@anonymously99,
Assuming that you're not making this up: Of course, there are people who care. By the way, "drab and depressing" does not mean traumatic. I was not engaging in a pity party. I was simply joking.
We're at a distinct disadvantage here because communication is restricted to words posted in a forum. In other words, there's no voice tone or body posture that would contribute to real understanding.
I'm not a mental health professional, obviously; but I have known several individuals who have suffered terribly from abuse or trauma they experienced when they were young. I've seen the effect that can have on a person's life. One of them was my best friend's first wife. My heart has bled for these individuals. It's really horrifying when you learn that it happened to someone you know who is now having to deal with the psychological aftereffects.
I know this will sound cliched, but perhaps a support group would be helpful. Of course, since I know nothing about you (not even in which country you reside), I don't know what is available where you live.
I wish I were a mental health professional (one that is actually competent, of course). I would try to help you in that way.
Please remember that you are not a bad person. You did absolutely nothing to bring on the abuse.
People do care. I'm sure there must be a few members who endured some sort of abuse as they were growing up. You're not alone. Far from it.
I did not mean to upset you. I apologize. I hope you find peace some day soon.
Take care.
P.S. I can't stay up too late; so, this will have to be my last post for tonight.