Parent doesn’t want girls to be friends

I agree on the confronting, however, I can't - I mean I know myself and I'd probably hit her - well not really, but I'd say that would only encourage the thoughts of bad influence....sorry but I can't be that nice - the protective mom thing.


My husband is planning on talking to her dad though - my husband knows him a bit through various kids activies. I don't know the "witch" much - other than through school - she is a teacher's aid as well at the school. Fortunately she is no longer in either of my kids' classes - she is with the pre-schoolers and kindergarteners.

It is possible that this girl's behavior is being blamed on my daughter. My daughter hinted that this girl has more recently been getting in more trouble at home. To me that is normal she just started high school - the age thing. And the hint is - my daughter's influence.

She also seems like she doesn't get along well with her mom. She is always telling my daughter how her mom is mean to her, that your youngest sister is spoiled and gets all new stuff and anything she wants, while she doesn't. Her brothers can be on the computer whenever they want, but she is limited with time. I realize that this kid is probably exeraggeted this - what kid doesn't - but there is definately friction between the two.

Funny you mention about popularity - because of course on the positive this opens up conversation - I told my daughter how I trusted her to make good decisions. I would know even if she was around kids that may not make the best decision, that I trusted she would make the right one. So I would never do this to her. So maybe she thinks I am permissive, but only because I know my girl and she has only shown me that she does make good decisions.

Can I still kick her butt?

I told my daughter if I were her big sister and this mom was this other girl's big sister - I'd go over and kick her butt. I did tell it wasn't appropriate, but I'd like to do that. That got a chuckle out of her.

My daughter also said, she feels like going over to this mom and telling her how she feels about it. I told her that where she was a teacher in the school (even if she is wrong) she does need to respect her position so to tread lightly.

I understand not wanting to add fuel to the fire by giving her a piece of your mind (or a kick in the butt), but advocating for one's child is different than fighting their battles for them. I tried never to interfere in my kids battles with other kids, but when an adult is bad-mouthing your child to other children then I think it's proper for another adult to enter the conversation. If that's best handled by your husband through the other dad then that's fine, but it doesn't sound like the other dad was part of the bad-mouthing. Dunno -- I'd want to hear directly from the horse's mouth what she was doing calling my daughter a bad influence.

I'lll see how it goes with my hubby. I don't think he is bad mouthing my daughter - he was actually the advocate that allowed her to come with us to an amusement park this summer. The mom stated she didn't want her to go, and the dad said, just let her. So thus she did.

I'm just thinking that since my husband has a relationship with the dad already and have little beyond the can E--- come over to play sort of thing. Really I have few if anything in common with her and this really does not make me like her at all. I figured it is easier to talk rationally on both sides if there is a relationship. And from the little I am getting to know of the mom (and I am probably biased as well as I am just hearing the daughter's side of things) - I don't like her so I'm not going be too nice.

I'd be a bit worried about E repeating what her mom has said about your daughter. But talking to her may just aggravate the situation, rather than clearing it up. It sounds to me like the mom might be jealous of your daughter, Linkat, how good she is, etc. Her daughter's acting up likely wasn't in her plan for her, if she's the control freak I think she is.

Actually it was her son that told my daughter this.

Any way - her daughter does very well academically as well. She is usually near the top of her class and has made the math olympics, etc. She is currently in mostly advanced placement classes.

I can see the control freak thing going on though. I can see that she pictures her daughter doing certain things with certain people and wants only that. The thing is, her daughter is very good. The thing she seems to complain about seem to center around her limited freedom.

Her mom working at the school does complicant things as well - if I tick her off not sure what it do for my kids. She could to not like me. I wouldn't doubt it. I dress differently (not that I wear revealing clothes, but I dress youthful and stylish), I get along with the kids well and talk about stuff with them and joke around. Basically I enjoy having fun with them - but of course a certain distance not to embarass my kids.