... I was reminded of the pact(Id completely forgotten ) I remembered clearly of what I was to do and got all teary eyed. It involves a thing I must do and I must attend his funeral and complete the "mission". (Seems Ive been doing some other final tasks this summer,)I dont like it ...
... Apparently Joel is now going to hold me to this pact that was made sometime in our mid teens (About the same time that our friendshipp attachements began to cool off). Joel went to business school and did quite well as a CFO of a large company In the community in which he remained . I moved on and followed a different path. Yet, I feel the pull of the old friendship and , today, I feel the strength of , but, the pacts , some silly and others more adult in scope than when they were made.
I'm itching to know more about the nature of your pact with Joel, farmer (apart from attending his funeral). But I won't ask for details, because I figure that if you wanted to reveal them that you would have already done so. (So no pressure, OK?
But, yes, it's certainly a dilemma. I understand your mixed feelings. I mean, you'd feel a loyalty & a fondness for that period in your life
when you two enjoyed such a close friendship. But, if what was agreed to in your pact is completely at odds with who you now are as an adult
, what are you to do about this promise? Does it mean you're obliged to do certain things that you now
find inappropriate, disagreeable, or offensive even?
I think it's a real shame that your childhood friend didn't contact you before he died. As your pact meant so much to him (obviously) I'm really surprised he didn't. It 's unfortunate that his wife (whom it sounds like you haven't ever met) has now contacted you, reminding you about your "obligations" under the pact. It would have been much nicer if you & your friend had had the opportunity to have talked about this before he died. And had the opportunity to talk about old times, too ...
I know you're not quite asking for "advice", but my inclination (if I found myself in the same boat as you) wouldn't
be to do anything that struck me totally inappropriate (for me) as an adult. I'd be more likely to make contact with his family & express my sorrow at his untimely death & share a some stories about your teenage adventures with Joel... and I'd gently tell them that completing the "mission" is regretfully something you can't do now, because ...