@anonymously99,
I know I said I wouldn't post again, but I needed to respond to your latest post.
Although I did not suffer the sort of trauma you did, I did have occasion to see a clinical psychologist when I was a teenager and a psychiatrist during my twenties. I have realized since those years that they were abysmally incompetent. So, please be careful when dealing with some health care professionals. After all, psychology is not as empirical a science as, say, chemistry or physics. Perhaps RexRed could give you some advice, as well as moral support, from the standpoint of his own life experience. He's not had an easy life.
Whatever you do, I deeply hope you will find peace someday. You deserve it. I think just about all the members here would be pulling for you.
I've really got to go now. Take care.