Blimey - another digression thread!
dlowan wrote:Blimey - another digression thread!
That'll be my fault. Sorry!
dlowan thread = digression !
Hey GD !
I hear you. I make sure I always carry a bottle of roophies cleverly disguised in an asprin container. Whenver I think the woman is a threat to me, and might hurt me, like...I don't know, tells me I have a hice smile, I make sure to spike her drink with a couple of those babies, and say goodnight.
Ebeth...do you live in Canadia? If so, you reminded me of in Bowling for Columbine, when they interviewed the people up there, and nobody was worried about crime, they left their doors open, ect, while people in the US are constantly frightened of everything.
Yup, I'm in Canada. No pepper spray, no mace, anytime, anywhere.
If you're not in a gang, you don't need to worry about gang violence round here. I'm in the biggest metropolitan area up here - 3,000,000 +. The doors are locked at night, but no weapons.
As a single woman, I never went to a mans' place UNLESS I intended to have sex with him so the idea of being raped never came up. Most of the guys came to my place anyway but there was one who I never let come to my place, it was my way of maintaining the upper hand, and boy did that piss him off. But he had my heart and everything else anyway, and I was getting very little back in return, so literally keeping him out of my bed was the only thing I had any control over.
One may go the guy's place thinking sex is a possibility you'd like, and get a rough surprise - rape is still possible.
I guess it's always possible. I count my blessings that I never encountered such pigs. Never even thought about it really. Not that I can remember. Seduced, yes. Overpowered, never. Seems like today, things are so different
Let's face it, you never know, really know, anybody today ... so wherever you go, be prepared, and be vigilant ... I hate surprises!
I can remember going to Dublin to visit my family, and as soon as we headed for the city, my sisters would warm me to watch my pocketbook, because it was common practice to have thieves open the car door and grab it.
I've never felt that vulnerable in this country, USA.
OK, here's a drop, I was date raped, as it were, a long long time ago, when I did visit a guy's studio, who I did have fantasies about, and found myself, um, how shall I say this, thwapped quickly with no recourse and yes, I did say no aggressively, and floundered, later, out of there. The door to the studio was a hundred feet away. I didn't speak from the second it happened. 40 years ago next October. No, I didn't die, but I didn't forget it either.
I don't think that man should have been jailed, though I don't know even now what I might have him learn. I still have no perspective on that.
It was the only time in a fulgently enthusiastic sexual life that I didn't participate, out of outright refusal.
I'm not sure what good mace might have done, and in any case I probably would have maced myself. I also don't counsel not getting involved in life, for women. Just a certain wariness, more than I had.
Ah, Dlowan, thanks. Just want to give people what they now call (gag) heads up. I could not have been more surprised, when it happened to me.
I have been through, sometime later, rape that turned into not rape, a certain okayness, since I laughed.
but that first one wasn't funny, even though not at knife point - I wasn't strong enough. the door was a long way away, and the episode was life changing. though I never stopped saying no.
So, we see, that I have had serious rape and almost rape. The line... the line is important.
I still pay, in ways, for the first one.
Nobody EXPECTS the Spanish Inquisition, she said wryly...
eh? I should have kept quiet?
well, phoeey.
Huh? LOL!!! It is a joke from Monty Python!!! Justy means we do not expect horrible things to happen to us - I was using black humour.
I use black humour to deal with things....
Unfortunate coalescence of my speaking out and a flash of humor. Oh, well.
