25
   

Hey, Can A Woman "Ask To Get Raped"?

 
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 07:59 am
Quote:
they were talking to my boobs.


I get annoyed (and embarresed) with myself when i notice i'm doing that. I feel my eyes just kinda slipping down and have to make a conciouse effort not to.
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 08:23 am
@dadpad,
Good post.

You make some good distinctions.
dadpad
 
  0  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 08:27 am
@sozobe,
*Looks at soz's boobs*
Oh sorry
sozobe
 
  2  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 08:34 am
@dadpad,
Can men ask to get whapped upside the head? Why yes they can.
dadpad
 
  2  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 08:38 am
@sozobe,
lol
Mumpad saw what i wrote and took care of it for you soz.
0 Replies
 
aidan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 08:49 am
@snood,
Quote:
No, I don't think a woman can "ask" to be raped, but sometimes I think they can push the limits of good common sense as it relates to their own responsibility for safety.


That's unfortunately true, and I don't know if it's on this thread or the other thread that Hawkeye was talking about treating sex offenders before they offend - watching for the signs, etc., etc. and taking care as a 'collective' to make sure that person doesn't grow up to offend, but I'd love to know how we can do that.

How can we identify a rapist before he rapes? Because that would just be wonderful if it were possible. But barring that, I DO think these people who do this **** should have the book thrown at them because they are stealing not only sex, but a woman's sense of safety, security, freedom, etc. from her for the rest of her life.
And it's not only that specific woman's sense of safety, security , freedom etc. that is gone forever - it effectively limits the sense of safety, security, freedom, etc. of any woman who hears of it.

Coincidentally enough, my daughter just told me that her seventeen year old friend had bought her a ticket to a music festival as a surprise for her birthday and then asked if she go. I told her she should have had her friend ask before she bought the ticket because I wasn't going to let her go. This is a different festival - but this is exactly what I was afraid would happen to her, and the fact that it happened to two other girls and not her doesn't change the fact that she cannot do what she should be able to do without fearing being raped. It makes me SO ANGRY:
Quote:

Police arrest 19-year-old over SECOND alleged rape at Latitude music festival
By Andrew Levy
Last updated at 3:11 PM on 18th July 2010
Videos Add to My Stories Return toA second teenage girl has been raped at a major music festival that is hugely popular with families.
The 17-year-old was camping at the Latitude Festival in Suffolk when she was attacked by a man inside a tent.

Just 24 hours earlier, a 19-year-old woman was raped by a man in front of a group of his friends when she became lost while looking for a toilet.
The four-day event is normally guarded by private security guards but police began patrols following the second attack in an attempt to curb fears among festival-goers.

Sales consultant Belinda Ward, 25, of Lavenham, Suffolk, said: 'The whole site was already covered in police leaflets appealing for information after the first rape.
Scroll down for video
Enlarge Family event: Police are investigating after two women were allegedly raped at the traditionally laid-back Latitude Music Festival in Suffolk

'Now everyone is left reeling after this second rape. I'm horrified it can happen once, let alone twice.
'Parents send their teenage girls off to these summer music festivals to enjoy themselves in a safe environment with their mates, not to come home having been raped.
'All the girls are pretty scared but there's been quite a few police here now. I've been to a few festivals and I've never seen police like this.'

The Latitude Festival, near Southwold in Suffolk, has fans of all ages because of its broad choice of music - acts this year include Tom Jones and Corinne Bailey Rae - and the fact it is largely free of the binge drinking and drug taking that blight other similar events.
Fun-loving: The crowd watching Laura Marling performing on the Obelisk Stage at the Latitude festival, near Southwold
The 17-year-old was assaulted at midnight on Friday, shortly after the headline performance of Florence and the Machine.
The girl, from Suffolk, reported what had happened to police the following afternoon after fleeing the festival and going home.
Officers later visited the tent where the attack happened after the victim's friends led them there.
A 19-year-old man from Essex was arrested at the campsite that evening and taken to Lowestoft police station.

The earlier rape happened on Thursday night when the victim, from Norwich, Norfolk, left her tent to find a toilet and asked a group of men for directions.

They offered to show her the way but some of the group left and the rest walked the teenager away from the path and into a dark area surrounded by trees.
Enlarge Festival goers watch Ballet Black performing on The Waterfront stage at the Latitude festival, which has been overshadowed by the attack

A number of them then grabbed her and she was raped by at least one, possibly against a tree.
Police are hunting a white man in his 20s who is around 5ft 7ins tall with a medium build and has dark, curly hair and a cockney accent.

Suffolk Police do not believe the two attacks are linked but took the decision to add their patrols to the on-site private security, which was also increased.




0 Replies
 
dyslexia
 
  2  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 09:58 am
ok time for my usual rant; yes rape is rape an ugly crime against both individuals and society. It's godawful. there are no excuses. BUT when it comes to crimes, sexual crimes, against women, we need to look directly at uncle billy, grandpa jack, preacher amos, the teachers aide in the classroom and that very nice neighbor and family man that lives next door. They are, in the main, the perps.
0 Replies
 
Chumly
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 11:34 am
Quote:
In criminal law, rape is an assault by a person involving sexual intercourse with another person without that person's consent
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape

The question: if either party at any time during a sexual activity, informs the other party they wish to stop, but this does not happen. Was there a rape?

Example: Mrs. Chumly is feeling very amorous indeed, but I'm not overly inclined (pun). She promises to do all the work so even though I tell her I'm not really interested. I let her have her way with me untill...about 20 seconds before she is satisfied I tell her I do not want to continue, however she does anyway. Was there a rape?
hawkeye10
 
  -2  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 12:32 pm
@Chumly,
Quote:
Was there a rape?
of course...even better if she tells you that if you don't do it now then you are not getting any for a week then the whole thing was rape, because she pressured you into it, according the law she used force. Also, if when you resisted she told you that you where a balless wonder if you cant do your wife properly then the whole thing was rape, because she used force.

0 Replies
 
Intrepid
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 03:14 pm
@JTT,
JTT wrote:

Quote:
thus sexual indoctrination programs such as "just say no" are an abomination.


I thought that was a drug program thing.


If you are going to quote something. QUOTE THE PERSON WHO SAID IT..... NOT ME

You surely do act the idiot. Wait...maybe it's not acting. hmm
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  -4  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 03:26 pm
@edgarblythe,
There is an interesting case I hear of concerning a couple having intercourse willingly and in the middle of it she make some statement about needing to go home.

The man then did not pull out at once and ended up with being convicted of rape!!!!!!!!
hawkeye10
 
  -3  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 04:01 pm
@BillRM,
Quote:
The man then did not pull out at once and ended up with being convicted of rape!!!!!!!!
True, current rape law allows women to toy with men, with drastic consequences if men do not go along. I am more concerned that current law hangs men out for rape if after the act the woman decides she should not have done it, if she then refuses to take responsibility for her behaviour (takes the victim role) and claims that it was the man's fault that anything happened. She will find a ready audience for this story line, and given the taboo against "blaming the victim" even asking what part the woman played in what happened is at least impolite if not out right taboo.
Intrepid
 
  2  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 05:08 pm
@hawkeye10,
If you are that paranoid.. Get it in writing first.
BillRM
 
  -2  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 05:42 pm
@firefly,
http://www.nationalcenterformen.org/page17.shtml

When Is It Rape?
In February of 2007, Time magazine published an article entitled "A Time Limit on Rape." The article reported on a Maryland case in which a boy, age 16, and a young woman, age 18, had sex in a car. The boy was accused of rape because, after the beginning of consensual sex, he didn't immediately withdraw when his female partner told him to stop. According to Time, "The accuser and the defendant agree that after he began to penetrate her and she wanted him to stop, he did so within a matter of seconds and did not climax."

When asked at trial how long the young man remained inside of her after she told him to stop, she answered, "About five or so seconds." He said he stopped immediately. Astonishingly, a jury convicted him of first-degree rape.

NCM executive director, Mel Feit, was quoted in the Time article: "At a certain point during arousal, we don't have complete control over our ability to stop. To equate that with brutal, violent rape weakens the whole concept of rape." Many people, men and women, responded to Mel's quote by sending us angry e-mails but, of course, a five second delay can't possibly be the same as a violent sexual assault. The angry e-mail and the jury's verdict revealed how a virulent victim-feminist ideology can overwhelm reason and common sense.

Our presence in Time led to dozens of other media opportunities for us, mostly on talk radio and in newspapers. In particular, Tony Nazzaro was quoted in the Baltimore Sun and Mel was a guest on the "Howard Stern Show". As a result of this media exposure a few hundred men and their families who needed help found NCM's counseling program and benefited from the guidance they probably would not have received anywhere else.

A Maryland Appeals court subsequently reversed the boy's conviction on the grounds that a rape could not occur once sexual intercourse had begun. But in April of 2008 the Maryland Supreme Court reversed the Appeals Court and reinstated the boy's conviction.

The Baltimore Sun re-interviewed NCM and reported on our position as follows:

"Mel Feit, director of the National Center for Men, based in Long Island, N.Y., said the facts of [this] case have been lost in the larger argument about a woman's right to say no.

"'The courts got it wrong then, and they are getting it wrong now,' said Feit, who has followed the Maryland case. 'There is no way that anyone is ever going to convince me that a five-second delay is first-degree rape.'

"He said that he, too, believes that a woman should be able to withdraw consent during sex. But he said the evidence showed that [the boy] did comply with the victim's demand to stop and that the jury in the case 'threw common sense out the window' when they convicted him.

"'This is a dangerous ruling,' he said. 'What the court is saying is that every act of sexual intercourse in Maryland is potentially a rape, and if a man doesn't stop on a dime, he's going to jail.'"

For NCM, this case raises several interesting questions for further discussion:

1.) How can the legal system fail to distinguish between a delay of about five seconds and a violent sexual assault? Have the courts been overrun by the forces of political correctness?

2.) Why do so many people want to see the young man in this case remain in prison? (He was sentenced to fifteen years, five of which must be served.) What kind of social pathology is driven by such an apparent hostility for men and male sexuality?

3.) The Sun quoted the legal director of the Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault: "[This ruling] says that, yes, women do have the right to make decisions about something as intimate as sexual intercourse." When will public discussions about sexuality recognize that, in this culture, women already make most of the decisions about sexual intercourse?

4.) Sexually intimacy involves making another person's needs more important than your own. Are there times, during sexual intercourse, when consent cannot be withdrawn?
What are the responsibilities that intimate partners have to one another?

Since the article appeared in The Baltimore Sun, NCM representatives have discussed the issues raised by this case on talk radio shows in Baltimore and Cincinnati and on a nationally syndicated show hosted by Bill Cunningham.

In the early 1990's, NCM introduced our Consensual Sex Contract in order to provoke public discussion about false accusation of rape. Sadly, it seems that the issues we raised nearly twenty years ago are still relevant.




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Eorl
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 06:00 pm
@aidan,
aidan wrote:

Wanting to have consensual sex in no way equates with wanting to be raped.

Again, I would ask- by this reasoning to what extent do women have to adjust their dress and behavior before someone will say, 'She in no way contributed to the fact that that man nullified her rights as a human being and took what he wanted from her'.

How about if she's at the beach and she's wearing a bikini instead of a one piece?

I'm not willing to go one step down that road.


Couldn't agree more. That road leads to the burqa.
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  -2  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 06:55 pm
@Intrepid,
Quote:
If you are that paranoid.. Get it in writing first.
in cases where the state removes the woman's right to consent after the fact at trial getting it in writting is no more useful to avoid a rape conviction than is her having screamed "oh yes baby, give it to me!" Ditto for when the woman claims that she changed her mind two seconds after signing said statement.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 07:32 pm
Like I said before, I don't know anyone who would do/has done that, so who the heck are you hanging out with??

On the issue with that young fellow, though... I agree with the Appeals Court - that was not 'rape', and it isn't rape if a woman changes her mind once they're engaged in sex. It's she's changed her mind (can't imagine why a woman would do that, but...), but it's not 'rape', per se. It was consensual, not forced.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 07:32 pm
Like I said before, I don't know anyone who would do/has done that, so who the heck are you hanging out with??

On the issue with that young fellow, though... I agree with the Appeals Court - that was not 'rape', and it isn't rape if a woman changes her mind once they're engaged in sex. It's she's changed her mind (can't imagine why a woman would do that, but...), but it's not 'rape', per se. It was consensual, not coerced.
Intrepid
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 07:35 pm
@Mame,
I agree with you on both counts
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sun 18 Jul, 2010 07:39 pm
@Intrepid,
We should be on a jury together Smile
0 Replies
 
 

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