Hey, Can A Woman "Ask To Get Raped"?

@firefly,

A lot of those situations seem to be major rage issues with women in the family, though this is not my field, just from reading.

Whereas, date rape, which is also - if not always, I don't know about the not always stuff, but I figure some are more resiliant - often traumatic with long lasting repercussions, probably starts with some erotic attraction, at least on the rapo's side, and maybe on the raped one's side. I only know about myself - I was not all gung ho, I actually wanted to see the damned paintings. I liked art, what I knew about it back then. He was cute, sort of, but married, with kids, a neighborhood cafe owner. I thought of him as a potential friend, someone to talk with, who was attractive but off limits. I didn't look at him with lamb eyes.

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@Rockhead,

Good idea, RH.

He won't do it, though, wants to be the provocateur.

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@Rockhead,

Quote:

so why don't you start your own thread, and see who shows up to play with you...?

the proper intersection of erotic passion and crime is currently a very heated and long running debate in America, and we have had over the last two years a wide ranging running debate here at a2k on the same, which is as it should be if a2k is a relevant arena for the issues of the day. If you are not interested go way.

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@firefly,

I've read about elderly being raped for decades. I don't follow statistics, is there a statistical increase?

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@hawkeye10,

I'm interested in most of it.

just not the part with you in it...

when we're done, let's talk about how not to get murdered.

it's a lot similar, I think.

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@Rockhead,

Quote:

just not the part with you in it...

more likely my position is what you can't handle, very possibly because I am right and you cant deal with the moral consequences of me being right and you being wrong. A whole lot of people are under the impression that a huge hammer is the right tool for this job, to deal with this problem. I don't think reality supports that opinion, but as we have seen with the war on drugs it often takes a very long time for unwanted truth to be acknowledged. Meanwhile I get to listen to closed minded people making idiotic arguments for bad policy.

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@hawkeye10,

or you're just a childish idiot.

let's vote on it...

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my apologies, firefly.

I'll go find something productive to do and quit turd wrangling now...

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@ossobuco,

I hesitate to bring this up just now, but I was later involved in a semi rape situation. (I don't mean to titillate, everyone here knows I'm near a hundred.)

This was on the occasion when I met someone I hoped to stay with, and needed to say goodbye to the fellow from work. (Yes, yes, I know, but this had gone on for a couple of years and he was single. I might have even warned him I met someone when he asked me over.)

So, we met as usual and I gave him the big speech, which was pretty forward in that I'd only been out with new guy once. Lots of genteel talk.
Then he took me by the hair and dragged me down the hall. I'd only seen that in cartoons.

This was a few seconds convulsing moment.
What did I do?
I started laughing.

So, it wasn't rape.

Of course, I was in a guy's place again. Bad me.

I had confidence I could get out of it, as in this case the heft ratio was different and I had a good physical chance, not to mention work related darts.

I think of it as a mixed scene, semi rape.

I see I am the only one saying anything personal. So it goes.

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@Rockhead,

A little turd wrangling is good once in a while.

Only provokes him, though.

If we had an ounce of brains between us all, we'd not engage.

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@ossobuco,

And you wonder why us poor simple men get confused!

Note if you would watched a few romance comedies from the 50s you will find none of them to be currently PC and the male leads would now be lock up for breaking all kinds of current laws.

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@BillRM,

Quote:

Note if you would watched a few romance comedies from the 50s you will find none of them to be currently PC and the male leads would now be lock up for breaking all kinds of current laws.

good point....that should have been my come back a couple of pages back when Firefly threw in that crap about how nothing has changed over the years. seriously, she has lost credibility with me because of this thread, she seems to value winning this debate more than she does being honest.

I smell desperation....

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@ossobuco,

Quote:

If we had an ounce of brains between us all, we'd not engage.

two problems with that approach

1) the truth is still out there even if you wont talk about it and try to get other people not to talk about it and piss all over people who do talk about it

2) if you will not engage is truth seeking because if offends you then you can no longer credibly claim to care about the truth.

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@BillRM,

I'm not confused. I would have fought on the second one as I did (well, no one would have noticed, I did to my ability) on the first. By the second I was stronger.

I'm sorry for y'all if this is confusing but it is clear to me, but the confusion is why I brought this up.

This particular instance was a strange tipping, but of course I'll buy it that I agreed. I'm not crying rape on it - I bring it up as an instance of what if, for others. From my own pov, I was slack on the job. which I say with mild humor.

I'll try not to post again unless someone else tells their own stories in question. I'm not interested in being an elderly sitting duck.

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@BillRM,

What is not simple?

No does actually mean no.

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@BillRM,

I lived in the fifties, hon.

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@ossobuco,

Quote:

In this morning’s discussion, Ms. Stepp said she did not embark on the story believing that there was such a thing as “gray rape.” She said, “For me, rape is rape. I really didn’t know what that term meant.”

But in the course of her reporting, Ms. Stepp said, she came across descriptions of “sexual encounters where usually both parties were very drunk and really didn’t know what they had said to each other the next morning.” In such cases, consent is uncertain. Such cases are more likely to emerge today, Ms. Stepp argued in the article, in an era when sexual boundaries and rules for women have loosened and when it has become socially acceptable for women to pursue casual sex.

“Girls go after guys just as often as guys go after girls these days,” Ms. Stepp said at the panel. In her article, she wrote, “The odd thing about the current equal-opportunity hookup culture is that a lot of guys may feel as uncomfortable and confused as their dates do when things end up in bed.”

http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/10/15/gray-rape-a-new-form-of-date-rape/

it would be helpful if you stopped with the "No means no" brush off line for long enough to consider the reality of sex and human interaction as apposed to how the feminist's law book says that it is supposed to be practiced.

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@BillRM,

I'm not going there, re rape in that last situation, though the hair dragging was not nothing. Picture that happening to you. I couldn't imagine it before it happened. I knew the man, and (pause) laughed. This was probably a mess of weakness, but I'm not interested in exploring that, online.

Oh, look, am I scaring BillRM?

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@hawkeye10,

Here is a goodie

Quote:

Chitra Raghavan, a John Jay psychologist who conducts research on intimate-partner violence and rape, said she did not accept the article’s argument that it has become socially acceptable for women to pursue casual sex.

“I would respectfully disagree that women have been sexually empowered to hook up,” Dr. Raghavan said. “What’s happened is that women are not legislated anymore. There’s a huge difference for it to be legal for women to pursue sex and for it to be socially acceptable for women to pursue sex.”

Many studies have shown that rapes often do not involve physical violence or coercion, because the mere threat or potential for physical harm is enough to make victims submit, she said

http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/10/15/gray-rape-a-new-form-of-date-rape/

So once upon a time rape was the violent taking of a woman sexually, or when consent clearly was not granted, and now rape can mean also that he woman imagines potential harm to her if she says no, so she says yes.

I really have no desire to become a criminal because of a woman's imagination, I have too much experience with that particular feminine trait to not see a problem here.

It is not credible for the women of a2k to claim that no one who is not an evil man who would force himself on a woman could possible have any run ins with the new rape laws....Rape need not have anything to do with a man's actions under these new abominations, these feminist driven laws which are a clear assault upon men.

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@hawkeye10,

it is too bad the Philforum folk evacuated, I bet a few of them would not let the moral umbrage against the question of rape law reform scare them from the subject. We might have done better at spreading the disinfectant called truth around this thread.

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Hey, Can A Woman "Ask To Get Raped"?

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