Friends from our Childhoods

@John Trenor,

Welcome on board the train there John.
It was Stephen King who, at the end of Stand By Me made the comment about how we never hatch friendships as intense as those we had in childhood. I forget the line but it was typical Stephen King cool.

Actually it was better in my memory. Heres the ending line

STEPHEN KING wrote: page 32

Quote:

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12 - Jesus, did you?"

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My older brother was a blood brother to a Pima, from Fresno, CA. They actually did the cutting thing. He would spend Saturday nights in their settlement, with the partying going on til all hours. One morning, he woke up in bed with one of their girls. The girl's brother gouged his arm with a beer opener for revenge. These boys were inseparable. The Pima gave Roger a leather jacket and Roger grew a duck tail. Then he got a flat top on the top. They planned to grow up and work for the railroad for $2 HR. But the settlement was thinning and railroad jobs were not as readily available. Roger's friend moved to Albuquerque. They were never to meet again.

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@edgarblythe,

Osso, I sat in (on invitation backstage) at a major performance of Maynard Fergusons "Children of Sanchez" It was aperfect accompaniment to the story ahhhh , (it was Chuck Mangione my wife said--senor moment Cool

)

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@roger,

Thanks for asking, roger and osso.

I have never trusted any one since then except my son. I feel I have let him down in some ways because I have never been 'gushy' but have based our relationship on respect and fair play. We had a period of two years when we were completely estranged. I dreaded dying and leaving him with a lifelong guilt about us, so I finally tracked him down and we talked it out. For him, he could not see why I demanded honesty in all things from him while I went on through life accepting **** from everyone else. For me, as long as I had his love, I could not give a damn about the rest of the world. The treatment I got from eveyone else was like water off a duck's back. He now understands what makes me tick and we are in a good place.

I feel I am lacking in some pheromone - you know, the one that engenders love in others. For the most part I am even tempered, never been mean with my money, never been demanding, reasonably good looking, help where I can. Sound like a great catch, don't I? I have had a few relationships, but they have fizzled out - no great dramas or betrayals - just died through lack of interest.

But don't cry for me Argentina! It's all okay. I am reasonably contented with life. I've done some amazing things, seen some amazing places and met some amazing people along the way and feel very 'involved' with the A2K family, so life is not too bad at all.

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@ragnel,

Thank you for telling us, not that easy a thing to do. I'm (what's the word, pleased) for you both that you have that understanding.

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@farmerman,

I didn't know about that. Only one I've talked about that book with, that I remember, in the past is JLNobody.
Now I have to look up Chuck Mangione on Children of Sanchez, and Maynard Ferguson. Haven't listened to either of them in a dog's age.

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@farmerman,

My condolences

farmerman wrote:

Today,( late this afternoon actually) I was sent an e-mail from the wife of one of my childhood friends. Joel, my friend, who I hadnt seen or talked with for over 30 years, died this morning. Joel was a few years older than me and , as far as I know, was in perfect health, his wife said he worked out 4 days a week and had a very low body fat %. Obviously his genetics kicked in and obviated all that . His wife said that , just before he collapsed and died this AM, Joel said that he was thinking of me today and yesterday and he recalled how we used to get on each others parents nerves and get in trouble. He told his wife that we made a pact and that he wanted me to know that he remebered it after all these years. When I was reminded of the pact(Id completely forgotten ) I remembered clearly of what I was to do and got all teary eyed. It involves a thing I must do and I must attend his funeral and complete the "mission". (Seems Ive been doing some other final tasks this summer,)I dont like it , save for my brother in law whose task of scattering some of his ashes I considered a mission of love.
Back to my friend Joel,It appears to me that,
When we were kids, our friendships were stronger than our adult ones. As kids, We made oaths and pacts to each other and vowed to help each other out no matter what. These were oaths and pacts that, , in later lives , we transferred to our families, wives and kids exclusively and rarely allowed ourselves to get that close to acquaintances.

Apparently Joel is now going to hold me to this pact that was made sometime in our mid teens (About the same time that our friendshipp attachements began to cool off). Joel went to business school and did quite well as a CFO of a large company In the community in which he remained . I moved on and followed a different path. Yet, I feel the pull of the old friendship and , today, I feel the strength of , but, the pacts , some silly and others more adult in scope than when they were made.

Like Sam McGee, Ive got another task involving the Dead . I suppose that its only going to matter to me and to Joels wife and his grown sons but "a promise made is a debt unpaid" as RS said. Had I known this was gonna be stuck to me and called in after all these years, I wouldnt have made it in the first place.

What did u EXPECT ?????

farmerman wrote:

Im gonna have to scare up a DVD of "Stand By Me" and watch it, as that story was more a story of forgotten pacts and coming of age during a certain time than it was a typical Stephen King short story.

Has anybody kept up connections with friends of your childhood or youth?

I did not. I wish I had.

farmerman wrote:

Do you remember the pacts and oaths that you swore to each other that,
even under pain of death you would honor

It did not occur to us to make pacts nor oaths.
One guy (also named David) wanted to be a blood brother.
He was ready to open an artery.
I doubt that he knew about blood under pressure.

David

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Hi Dys, are you in Budapest, Hungary, by any chance? If not, incredibly, you have something of a doppelganger. Cowboy hat, the same kind of long hair and beard, equally thin as both of us are - you are, I confess, one of the last persons I'd suspect having a double, but here he was, sitting in the window of Kyoto Restaurant!

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@nimh,

Oh hell....one of the pods escaped again....I'll notify Groom Lake.

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@2PacksAday,

Packs, I just know you will tell a story. Don't disappoint me, she weeps. Oh, wait, she snorts.

Still..

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@ossobuco,

Actually this very topic has been on my mind a lot....but it's much larger than just childhood friends...more to do with how my little town has changed so much in the past few years....but my thoughts have been heavily peppered with several of the friends I've made....and the reasons why I've distanced myself from them....from childhood and otherwise.

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@2PacksAday,

Hello again, 2Packs!
Please share. (I know it'll be good! Smile

)

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@2PacksAday,

Yeah.

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@msolga,

I think I've only mentioned it once on this site....as in RL, I am very private about my public life......odd, but true....anyway, I"ve been involved with the goings on of my city for about 14 yrs, in April I ended a four term run {8yrs} as a city councilman....mainly to take a break from things....and to give myself some time to see if I really wanted to return as Mayor next April. I told myself that in Sep, when I turned 40, I would make the decision....so I had about 5 months to mull it over.

Late that night....on my bd...as I sat out on the deck, and sipped a glass of 30 yr old single malt, I decided that no matter the downsides...and there are many, in such a small town....that my little town was, next to my family, the most important thing in my life....and pretty much always has been, since I was a small boy....there are iron clad reasons for my feeling that way, but I'll keep this short for now.

In everything that I have achieved, I am not ashamed to say that I am proud of myself....many minor, and a few major projects, that should have been attempted 40 years ago, are now completed, and I helped to see them thru {read that as pushed, pulled and dragged}....but my two best friends...one from basically 0-13 and the other from 14-21, have never had anything positive to say about this part of my life....and honestly what they do say is nothing I really want to repeat.....mainly just a general sense of disbelief that I could ever take part in something of this nature. When I do speak to them, which is very rare....I avoid the topic all together, but it always seems to come up....one anecdote coming up Osso....

My buddy and I both travel a lot with our jobs, so it's not uncommon for us to run into each other 10 times in a given week....which I usually just wave and go about my business....but one of the times I stopped to talk to him, we were in another town, so I figured I was safe from the topic coming up....but during our convo, two guys walked up to me and made a few jokes, mentioned something I had said during a dinner a few nights before and asked if he could quote me in the state house....I said something like sure, just don't forget to mention my name, cause I'll be up there to see them boys in a few years. After they walked away, my friend looking kinda confused asked who they were, and when I told him that the tall guy was our state rep, and the short guy was our county commissioner....by the look on his face I could tell that he was having trouble digesting this, so I asked him if he could actually hear the twilight zone music playing.

I rarely get my feeling hurt....very rarely, but each time I have an encounter that goes something like that, with either of them....it does bother me greatly....neither of them "believe" in me, and since I figure they know me best....the seed of doubt is put in place, and I begin to wonder if I'm just fooling myself....maybe I don't belong in that circle....I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a suit and tie, fancy dinner kinda guy....and I never have to be....but what my friends, and it seems most people don't understand is that those guys are just "dudes" like we were/are....

It's a good thing my ego is big enough to blow all that off in a few days after something like that happens.....well that and of course all the perks that come with being a politician....kickbacks, hookers and booze.

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@2PacksAday,

2PacksAday wrote:

It's a good thing my ego is big enough to blow all that off in a few days after something like that happens.....well that and of course all the perks that come with being a politician....kickbacks, hookers and booze.

It's rough, but somebody's got to do it.

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@2PacksAday,

Odd that I just posted about fifteen minutes ago about the election re a sort of friend. I didn't vote for her this time, as I'm in a different state, but I would have. She's running for california secretary of state and I'd be very surprised if she doesn't get it. We were all neighborhood pals. She is one of the only politicians I trust. I know, or knew, how she thinks and acts on how she thinks.
Same with another woman, who ran for assembly in an other area of california that I moved to, and she also won. She was a friend of my business partner, and was the one to clue me into a good surgeon (oh, never mind). Over the years I got to know her, and saw no falsity.

So I'm one of the people who think being mayor or assemblyperson, etc. is a worthwhile thing to do. Not so much for getting ahead (is that worth the aggravation?) but for the stance one takes, the getting in there and doing it.

I'm for you whatever you decide, Packs, and you know we differ on politics, at least somewhat.

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Adds, one of our clients back in north north is running for city counsel. I await results. On that one, I dunno.

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@2PacksAday,

Quote:

I am very private about my public life.

I'm not at all surprised.
I really appreciate it that you chose to post here about your experience, despite that, 2Packs.
It is not an easy thing to cope with, doing what you do in public life, amongst those you grew up with closely watching on.
I guess it's inevitable, the loss of some of those old, close connections along the way ... but I'm sure it's very hurtful at times, all the same.

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@2PacksAday,

Interesting.

For what it's worth, I think it's a fine thing you're doing, and for the right reasons.

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@2PacksAday,

2PacksAday wrote:

I rarely get my feeling hurt....very rarely, but each time I have an encounter that goes something like that, with either of them....it does bother me greatly....neither of them "believe" in me, and since I figure they know me best....the seed of doubt is put in place, and I begin to wonder if I'm just fooling myself....maybe I don't belong in that circle....I'll be the first to admit that I'm not a suit and tie, fancy dinner kinda guy....and I never have to be....but what my friends, and it seems most people don't understand is that those guys are just "dudes" like we were/are....

You're dealing with two different things. His perception of you as a kid and his perception of the gov't officials who he never knew as kids. In his eyes you're still a kid -- that same kid who got into whatever trouble you used to get into -- and they were never kids, or at least not kids who ever raised any hell. I think his reactions were kinda natural, not as a reflection of you and your worth to humanity, but as a "scratch my head, holy ****, the dude's done well over the years!" Now, maybe he had some preconceived notions of how you were going to turn out, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you didn't just impress the **** out of him.

I assume you've decided to run for mayor. I think that was a good choice, for you and for the town.

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