Hey, Can A Woman "Ask To Get Raped"?

@firefly,

firefly, terrific post overall

most importantly

...

firefly wrote:

Hi, onevoice, welcome to A2K.

I hope you'll remain at A2K and join some other threads as well.

I very much agree that onevoice brings a fresh voice and perspective to A2k and I've appreciated her (?) shaking a few of our minds up a bit since arriving.

1 Reply

@firefly,

Thank you firefly. Smile

Unfortunately for people like that who wish to drive me or anyone else back to an emotional place merely to get a rise out of me/them, thinking that will further prove their point, it won't work. Their opinion of my life has no effect on me personally, as I have dealt with my issues and left them in the past, where they belong. My desire is help people. Though this thread is five years old, rape still does happen, and there is still validity to the conversation because someday, someone might happen upon this, as I did, and they may need to hear some of the positive things this thread is about. This is a good thread, with a few bad apples hanging around to try to spoil it for no good reason. Be assured I will be ready and waiting for that day and will swoop right in without hesitation to defend the one they would try to destroy. Much like Izzy and a few others have done for me. Thanks guys. Smile

Fear not. I am going nowhere. I knew there were good people here at A2K! And actually this whole thing worked out for my benefit in showing out the good apples too! Smile

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@ehBeth,

Thank you ehbeth. That means a lot to me. Smile

And yes, I am a her!

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@onevoice,

You are certainly correct--rape still does happen. All too often.

In some places, it is alarmingly on the increase.

Quote:

Rapes are skyrocketing in New York City
By July 14, 2015

Rapes have spiked citywide, disturbing new NYPD data reveal.

In the week ending Sunday, rapes skyrocketed a staggering 105.9 percent compared to the same period last year, and are up 22 percent over the past 28 days, the statistics show.

For the year, rapes are up 4 percent, according to the NYPD data.

The pattern continued Monday when an 82-year-old Brooklyn woman was raped at knifepoint in Coney Island, police said.

The woman was cleaning in front of her home on Coney Island Avenue south of the Belt Parkway at 1:40 a.m. Monday when a homeless man walked in, cops said.

When she entered the bedroom, Asa Robert, 18, jumped out with a knife and demanded cash — then raped her and fled at 4 a.m. with a bag of clothing and an umbrella, officials said. The woman was taken to Kings County Hospital in stable condition.

“This is an incredibly heinous crime, something that no society and no city can tolerate,” Police Commissioner Bill Bratton said Tuesday.

“What that woman suffered and endured, nobody should have to suffer or endure anytime or anywhere in this city. It’s a very violent, vicious, depraved individual that we are seeking and we need to get him off the streets very, very quickly,” Bratton added.

Also Monday, a 52-year-old woman used Skype to call for help after she was raped in her Borough Park home, cops said.

The woman opened the door at Fort Hamilton Parkway near 51st Street for two men she believed to be gas company employees. Once inside, one held her down as the other sexually assaulted her at about 3 p.m., police said. She was bound, but managed to free one hand, which she used to Skype a pal, who alerted cops, police said.
http://nypost.com/2015/07/14/elderly-woman-raped-amid-recent-citywide-surge/

The description of what was done to the 82 year old woman mentioned in the above article is horrendous. It is described here...
http://abc7ny.com/news/suspect-arrested-in-rape-of-82-year-old-woman-in-brooklyn/857564/

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@onevoice,

Lord Firefly must love you supporting her position that most if not all men are either rapists or would be rapists who must be condition/taught not to rape.

Even when men are found not guilt by a jury of their peers she had stated she does not care as those men was clearly guilty jury or no jury.

In any case, I agree with you that sadly rape does happen the only thing I question is how likely one woman, IE you, could be a victim over and over and over by different men.

You pin my internet bullshit meter all the way over.

2 Replies

@BillRM,

BillRM wrote:

Lord Firefly must love you supporting her position that most if not all men are either rapists or would be rapists .

Total bollocks. She'd never said that, or anything like that. We men have absolutely nothing to worry about. You don't speak for men because nobody in their right mind would ever describe you as such.

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@BillRM,

Wow... Another skeleton has come out screaming, "Guilty conscience! Looky here! I have a guilty conscience!" You might want to put all those skeletons away Bill. They really are making you look bad.

1 Reply

@onevoice,

My looking bad?

Sorry but as I stated you could be hit by five lightening bolts in your life or raped by five men or so but the odds of that happening to anyone woman is slight indeed.

You are pinning my bullshit meter all the way over my friend.

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@BillRM,

Glad to hear I am having an effect on you Bill. Smile

So at what point will you realize your opinion of me has no bearing at all on who I am? You can't hurt me Bill. I won't let you, because I am no longer a victim. Unlike you. I am so sorry for whatever it is that happened to you to make you this way. I wish I could help you. But until you are willing to acknowledge and accept whatever that was, you can't even help yourself. It saddens me that you may never get to know what it feels like to be at peace with yourself and your life. Which would allow you to be at peace with the world around you. Which you fully deserve, whether you ever believe that or not. Take care of yourself Bill. You are the only one who can.

1 Reply

@onevoice,

Quote:

I won't let you, because I am no longer a victim

Good for you. I have in my travels come across a whole lot of people who 10, 20, 30 years after being trespassed upon are still traumatized, it still controls their life. What a waste, what a poor choice. And it makes no sense, a rapist takes control from another person for minutes or hours, but who in their right mind allows the rapist to control their life for the next years or decades? What is the possible upside to that? All of these victim culture proponents who keep encouraging the raped to identify as victims piss me the **** off, and especially those who abuse them again by doing (and making sure the victim does) what they want them to do, often taking almost no interest in what the victim wants. THIS IS NOT HELPFUL.

I am all about recovery, about taking this terrible experience and processing it and making it a part of us in a helpful way, in a way that empowers us to go out into the world and make it a better place as we get what we want. Those who do this successfully tend to be some of the most wise and most strong people around.

If you are done with this process you no longer regret what happened to you. First it was not your choice, second it is a part of you and you know that you are great, and third it allowed you to learn how strong you are.

I am also about wanting to cut down on the amount of abuse, and I am very strange in that I have a few ideas other than using a hammer on the abuser after the abuse has already happened. Call me crazy but I would rather avoid having the abuse, I would prefer to use some other tool(s) so that will work to prevent the abuse from happening.

Welcome onevoice.

2 Replies

@hawkeye10,

Hawkeye do you buy this from this perhaps woman????????

I had in my fairly long live known women who had sadly been a victim of rape once and even twice but not four or five times by four or five men!!!!!!!!

Your bullshit meter is not moving over to maximum?

1 Reply

@BillRM,

Quote:

Hawkeye do you buy this from this perhaps woman????????

I am listening. TO this point she sounds like a typical former victim who has learned to be a survivor, and who is some way along the path of transforming the abuse into a positive part of her life.

Quote:

I had in my fairly long live known women who had sadly been a victim of rape once and even twice but not four or five times by four or five men!!!!!!!!

We covered that. It does not surprise me at all because it happens much more often than I would like to think. Keep in mind though that I am used to dealing with people who dont deal with their childhood abuse till they get to their 40's , when their lives are completely falling apart and their coping mechanisms learned at time of abuse completely fail them. Many times they have spent all of their teens, twenties and thirties in a large number of relationships, many of them abusive. Raking up a handful or two of sexual abuses during that time is not shocking. I never care too much about the number, any day is a great day to stop being a victim, and dwelling on the past does not have a lot of productive uses in healing.

Quote:

Your bullshit meter is not moving over to maximum?

So far onevoice seems a whole lot less full of **** than Firefly is. We shall see.

1 Reply

@hawkeye10,

Quote:

in a large number of relationships, many of them abusive.

Except for one boyfriend she was not in relationships with her "rapists" by her own story.

1 Reply

@hawkeye10,

Quote:

All of these victim culture proponents who keep encouraging the raped to identify as victims piss me the **** off...

Those who have been raped or sexually abused are victims--they are crime victims--and referring to them as "victims" does not diminish or disempower them in any way. It does not define them as damaged goods.

One reason you try to minimize the fact that those who have been sexually abused or raped are victims--crime victims-- is because you try to downplay the seriousness of the rapist's actions--you talk about 'sexual misadventures'' or "sexual misbehavior" as though what occurred was somewhat frivolous or only of little or mild or minor legal or emotional or moral transgression. You also continue to try to make the crime victim complicit or responsible for the legal violation committed against them.

On the other hand, you continue to promote those who are accused of rape, or actually prosecuted for it, as victims of abuse at the hands of the state. You decry "victim culture" only when it involves assisting those who you, in effect, feel should stop sniveling and "get over" and move on from their sexual assaults, but you actively promote your own brand of victim culture for rapists, or those accused of it, as well as for those accused of possession of child pornography, or sexual assault of those below the age of consent, or those who choose to sexually assault others who are too intoxicated or impaired to consent, etc. You have no problems at all embracing these lawbreakers as 'victims'. You've even resorted to claiming they are only trying to "satisfy their needs" as though rape, sexual assault, incest, pedophilia, etc., is all perfectly natural and somehow acceptable because it is connected to a biological or emotional 'need' or impulse--calling it a 'need' seems to make it a get-out-of-jail-free card for you. You don't want these offenders punished--spare them the hammer of law, give them another chance, go easy on them, etc.--you don't even want their victims to regret what happened to them. Rolling Eyes

.

Quote:

I am all about recovery, about taking this terrible experience and processing it and making it a part of us in a helpful way, in a way that empowers us to go out into the world and make it a better place as we get what we want...

Who is the "us" you are talking about? What "terrible experience" of a sexual nature have you personally gone through that you have made a part of yourself in a way that empowers you?

Read again what that young man did to that 82 year old woman and explain why he should be spared feeling the full hammer of the law for his horrendous actions.
http://abc7ny.com/news/suspect-arrested-in-rape-of-82-year-old-woman-in-brooklyn/857564/

Quote:

Call me crazy but I would rather avoid having the abuse..

We all would prefer to prevent sexual abuse/rape--it would be preferable to have no burglary, robbery, fraud, or arson, as well, but that sort of utopia isn't possible. When laws fail to have sufficient deterrent weight they still retain their punitive value--diminish the punitive effects and you dilute the deterrent effect as well.

One way to deter crimes of sexual abuse/sexual assault/rape is to insure that they are reported, investigated, and prosecuted, as consistently and swiftly as possible. These should not be crimes that can be committed with impunity because the probability of apprehension and punishment is low. That's why it is of such importance that the voices of victims of these crimes are now being listened to and afforded greater credibility. That's a major change that has taken place just during the time this thread has been running.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

How bout that onevoice, once you stopped telegraphing that you are a victim, once you became determined to not be a victim, have you been sexually victimized? It could happen, but usually it stops.

Getting passed out drunk with people they can not trust and having friends and mates who betray them is common for victims. It is not for survivors. Survivors have little antenna that start sounding the alarms "excuse me missy, this could go to a very bad place". and then they do something else because while rape did not destroy them and they know that it never could they have no interest in being raped again. If they need to be abused they get what they need in consensual relationships, BDSM is way more fulfilling than being a rape victim. If they are not interested in being abused then they go get what ever it is that do they want.

Part of growing up is learning to be honest about who we are and what we want, and learning to go about getting what ever it is that we want honestly. A lot of sexual abuse survivors have dark wants, and while we cant say for sure that they were there before the abuse they likely were. But it does not matter, we dont live in the past, we live in the here and now, with who we are now. Some go the other way, they dont ever want to see the erotic merged with the use of power ever again. Super, what ever floats their boats, if that is what the survivor wants then that is what they go get. And survivors, through experience having learned to be smarter than the average bear, have a way of getting what they want.

1 Reply

@BillRM,

Quote:

Sorry but as I stated you could be hit by five lightening bolts in your life or raped by five men or so but the odds of that happening to anyone woman is slight indeed.

I find it extremely difficult to believe that a grown "older" man would sit in a playground with around (5) kittens to attract young kids to come up to him.

Anyways. If you don't understand something Bill, then do me a favour, take the time to find out, to learn, to understand instead of being a one sided person who speaks from his own small mind. It has been stated over and over, once you have been abused, once someone has taken something valuable away from you and in this case and many others "childhood" non trust of any man, there goes that dream picture of finding someone like "Daddy" to marry, because you just don't trust men and obviously they aren't what you thought they were.. I think you kind of look over your shoulder repeatedly but alas to no avail. In most cases the lady in question and rightly so, should be able to, went out and socialised and as a result, these "things" decided to take. It can happen once, twice, ten times and more than likely as she told her first boyfriend and very rude of you to assume that he ran because he didn't want to be accused. He left more than likely because of his small mind, like yours, she was raped, had sex, he wanted a virgin or didn't want people to know he was with a rape victim that would in some kids eyes make him "non tough" the good guy. And, that's not cool when you are young.

Which brings me to a thought. You were always the good guy weren't you Bill. Yet, no girl liked that, therefore you. You were never accused of rape because you rarely had sex. But yet, those girls you liked, did pick the wrong guys and were used by them and that still, to today urks you. There was a special woman wasn't there? That you loved. But, alas what, she was raped? It's here fault for not picking you, for not picking the "good guy" and it angered you, angers you now, in remembering that's why you continue to haunt these threads. Well guess what? Let it go. You still haven't found what you are looking for, was the latest, the Nurse, the woman you cheated with the one? I'm thinking your problem is, women passed you over and over and over and over. Therefore if they drink they deserve to be raped because you were there once for someone and they ignored you.

Stop looking at everything as "personal" and respect other people, feel other people, understand them, sympathize with them. I guess that's way to much to ask, as I think about those kittens and kids. Little kids.

And your reply will be that, that is bullshit. Not true. I understand. Now do you?

0 Replies

@firefly,

Quote:

That's why it is of such importance that the voices of victims of these crimes are now being listened to and afforded greater credibility. That's a major change that has taken place just during the time this thread has been running.

Other major changes:

men are increasingly being abused by the legal system and by the mere accusation from a single female that they are not "good guys",

the massive ramp up of the use of power in porn.

The young are having less sex

The popularity of BDSM is surging

there are more sluts than ever

the feminists program of sexual regulation is being called into question, along with their asserted "facts".

"bad" erotic thoughts are increasingly a crime (and just wait for all hell to break loose when the feminist/state cooperative tries to make BDSM a crime)

females are increasingly bitches in general and abusive to their men in particular.

Men are increasingly meek cucks

2 Replies

@hawkeye10,

Quote:

and by the mere accusation from a single female that they are not "good guys",

A good guy does not rape... Really quite simple isn't it?

Quote:

The popularity of BDSM is surging

there are more sluts than ever

In your world. However, what is the definition of a slut? Someone who is loose? Therefore has sex willingly? I believe that is the case.

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@hawkeye10,

How come you can't focus on those who have a need to abuse, and sexually assault, rather than those on the receiving end of the assaults and abuse?

Because individuals have been the victims of sexual assaults, even multiple sexual assaults, does not mean they are complicit in seeking out or eliciting such violations. That's more "blame the victim" crap of the sort you and BillRM wallow in as expressions of your basic hostility toward women.

Quote:

Survivors have little antenna that start sounding the alarms "excuse me missy, this could go to a very bad place"...

Your half-ass advice to a survivor of sexual assaults, like onevoice, smacks of condescension and insincerity. Fortunately onevoice seems sharp enough to see right through you, and the self-serving nonsense you are trying to engage her in. Her survivor's antenna has already pegged you and BillRM as creeps who could try to take her "to a very bad place" in terms of a discussion--something she's not likely to let you do.

You need onevoice to respond to you so you can use her as a foil to peddle the BS you try to pass off as "ideas". You obviously think women like that are easily manipulated, particularly if you throw in a little flattery. Laughing

I think you're going to find you're barking up the wrong tree in her case--just because she's a newbie to A2K doesn't mean she hasn't already caught onto what we old-timers have known about you for years.. Laughing

1 Reply

@hawkeye10,

Quote:

Other major changes:

men are increasingly being abused by the legal system and by the mere accusation from a single female that they are not "good guys",

the massive ramp up of the use of power in porn.

The young are having less sex

The popularity of BDSM is surging

there are more sluts than ever

the feminists program of sexual regulation is being called into question, along with their asserted "facts".

"bad" erotic thoughts are increasingly a crime (and just wait for all hell to break loose when the feminist/state cooperative tries to make BDSM a crime)

females are increasingly bitches in general and abusive to their men in particular.

Men are increasingly meek cucks

What a colossal crock of arrogamt crap you are tying to peddle. Laughing

I really don't think you live in the same world of morality and caring sexual relationships as do most of us--yours is mainly defined by your porn sotted erotic fantasy life, and by your own admittedly kinky needs for sexual satisfaction, and how others can be used to get what you want in that regard. When those are the main values espoused by a 50+ year old man, it's rather pathetic, and, worst of all for you, rather boring to listen to. You're not provocative, you've become rather boring and predictable.

0 Replies

Hey, Can A Woman "Ask To Get Raped"?

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