Chinese/Asian Wives V.S. Western/American Wives.

I believe there are lots of western women who would do whatever it takes to protect her family and kids from home wreckers but they don't know how to do. Most of women will try to threaten their husbands to cut off contacts with home wreckers. But they have forgotten one very simple fact about men-
Men are not scared of being threatened. They are not afraid of fighting.
So for me, threatening would be a bad strategy to get rid of the home wrecker.

There's always the Lorena Bobbit solution.

poor penis... Lol

Well, it's obvious our culture teaches us different things. In our culture, we believe respect should go both ways. Why would I want to live with a man who didn't respect me? A man who wanted to "have fun" with other women? I don't understand why your husband would want to do that. If he loves you "the most", then why wouldn't he want to be only with you? Why would other women attract him? Sleeping with other women is disrespectful to you, and if you don't understand that, we really have nothing else to say to one another.

But you've been talking about how you were mean and loud and aggressive and yelly and all those things to your husband, and that's why he went and had an affair.

You were just as Asian then as you are now, weren't you?

Meanwhile,

- I have no problem with my husband having female friends (and he has no problem with my male friends)
- Masturbation is neither here nor there
- Marriage is a partnership and conditional, yes. If my husband became insufferable for whatever reason (emotional abuse, physical abuse, whatever), I'd leave. I didn't sign away my autonomy the minute I said "I do" (and by the way, there was no promise to obey in my wedding vows. ) Same goes for him. We don't just take each other for granted (this does take effort btw).
- The last one ("If you don't listen to me, I will divorce you and leave you with my children") is just kooky. <shrug>

I had said this in my other topic but I would like paste my message here.

I'm not here to share with you anything bad and I bring no harms.

You can always disagree with me.
You can play prank on me.
You can insult me.
You can do whatever you want.

I came across this website and I read many stories. My heart bleeded when I read about an expecting mother. Her husband cheated when she's expecting.

I asked myself, I had been there going throght hell just like her, why I don't share?

Thus, I started my topic strongly to point out 3 important mistakes.

I think I hit it too directly and many readers (women) can't stand my topic.

Forget about my topic, forget about all the mistakes we made.

Your husband loves you in his own way, maybe it's a bit predictable and not so romantic. He's just being a dumb and he doesn't think so much as you.

Maybe sometimes he gets tired, angry at you but it has nothing to do with his love for you. We women tend to relate everything to "He doesn't love me anymore, " that's why he did this to me.

In the depth of your heart, you know he loves you, it's just maybe his favorite football team had lost the game and he was in a bad mood. It's just maybe he got scolded by his boss or some **** happened in his working days, but he didn't want to tell you to make you worry. He didn't want you to worry because he's a man and he believed he can handle his own duties, instead of asking you for help. He always loves you but in his own ways.

Your husband is a very simple creature, as I already said. He can't remember that 3 days ago he had said something dumb to hurt you, but you still remember clearly and you couldn't fall into sleep. Then you decided to interrogate him, waking him up from his sleep. He would be dumb again, not knowing how to reply you properly and he's tired and sleepy and he would probably say, "Can we discuss tomorrow?"

Then you would get even more pissed at him and your conclusion will be, " He doesn't love me anymore."

Thanks very much for your comments! I think it's fair.

When love is gone, let the lawer do his work.

Quote: But you've been talking about how you were mean and loud and aggressive and yelly and all those things to your husband, and that's why he went and had an affair.

Yes I did yell at him and I'm still very impatient. He complained to his women friends saying I treated him like ****. So to my own guessing, it can be one of many dumb reasons that he had affairs.

There're also some obvious reasons why he needed affairs.
1. Life is boring
2. Need refreshment
3. Feeling horny
4. Tempted by pornography on the internet and adultfriendfinder.com
5. There's a reason but he doesn't really know what.


Quote: You were just as Asian then as you are now, weren't you?
Yes, I'm Asian.

Dumbwife marriage culture in the west is different than the east and you should respect that as we respect the eastern ways. If I married someone who cheated all the time I'd divorce him like a shot, we don't put up with cheating well most of us, it's not on not only is it a lack of respect towards the woman and it is a low thing to do let alone the sexual diseases the husband may catch and pass it on to you but it goes against what we westerners value in a relationship which is trust. It's not hard to find a man that doesn't cheat. Put it this way if a man cheats on his wife then he cannot be upset if the wife does the same, it is called equality.


Values differ from east to west and you must respect that. By the way your name is demeaning to women, welcome to the western world. Why you would demean yourself I dont know maybe you have taken this business too far, calling yourself dumb is not healthy nor is it positive, I think you've gone too far calling yourself a dumbwife. I'm glad your husband no longer cheats, I'm a bit confused why he started, I thought you nagged him because he was cheating, not him cheat on you because you nagged him. Which one is it, did you nag first or did he cheat first?

You are not reading all my posts/topics carerfully, and my profile explains why I call myself dumb. It's an irony.

1. My meaning is simple- if you still love your husband and you want to spend the rest of life with him.

When you are in my IF condition, my posts have some ideas/suggestions to help you.

When you are not in my IF condition, get a good divorce. Who cares? You can marry and you can divorce. Nobody said cannot.

2. I never agree that husbands should have affairs; however, when you don't know your husband, you probably also don't know how to love your husband. Eventually, when he is unhappy in the marriage with you, he will have affairs. It has nothing to do with your holly trust.

A perfectly faithful husband won't fall down from the skies only because you trust him.
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This will be my last reply to all.

I hate to say it... Not all but many women here only care about themselves - I first, I want, I everything, mean, stubborn,controlling and selfish.

I joined this website to exchange experiences.
My spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, there's not much thing I can do.

In my culture, we say such beauty is only skin-deep like fair without and foul within. Rather let her stay as your lover than your wife, unless you want to spend the rest of your life in a pitfull that she has prepared for you. She is always ready to pack and go dumping you in the pit.

It's your free will to make your bed together with her and now you must lie on it. She could be hot and fun but you will throw good money after bad later on. So better a finger off than aye wagging.

Next time, if you want to re-married, you will be more careful and think twice.

Ciao a tutti!

Guys, look out! you don't want become one of victim like those in Texas: http://www.ejfi.org/DV/dv-115.htm

No, it's not ok, I am a Chinese, at middle 30's, grow up in china. My friends from 20's to 60's. When the husbands or boyfriends have affair. They all finished relationship. It all depends on your education, and financial. When you raise as a independent women, you will not allow this to happen.not culture, it was a 100 years ago, women depends on man. agriculture culture. Not today.