21
   

STAY ON TOPIC, DAMNIT ! ! !

 
 
Joeblow
 
  1  
Reply Wed 15 Dec, 2010 07:15 am
@ossobuco,
(shiver)

0 Replies
 
wayne
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 06:03 am
So, who's afraid of Virginia Wolf?
Setanta
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 06:09 am
I think you'll find that athletes are held in a high esteem out of all proportion to their individual characters.
0 Replies
 
High Seas
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 06:09 am
@wayne,
A priest, a lawyer, and an engineer vacationing in Texas, when (for reasons never made clear to them), they are arrested and sentenced to death by electric chair. The day of the execution come, and the three unlucky men are led up into the execution chamber.

The priest is strapped in first, and for his last words declares “I believe God will intervene on my behalf!” The guards throw the switch and nothing happens, so they assume God has intervened and let the priest go free.

The lawyer is strapped in next, and for his last words declares “I believe in the power of justice to protect the innocent!” The guards throw the switch and nothing happens, so they assume justice has been served and let the lawyer go free.

Finally, the engineer is strapped in, and for his last words declares “Well shoot! You ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this dang thing in!”
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 04:25 pm
@High Seas,
Who dont love pistachios
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 04:26 pm
@farmerman,
If some woman don't kill me, I'll live til I die.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 04:30 pm
What is so lovely as sapsuckers in June?
0 Replies
 
FBM
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 04:57 pm
A nod's as good as a wink to a blind horse.
wayne
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 05:03 pm
I found a fractal in my soup.
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 05:19 pm
@wayne,
Im David Puttnam, any calls for me?
High Seas
 
  2  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 05:24 pm
@FBM,
The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because that’s the way they built them in England, and the US railroads were built by English expatriates.

Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used.

Why did ‘they’ use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that’s the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads? The first long distance roads in Europe (and England) were built by Imperial Rome for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts? The initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels and wagons, were first made by Roman war chariots. Since the chariots were made for, or by Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

Thus, we have the answer to the original question. The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman war chariot.

Specifications and bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse’s rear end came up with it, you may be exactly right-because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.

Now the twist to the story… There’s an interesting extension to the story about railroad gauges and horses’ behinds. When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory at Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory had to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses behinds.

So, the major design feature of what is arguably the world’s most advanced transportation system was determined by the width of a couple of horses’ asses.
wayne
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 05:27 pm
@farmerman,
LOL, we used to do that to people when I was in high school. Call all evening for a ficticious person and then....
0 Replies
 
FBM
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 06:57 pm
@High Seas,
A Møøse once bit my sister...
No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse
with the sharpened end of an interspace tøøthbrush given
her by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and
star of many Norwegian møvies: "The Høt Hands of an Oslo
Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge Mølars of Horst
Nordfink"...
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 07:25 pm
I believe (correct me if I am wrong) Gustav Ratzenhoffer had sex with mooses, singly and in groups.
Rockhead
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 07:26 pm
@edgarblythe,
ummm.

I wanna say on the record. not this moose.

nor any mooses I know.
0 Replies
 
FBM
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 07:32 pm
Møøse bites can be pretty nasti.
0 Replies
 
Ticomaya
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 07:38 pm
@High Seas,
Okay, but why are the wheels of a Roman war chariot 4 feet, 8.5 inches apart?
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 10:49 pm
@Ticomaya,
Ticomaya wrote:

Okay, but why are the wheels of a Roman war chariot 4 feet, 8.5 inches apart?


Why the hell not?


Probably just a bit shorter than the average human at the time, so the wheels were bound to crush 'em.
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Thu 16 Dec, 2010 11:07 pm
@dlowan,
Well, its the start of "The locking" around here.The ELk and Octoraro Creeks are beginning to freeze across, the recent snow has piled up over the ice layer and the beavers are keeping their water paths open by constant use of a single lane.
Its during this time, before freezeup, that SYcamores are at theoir most dangerous to hikers along the streams. The branches, all sap gone south, are brittle, so that any high winds can cause the excess sycamore branches to come crashing down into the creek bed. These will form snags down in the midstream areas and beavers will begin new dams and ice skaters will have new places to play hockey. Its all one big web of ice and tree.


Sorry for the bullshit but I hate "Locking time" . Its a sign that the days are now getting longer but the weather will be getting waaay colder for about 2.5 months.


My tomato seed catalog came today so its not all bad.
farmerman
 
  1  
Reply Fri 17 Dec, 2010 07:21 am
@farmerman,
I need 2 Sumptuary LAws that were practiced by the Phoenicians. Its a quiz Im taking part in.

I think 1 had to do with that purple dye made from gastropods
 

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