@iamzandra,
When you're under 18, you are pretty constrained. But you can cautiously seek out friends who might share your interest. Once you're a legal adult, there are lots of internet based hookup and interest groups that you can use to locate others who share your "fetish." I share your same fetish, and was miserable well into my 20s (now in my 60s) because I was unable to locate others or overcome my own psychological hangups about it. But eventually came to accept myself the way I was and found that although it's a "sexual minority" (especially, as in my case, when combined with another sexual minority, in my case being gay), you are not alone and you can find others who will fulfill your needs. You CAN find fulfillment and happiness without trying to force yourself to be something you are not. (Which never works, please don't waste your life trying!)
