I growed up in Taiwan where many women would close an eye to their husbands' affairs.
At least in my generation and my mother's generation. My mom has told me, "Men always want to be men, it's not a big deal for them to have some fun as long as they know where the limit is, and they are still good husbands and fathers."
I graduated from a Christ College that gave me a chance to study Bible and I have become a christian ever since.
I believe "Love Can Overcome." and "There's Nothing You Can't Forgive in Your Family."
In the past, I'd been struggled and heart broken. I'd cried in endless lonely nights. I cried in pain and prayed to God to bless me with a faithful husband and I prayed to God to protect my marriage. Sometimes, I had to pray very hard to fall into sleep.
It'd been a long time of waiting for a miracle. I was tired and sick. Nothing but hate had englufed me. I was about to get even on my husband - why I don't just go and have affair? I anyhow chose a man on the internet to get even. I was almost going cross that line of cheating.
A voice said to me, "Just wait for a while." So I listened to that voice and postponed my cheating plan to put into action.
Then my marriage situation got worse and worse, my husband and me were almost hitting the road of a broken marriage when I discovered my husband in love with a woman from the internet. He wrote her love letters and talked shit behind my back. He told her I treated him like shit and he was ready to pack and go for her.
I confronted him with my heart broken and as usual, not surprisingly, he apologised to me... I really didn't know how to trust him....So, I decided to run away from home... That day, my husband came back from work and he couldn't find me. He went on the street to search me. He found me, begging me to go home.
I told my husband I don't have hope in our marriage and better we get a divorce because this time, he fell in love. It's not just a stupid affair for fun. It had gone cross my limit and I really wanted to give up and go fuck someone else. I was full of range.
When I finally calm down, a voice told me - be humble and always have hope in your husband.
I decided to listen to that voice again and forgive my husband again.
But this time, I wanted to make a difference.
I want a happier life for myself. Hense, I started to take many courses and enrolled myself in a gym. I got myself busy.
I learnt bellydance.
I lost weights in the gym.
I went shopping everyday.
I became more beautiful.
I don't nag and I don't cry.
I watch my attitude when I need to talk to my husband.
I still do my duties as a mother and as a wife.
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I didn't trust him completedly and always had a double on him, after 2 years, I didn't find anything wrong - he always rushes home after work and he spent all his holidays with me and family. He has corrected his mistakes and he's been a best husband I can ever wish for.
Relationship is a big topic and I'm not a professional consultant.
I'm just a wife who would love to share some simple facts.
I name myself "dumbwife" as an exemplifying irony to convey a meaning that is the opposite of its literal meaning. Dumbwife has different views.
My ideas of "not manipulating a husband" and "forgiving your husband's cheating" have attracted many arugments from my own gender. Some of them would just go directly insult me, such as, Dumbwife has a dick...
Nevertheless, I still want to encourage you to forgive your spouse and become a more beautiful person for your spouse. I know many American women. They are soft, polite and loving. Some of them have fogiven their spouses and they're doing well so far.
http://marriage.about.com/b/2010/05/17/improve-your-health-by-forgiving-your-spouse.htm
