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Is Your Husband Gay? A Christian How-to-Tell Guide

 
 
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 09:30 am
This has to be the most unintentionally funny thing I have read it a while. I wish I'd known about that porn flag when I was in the Navy. I guess all those guys were in the closet.

http://christwire.org/2010/08/is-my-husband-gay/
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 09:31 am
@engineer,
I like the pretty paisley background....
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 09:40 am
@engineer,
Surely, that whole article is satire.

Quote:
Does he volunteer to mentor in all-male groups?

...

Natural men have a certain amount of grit about them. They sweat and they smell.

...

5) Gym membership but no interest in sports
Gay men use the gym as a place to socialize and to have secret liaisons in the bathrooms. They like to work out their bodies without the competition of sports play. Afterward, they use the showers and steam rooms to engage in sexual activity beyond the prying eyes of women. If your man returns from the gym too exhausted to talk or have sex, that is a worrisome sign.

...

If there is a sudden interest in sodomy, sadomasochism, lubricants, role-play, sex toys or other non-traditional intercourse methods, this is clearly an indication of deep emotional abnormalities.

...

9) Travels frequently to big cities or Asia
Some husbands will spend a great deal of money traveling far from home to hide their deplorable same-sex actions. Big cities offer indulgence of every kind. From gay bars and clubs to prostitutes and sex bathhouses, a man seeking encounters can find them easily if he’s so inclined. Is there ever really a good excuse for a husband to visit Thailand or San Francisco without his wife?

...

11) Sassy, sarcastic and ironic around his friends
A man who is secretly engaged in homosexual activity with others may exhibit feminine qualities when they get together in a group. In a sense, he has “let his hair down” and this will be seen in excessive back talk and speaking with one’s hands.

12) Love of pop culture
It’s quite common for young men to enjoy the science fiction end of popular culture, but when your husband becomes overly obsessed with romantic and feminine shows, that is cause for alarm. Gossip websites, Glee and The Golden Girls are three well-documented icons of the gay movement that genuine heterosexual men avoid.

...


LMAO
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 09:48 am
@DrewDad,
Are you wearing a too small t-shirt?
DrewDad
 
  2  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 09:49 am
@Mame,
Only because I'm not overly-proud of my chest.
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 09:59 am
@DrewDad,
But you're mighty sarcastic.... hmmmm....
boomerang
 
  3  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 10:07 am
Quote:
12) Love of pop culture


OMG -- I'm a gay man!
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 10:16 am
Don't you just love this section, though?

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES FOR WORRIED WIVES:
My Spouse Struggles with Homosexuality
Top signs your husband is gay
Does my husband have the right to continue a gay lifestyle and marriage to me?
Gay Husband Check List
Is My Husband Gay?
The McGreevey Effect: Is Your Husband Gay?
I Think My Boyfriend is Gay
Is my husband gay? Clues to look for!!!
I Discovered My Husband Was Gay
How I found out my husband is gay and why I begged him to stay
0 Replies
 
engineer
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 02:44 pm
@boomerang,
I was wondering about Glee; now I know.
0 Replies
 
maxdancona
 
  2  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 04:11 pm
Do they have a version for same-sex marriages (how to tell if your husband is straight?)
sozobe
 
  2  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 04:14 pm
@maxdancona,
If they're smelly, that's a good sign.
0 Replies
 
Lash
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 05:54 pm
traveling to ......Asia. This was priceless.
roger
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 06:01 pm
This raises another question: suppose you decide he is, what are you suppposed to do about it?
0 Replies
 
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 06:04 pm
@Lash,
Lash wrote:

traveling to ......Asia. This was priceless.
yes, I've spent some time in asia, I suppose I'm suspect. (I only went there for the food, really!)
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 06:07 pm
@DrewDad,
Quote:
11) Sassy, sarcastic and ironic around his friends
A man who is secretly engaged in homosexual activity with others may exhibit feminine qualities when they get together in a group. In a sense, he has “let his hair down” and this will be seen in excessive back talk and speaking with one’s hands.


"Speaking with one's hands".

I never knew that was a sure sign!

Very Happy
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 06:09 pm
I recently told a guy that does some Christian teaching about my stay in San Francisco. He got a smirk and began to speak in a manner obliquely questioning my hetero qualities. Jerk. Oh, yeah. I had recently been in Japan and the Philipines at the time I stayed there.
Lash
 
  1  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 06:09 pm
@dyslexia,
Cowboy -
You wish you could hide your steamy heterosexuality from womankind - I'm sure you could use a break from our clawing and scraping to get next to you. But, no. I smell your manliness - you know, your Man Grit.
0 Replies
 
Lash
 
  3  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 06:11 pm
@edgarblythe,
Points the Gaydar gun at edgar!
0 Replies
 
mysteryman
 
  2  
Reply Thu 19 Aug, 2010 11:04 pm
I like the comment about being on the internet late at night.
I work 2nd shift, that is 3-11 here, so late at night is really the only time I can get on the internet.

Does that mean I am gay???
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Fri 20 Aug, 2010 01:55 am
You certainly are, mysteryman. Smile

... and so are all the rest of us, going by those tell tail signs. Very Happy
(And I'm not even a husband!)

Not that this should be seen as a bad thing, mind! Smile





0 Replies
 
 

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