for it. I don't. Simple as that. So stop lecturing and hectoring me.


You have the right to express your opinion, and you have been doing so. I have that same right.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Oct, 2011 03:12 pm
@Mame,
Ghengis Khan was kick ass.
I admire him.
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Oct, 2011 03:14 pm
@chai2,
If his mother brought home sweetheart soap, he would have gone over burnt the factory down.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Tue 4 Oct, 2011 03:17 pm
@Mame,
Mame, honey, you are falling for the pitch in a thread that has nothing to do with JTT's million posts crusade.


Sorry, Lisa, responding to a tangent (welcome to a2k, by the way).

I agree you should keep your mouth shut. One usually learns that the hard way, but kuvasz is right too, though harsh, that this is their business.

I can see rescues sometimes, but not at this level.
 

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