OKAY.....here again...did i ever say i am never speaking to him again? don't recall having said that. being pissed at someone does not mean that i'm kicking him out of the family...
don't be sorry for being str8 4ward...but be right about it when you do.
Sorry, but you sure sounded like you wanted to.
no way, certainly not. I love his stinking butt...
onyx - perfectly said:
Quote:I love his stinking butt...
That made me laugh out loud!
Love the brother...hate the stinking butt.
Ony I understand how you feel. People like to say that it is self centered for you to have wanted a wedding for the family. In all reality it is more selfish for him and her or him or her to want a wedding just for themselves.
Everyone was planning this great wedding for my aunt to her husband who I did not like at all. 0 liking. Not one bit. All her nephews were going to be in the wedding and so forth. Well they plan just to go before a judge. Some family was there to see it but it was very painful for us nephews because none of us were there.
He was selfish and so was his wife. I know this because had he told you before hand that that was what he was doing I am sure it would not have been so painful as it was when he just did it. But he didn't even have the decency to tell you that he was going to get married. whose ever idea that was was the evil one. I understand wanting to just get married and have it done, but not to tell any one that is the plan that is so they can have it their way without anyones say. And it is their life but the majority of people like to celebrate such things and to ignore that fact is selfish and rude and inconsiderate and should make you mad.
I agree you should have a party to invite her into the family and if she still doesn't want to come that will set some doubt in his mind. But after that you should always have family gatherings and invite them. Even if it is a day away or two weeks call and invite them. Leave a message. If you do this often enough I am sure he will get the picture that she is trying to keep him away.
Which is what my aunts husband did. He didn't let her see her family but she didn't notice it. They had a child and end up divorcing after five years. I never liked him. And I still don't. He doesn't even know how to drive. My aunt had to drive herself to the hospital when she was in the process of contractions. How selfish is that? He couldn't even learn to drive during that nine months to drive her there.
Everyone loves to take the side of the person that cannot defend themselves-afraid they don't get all the information. But I am on your side Ony. You have the right to be mad at your brother and dislike his wife for her "influence" over him driving there. You know him and know weather or not he is being controlled into those decisions.
Just started reading my Feb 2004 issue of Toronto Fashion (no, I don't subscribe, really, it's part of another subscription)
The Love Issue
feature article : The Look of Love. A heart-to-heart with Canada's most intriguing couples. (i'm still trying to find an on-line link, so excuse any typos)
Jennifer Dares and Harold Madi : Together 15 years, married 13 years.
How they met ...
Why he's psychic ...
Funny Fact : Their parents didn't know they were married until year nine.
I've got an online friend who didn't find out he had a new sister-in-law for about a year. He seemed to be o.k. with it. Maybe a little amused. Definitely pleased.
I guess it's all a matter of perspective if hearing a few days late means anything.
Those are not close families. How can you be close and not share?
I think I'd rather not judge whether families are close based on just one or two pieces of information. But that's only my preference.
Onyxelle, good luck. Deep breathes are the best possible advice. I hope things work out so that you can be close again.
{{{{{ONYXELLE}}}}}
If the parents only find out that their child is married by year nine--they are not close.
Update:
I talked to brother & he apologized for doing it that way. He DID however tell me that I would just have to get over it, at which time I reminded him that he won't feel so cavalierly about it when it's his daughters. I quickly changed the conversation to his school & work and we're all good now. I'm still not talking to that wife though...not initiating conversation anyhow...
Just get over it is a bad statment of irritation. Irriation because they wanted support and are not getting and are scared that what they did was wrong and want to be resured that what they did was right. People say that when they know they are alone and are trying to hurt by saying get over it. It is like the lady that protest too much. He's not so sure - if he really said that.
Good for you to talk to him.
Onyxelle, I'm very happy you talked with your brother and all seems well. However, you can't go on forever not speaking to his wife, that will hurt him even more.
I'm sure it will all be resolved in the near future, meantime, don't burden yourself by someone else's thoughtlessness.
a picture of the newlyweds
Aw. They look awful sweet...
