wife cheated and it turns me on?

I do not I just want to hear about the sexual intimacies that occurred in her past

My wife is not allowed to have a computer.

Joe you must not be understanding to what I was saying. We were together for a total of 8 years 4 married and 4 dating. She cheated on me while we were dating, we were together. I am not trying to be a jerk about anything, I just want some advice

I understood that jfred which is why I pointed out that you probably weren't interested in the strange sexual practices hawkeye wanted you to visit.

But if you insist on talking about the past it will become the present in ways you may not want it to.

Thank you for your words! I know this is something that is out of the ordinary and I have been debating why I am feeling this way for quite some time, but thank you for your words!

In all seriousness, if I found out 4 years into my marriage my husband slept with another woman, let's say at least a year before we got married, but we were dating for a total of 4 years, I wouldn't give a fat rat's ass.

If I went out with a guy a year before marrying him, I'd feel that way about anything that happened 6 months or before.

****, if right now, 17 years into it, Wally told me he screwed someone a week before we got married, I'd really have to pretend to have any type of reaction.

Ancient history.

i bet wally would have liked to have known that then, a little late now

Thank you for your advice

Thank you for explaining the math

Keep telling yourself that.....you want to be confronted with the fact that you have are sharing this woman with other guys, there is almost no difference between you and guys who are sharing their wives currently, or who want to. The erotic titillation comes from the same place.

What, like he'd be able to recall all these details after all this time?
I can't remember what I had for dinner last night.

Oh wait!

No, I wish he HAD screwed someone a week before we got married. I would have had him tell me all the details every time we made sweet sweet love.

Now I'm depressed.

Please stop, it is very clear that our Fred here does not want to seriously evaluate what he is doing, why this turns him on. Let's stick to the question...how he can make it happen. Asking why he wants to press on even though his wife says she does not like it will take him to lands that he is not ready to traverse.

Okay. Now I understand the time line.
He's known this woman for eight years and been married to her for four of those years.
At sometime during those eight years but before they were married, she had a sexual relationship (if you can have a relationships based on screwing twice) with another man.

He found out about the incident because he is in the habit of going through her emails. (No wonder he's not getting any blowjobs. He's not. He hasn't said so, but believe me, a guy who is peeking into his wife's emails looking and trouble is not getting any oral sex. Ask him.)

Now comes the good part, he wants us to forget what a weird **** he is, but first he tells us that A YEAR LATER he is still badgering his wife to tell him the details of her liaison. A year later. jeezus.

And he wants us to advise him on how he can make it happen.
Count me out.
==
Lookit, I know all about evolutionary biology. How, when we were still a bit ape-ish, all of the females mated with as many males as possible and that the thought of a female having sex with multiple partners is still one of the biggest turn-ons in this modern world because of that circumstance.
(Don't believe it? FACT:The biggest selling porn films all involve females with multiple male partners, the lowest selling films involve males with multiple female partners.)
==
All that being said, the guy is still a jerk. Probably a little pissed because he didn't lay some pipe when he and his soon to be wife were still soon to be. Too bad.

At the risk of repeating myself :
1) Emails are private. Even married partners have private lives. R_E_S_P_E_C_T ,, nuff said.

2) Emailing her purported partner and grilling him was way out of line. If he had called me, I would have told him that what happened before he got married was none of his *&%!$ business and if he asked again or if I found out he was asking his wife about it, I would personally shut his face for him. OK? .okay.

3) Asking his wife to repeat the details of her private life is manipulative and sick. Especially since she has already said it makes her uncomfortable. Sex between consenting adults has to be between consenting adults, even better, happy, horny, consenting adults.

My advice to him would be to start building a life of their own, that he begin to figure out ways to re-excite his wife and not just himself and to let go of his completley immature hang-ups about the past.

My advice to her remain the same as before.

If you are reading this, madam, run!-get out!-beat it!-make a break for freedom!!
Joe(you can hide here in New York)Nation

Ha!

The thing that bothers me most about this story is that you were not only reading your wife's emails but had the cheek to email one of her friends just because you didn't know who he was. Don't you have any respect for your wife's privacy? Do you read her diary and hack her facebook account as well?

JFred -
You like to hear your wife talk about the sex act. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, I wish you would let her know that you like to hear her talk about sex. (HOWEVER, getting her to talk about sex with a real person - an old boyfriend, is making her creep out. So that has got to stop)

So . . . you need to change the "man" she is talking about.

Can I suggest a new game for you to play with your wife? Encourage her to talk about a "fantasy" man and what she would do to him, and he to her. She can describe all the action, and what turns her on, and then you can take over from there.

It sounds like you want her to be more playful . To get her to talk, let it all be Fantasy and fun.

Wrong, if that were true he would want to relive all the great sex they have had over 8 years. No, he wants to relive how she cheated on him, how another man had his woman and how she liked it.

You have no clue what is going on here...

When I was Younger and in me prime
I used to gangbang all the time
but now i'm older and going grey
I only gangbang once a day.

knock! knock!
whos there?
Lena
Lena who?
Lena up against the wall and give he a gangbag.

OP you can't force your wife to do something she does not want to, doing so will turn her off fast.. Its your fantsy not hers. If she is Ok with doing so you can certainly express your own fantasy.


My wife says, for her, words (talking dirty) get in the way of the feelings.

um ... Fred sounds rather more obsessed to me, dp, rather than turned on.

Just my 2 bob's worth.