@chai2,
chai2 wrote:
No, more in the "we really can't have a discussion that all children are not special/extraordinary/worshipped without some people thinking things like 'GC was just saying that to be funny', 'you must be anti-chidren/a child hater/not a parent to say such things'"
Preferential treatment? As in when adults are expected to tolerate misbehavior in public because "there just kids", like when special meals have to be prepared because the kid won't eat what everyone else is? Like as if everyone else is delighted with every aspect of their meal?
Children need to learn to adapt and deal with the world around them, not the world adapt to them. Accomodations for smaller size, different dexterity, etc is good. Same as it is good to accomodate someone in a wheelchair, or who is diabetic and can't eat the same meal. An example of accomodating a child would be to provide a quiet dim area for the child to sleep in when they run out of endurance and get cranky. Preferential treatment is making everyone put up with the cranky child, because the parents won't leave with them. Honestly? If your kid turns cranky, get them the **** out of there. Don't make the world deal with your lack of planning.
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Here's an example of what you're saying (I think) and I totally get and agree with it.
At my wedding, a friend of mine wanted her 3.5 yr old to attend our dinner. I didn't want her there because who was I going to sit her with - nobody wants to get a babysitter and then go out and have to eat with a 3 yr old, I don't care how well behaved they are. This was also an adult night, so it was totally inappropriate. Anyway, I thought, well, if it's just for dinner (yes, she was taking her home after), then O-KAY, I'll get them their own table. She was flying in from Vancouver, so she's not a local. Long story short, a few days before the wedding, I asked her if she'd found a sitter and discovered that they didn't need one - not only was the kid staying for dinner, but also for the first music set, AND coming to my evening party the night before at around 9:00 p.m.
I said NO. That is NOT happening. And we had a weird discussion. She doesn't get much time with her because she works all day, weekends are important, the kid was excited to dress up and have dinner with us, blah blah blah. I said, you know, I could handle a kid being at the dinner, but not during the dancing, and certainly not at my house party - nobody wants to be around little kids at 9:00 or 10:00 at night. No, No, No.
So, she's now not talking to me (oh well).
She figured she and her kid are more important than the other 95 people at the event. Uh, no, you're not. And if I'd wanted kids there, I'd have invited my granddaughters. But how dare she extend my grudging acceptance at the dinner to all the rest of it?
