Did I get raped?

@firefly,

firefly, have you actually read this thread?
Your lengthy advise is not only obsolete it's quite confusing as well, especially
if you had followed the entire thread.

1 Reply

@firefly,

The only time mental health officials MUST report someone is if they firmly believe that person is a danger to themselves or society. Otherwise, you are right. It's confidential.

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@tsarstepan,

Quote:

It sounds like a textbook description of date rape.

ndred percent

Assuming that he was also drunk and she was on top of him first I agree one hundred percent that she rape him and he should press charges.

How dare she force sex on him when he was not able to grant consent?

1 Reply

@Arella Mae,

Even if the person is a danger to themselves or others, the obligation of the mental health professional is to have the person evaluated in a psych ER for possible admission--they don't necessarily have to notify the police. The police get involved only if there is a problem getting the person to a hospital.

The only instance I can think of when confidentiality cannot be maintained in a therapeutic relationship, is when a person is making very credible threats, or voicing credible plans, to kill or significantly harm specific other people, and the mental health professional feels these might be acted on, and it is not a situation that calls for immediate hospitalization. In those instances, the potential victim of such harm must be warned, if possible, and the police should be notified.

And, obviously, in cases of abuse and neglect of minors and the elderly, confidentiality of such conditions cannot be maintained by mandated reporters.

But, none of those situations apply in Dosed's case. And the "information" provided to her by Hawkeye, regarding "mandatory reporting" in her situation was inaccurate.

1 Reply

@hawkeye10,

Quote:

AND get on birth control if you have been going without.....

I would also suggest that she cut down on her drinking and if she can not do so get some aid to address the matter.

Her main concern/problem is doing such heavy drinking not the drunken sex she had have.

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@firefly,

I believe you are correct. I was thinking about when I worked in mental health and clients would be off their meds and could not be located then the psychiatrists would call the police officials.

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@CalamityJane,

Quote:

firefly, have you actually read this thread?
Your lengthy advise is not only obsolete it's quite confusing as well, especially
if you had followed the entire thread.

I'm confused, CalamityJane. I don't understand your post. And, yes, I've read this entire thread.

I'm not really giving Dosed any advice. I was responding to Hawkeye's post.

I was trying to correct the misinformation which Hawkeye posted regarding "mandatory reporting", "mandatory arrest", and "mandatory prosecution"--none of which even remotely apply to the situation in this thread.

So, what do you think was "obsolete" or "quite confusing" about what I said?

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@BillRM,

BillRM wrote:

Assuming that he was also drunk and she was on top of him first I agree one hundred percent that she rape him and he should press charges.

How did she penetrate him? I must have missed that part.

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Thank you firefly, for you post. I see a counselor at my university regularly. I've been on break and haven't gotten to have a session with her for the last few weeks, but I do plan on telling her about this incident and I don't have any fear about any kind of pressure, especially considering the circumstances of the event.

Secondly, many people keep commenting on my "drinking problem." I'd like to say that yes, I'm a college student. Alcohol is a big part of my life. I won't deny that. However, I do not have a problem. I drank way too much on one occasion, but to be honest, it wasn't that much more than I normally drink. You guys are very quick to assume that it was my drinking, and not a drug that was slipped into my drink, that caused me to be in a very hazy mindset and to blackout. I understand this is only a possibility, but I also know that I've never felt as "in and out" of my awareness due to being drunk as I did that night. I will not stop drinking, but I have learned a lesson about drinking around people I don't know, and about making poor decisions while drunk, and about how much I should drink in public. Moderation is key. I also plan to take a limited amount of cash with me when I go out, instead of opening a tab. These are my choices and my decisions, criticize them as you will.

Thanks again for the posts.

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@Dosed,

Eat dinner before you drink. Seriously.

After a big dinner I can drink anyone under the table. With a little dinner, or no dinner, three beers puts my head in a spin.

Every time I've had a problem with alcohol in my life, I can look back and see that my nutrition that day was poor.

Cycloptichorn

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@CalamityJane,

You know guys there were a similar case of a man sound asleep alone in a back bedroom of a party when this drunken young woman jump into bed and have sex with him on her 18 birthday and she was a virgin also.

She had him charge with rape and he needed to go in front of a full military court martial before being found not guilt.

Her being a virgin or not a virgin she is the one who got drunk and begin or at least eagerly went along with a sexual encounter and he is not guilty of a damn thing.

She need treatment for her drinking but she is not a victim of anyone but herself.

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@CalamityJane,

Quote:

would take advantage of an intoxicated woman.
Only the sleazy, despicable kind will do such a rotten thing. Make up your
mind, on which side your on.

Does that work in reverse?????????

Did she not take advantage of him if he was under the influence and if not why the hell not?

1 Reply

@CalamityJane,

Quote:

it's no myth than men generally can hold their liquor much better than
women. For one, their physique is differently (more weight

Lord you are reaching to the moon to justify this double standards.

Sorry so he need to take a few more drinks big deal.

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@Dosed,

Sorry I was once a college student and my drinking at that time and place consist of a few beers when doing homework with classmates at a pizza place.

In am life of 62 years I had been under the influence however many times but never to the point of not remembering my actions.

You have a drinking problem whether you wish to face it or not.

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@BillRM,

the point that you are missing is that it was consensual until something was inside me. it wasn't like, oh yeah, I wanna do this, let's have sex. then the next morning I regretted it and called it rape. I was fine with kissing, and he was too. I was fine with making out. I was fine with him putting his hands on my breasts and my butt. Bottom line, I didn't want to have sex. I'm sorry, but just because a girl is "all over you" doesn't mean she wants to have sex with you. It's my prerogative to make out with a man. It's my decision as to how far I want to go. I didn't want it to go that far and I didn't have the capacity to tell him that. I'm removing the context of rape from the situation due to the fact that I didn't say no. Also, because it's unlikely sex occurred due to what my doctor said. However, if sex did in fact occur, it was not wanted on my part. I should have said no, however, I didn't have the mental clarity to do so. So, in my mind, it was some form of rape because I did not want it, while it was happening nor afterwards. However, I understand that the circumstance is what it is, and as I stated, I never had any intention of "calling rape" or getting him into any trouble for this. I think THAT should be in all of your minds when you accuse me of such things.

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@Dosed,

You are wasting your breath responding to THAT ONE. He has pretty much proven to anyone that reads his posts that he believes SOME WOMEN DESERVE TO BE RAPED. In fact, it's pretty much what he is implying about you.

Please don't pay any attention to him and hopefully, he'll go away.

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@Dosed,

Dosed wrote:

You guys are very quick to assume that it was my drinking, and not a drug that was slipped into my drink, that caused me to be in a very hazy mindset and to blackout.

Ockham's Razor. The simplest explanation is usually the correct one.

1 Reply

@Dosed,

Quote:

I'm sorry, but just because a girl is "all over you" doesn't mean she wants to have sex with you. It's my prerogative to make out with a man. It's my decision as to how far I want to go. I didn't want it to go that far and I didn't have the capacity to tell him that. I'm removing the context of rape from the situation due to the fact that I didn't say no. Also, because it's unlikely sex occurred due to what my doctor said. However, if sex did in fact occur, it was not wanted on my part. I should have said no, however, I didn't have the mental clarity to do so. So, in my mind, it was some form of rape because I did not want it, while it was happening nor afterwards. However, I understand that the circumstance is what it is, and as I stated, I never had any intention of "calling rape" or getting him into any trouble for this. I think THAT should be in all of your minds when you accuse me of such things.
1 Reply

My wife may be a mind reader or at least she have me convicted of that fact however most men are not and unless you can remember clearly telling him to stop in terms that no reasonable person can misunderstand he did nothing wrong.

Once you begin the process it is your duty to define the limits and tell him that those limits had been reach not his to guess at them.

Now you are claiming that you did not have the ability to stop him due to your own voluntary drinking and you are expecting him in the middle of sex and under similar influences to be aware of that fact?

As an adult you need to control when and where and with whom and to what degree you incapacitate yourself with alcohol or drugs or whatever.

One thing seem very clean and that it was not rape he did not force you, threaten you or drug you. You was aware of you surrounding enough to made out with him.

Because your judgment sober is not the same as under the influence did not turn this into rape.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

It is clear to me that you aren't even educated enough to use proper grammar, so why should I bother to read what you have to say about the situation? Your response is bigoted and narrow-minded and you missed my point entirely.

2 Replies

@Dosed,

http://img715.imageshack.us/img715/1479/clappinghands.gif

1 Reply

Did I get raped?

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