Hey, Can A Woman "Ask To Get Raped"?

bobsal's article is a lot more relevant to the topic of this thread than the absolute false crap you posted about Cosmo magazine, and who, and why, was demanding that its covers be shielded.

That's because you are so desperate to use unnamed, unidentified, alleged "feminists" as convenient scapegoats, in order to bolster your BS thinking, that you jump to erroneous conclusions and you just make things up. You have no interest in truth, everything you've been alleging about "feminists" is pure fabrication, which is why you fail to furnish specific names, dates, and substantial evidence to support your assertions. And I've just exposed your BS lies...

Yes you are wrong about that...

Cosmo magazine, for instance, is a perfect example of a sex-positive feminist publication--offering articles on health, beauty, and sexual empowerment--all of which are geared toward helping young women to look and feel their best, in all areas, including sexually, which has always been the appeal of this basically feminist-toned publication.

You're a pathetic liar--and not a very good one. You just destroyed your credibility with those outright lies about feminists and Cosmo magazine, when it was actually right-wing religious sources, and not feminists, objecting to Cosmo's covers. And you really look like a jerk with all of that egg on your face now.

That statement assumes that I had credibility before that, an assertion that you have denied dozens of times over the years. As per usual we find you incapable of speaking truth.

So, you're saying that the truth is you have always lacked credibility.

All right, I won't disagree with you about that.

Here's Why Rape Survivors Suffer 'Second Assault'

By Gena Smith

WeNews commentator

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

When we speak up about the crimes perpetrated upon us people blame us for wearing the wrong clothes, ruining the attacker's career. I think we are punished by a cultural belief that the world is just and only bad people have bad things happen to them.

rape protest sign
Credit: Richard Potts on Flickr, under Creative Commons

(WOMENSENEWS)-- What happens when the public and media re-victimize women or men who are sexually abused or raped? Well, and I know the answer personally, it says to the victim, "Welcome to the second worst nightmare of your life."

As a female combat veteran of Iraq suffering from military sexual trauma, or MST, I have first-hand experience with the culture of "victim blaming" or the "second assault."

When a soldier reports rape he or she is forced to navigate hell in an (often futile) attempt to win justice. This makes it very tempting to trade any search for justice to save your reputation and protect your personal safety. And as we know, bailing on legal justice is not just a temptation for soldiers, but for all sexual assault victims.

I knew and served with an introverted and shy 19-year-old female soldier who was raped by another, more senior, soldier in her unit. The predator was married and would, in front of our entire unit, address all females under his command as "whores" and "sluts."

When she turned to her commanding officers for help they threatened to charge her with adultery, telling her it must have been "consensual." In the military even if you are not married you can be charged with adultery if you sleep with a married soldier. So she backed off, but was soon transferred out of the unit, while the rapist eventually received his obligatory slap on the wrist. The rapist was assigned to 45 days extra duty and 45 days loss of pay. This was the only punitive action taken against him.

Of the many "blame the victim" statements I heard during this episode, the one that stuck with me was when the commanding officer told another, "She is going to ruin his career. He's been in the army for a long time and is close to being able to retire, and this girl thinks she can just rob him of that?"

That same tender urge to protect the perpetrator is also prevalent in civilian rape cases, of course. But there can be some key distinctions between what civilian and military rape victims suffer in the way of being blamed.

For instance, in the case of this young woman's assault, what I didn't hear was, "She deserved it because she was wearing those skimpy desert camo pants and shirt, along with her helmet and body armor."
'Overly Sensitive'

I was raped in Iraq during a time my unit was regularly engaged with the enemy. When I told my commanding officer about what happened to me he actually rolled his eyes at me, as if that was not the time or place for such a trivial topic. He then told me I was being "overly sensitive."

Being raped was a nightmare come real. But nearly as terrifying was having almost everyone in my living and working circle turn on me when they found out I reported it. Every last shred of personal safety felt as though it had been ruthlessly stripped from me. I was in a combat zone. I was shunned for the rest of my deployment. The men with whom I fought side-by-side-- who knew my dedication to the fight--suddenly treated me like I was less than trash.

Why do people turn on rape victims?

During the 1960s, Dr. Melvin Lerner, a renowned social psychologist, championed his Just World Theory, which suggests humans have a need to believe the world is a fair and just place, and we get what we deserve. For instance, if your house is blown away by a tornado you deserved it because you chose to live in a storm-prone location. Or, if you are a single mother who works at McDonald's making $9 an hour, you deserve it because poor people like you are lazy.

Bad things only happen to bad people is another way to define Lerner's theory. Americans have a deeply ingrained belief that "you reap what you sow," and in such a sexually charged society, it's so easy to blame the female who was simply dressed for the summer weather. Lerner believed blaming the victim is not cultural, but instead an ingrained defense mechanism to cope with an unjust world when we want to believe so much that it is just.
Children Impacted Too

Perhaps the worst aspect of re-victimization is that we have allowed it to infect our youngest, our children.

When a celebrity such as Rihanna is victimized kids post on Twitter that she must have done something bad to deserve being beaten. If that doesn't terrify you for the fates of your daughters, you need to open your eyes. If children believe one of their role models "deserved" to be beaten, then they will also believe they deserve beating too, if it happens to them.

We have to change the underlying belief system. It should start with the lawmakers, because it is the only way to change a system that was founded on the false premise that bad things only happen to bad people. Rape cannot be hidden in the guise of innocent mistakes made by fundamentally good people who were led astray by the victim.

Let me explain something. I never "had it coming." I never "asked for it." I was in uniform for crying out loud! I was not drunk or stoned. I was not flirting with anyone.

But all that is also beside the point. Getting buzzed on alcohol isn't asking to be raped. A short skirt is not consent for rape. Rape is not the result of "boys being boys." Rape is a crime and reprehensible.

Rape puts the Just World Theory on its head. The predator was in control of his or her actions. Not the opposite way around. As much as Americans are conditioned to believe it, "she" didn't "ask for it."

To the survivors I have this message. What happened to you was not your fault! Nothing you did or didn't do had the power to make the assailant attack you. You have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to feel guilty about and this doesn't make you less of a person. You aren't an object. You are a survivor and you don't have to be afraid.

Gena Smith pens a blog titled Regular Fury!

Would you like to Comment but not sure how? Visit our help page at http://www.womensenews.org/help-making-comments-womens-enews-stories.

Would you like to Send Along a Link of This Story? http://womensenews.org/story/rape/150818/heres-why-rape-survivors-suffer-second-assault

Some combination of not agreeing with the feminist/state cooperatives definition of rape, thinking the alleged victim is lying, thinking that the alleged victim is overly sensitive and thinking that the alleged victim acted poorly.

http://abc7.com/news/former-prep-school-senior-acquitted-of-felony-rape/960684/

This is a good window on what is wrong with our "justice" system in general and with sex law in particular. One disputed sexual encounter between a 19 year old and a 15 year old has the state laying in 4 felony charges with up to 71 years in prison. This is abuse. Making it even worse is that the state is doing it to young people who have not ever so far as we know made a sexual mistake before this one act that the state is looking at. One possibly bad act as a 19 year old, the threat of 71 years in prison, and a lifetime as a registered sex offender.

We need to stop this abuse of the citizens at the hands of the state. Now.

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/owen-labrie-former-student-elite-prep-school-acquitted-felony-sexual-n417836

I dont agree with the state using the presence of a gun to add kicker charges and penalties to crimes, but getting a 19 year old on extra charges because he used a computer to talk to a girl that was underaged and had sex with is bullshit. There is no way that using modern technology to communicate with people makes the crimes committed after worse than if only direct communication in person was used.

I also not that if sex laws were written as I suggest a 15 year old could consent to sex, and a person would need to be at least 20 before the state could file rape charges due to invalid consent.

6 high school football players sentenced in hazing case

Source: AP

NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. (AP) — Six of the seven football players accused of hazing and sexual assaulting four other teammates in a New Jersey high school locker room were placed on probationary terms, prosecutors announced Monday night.

Each of the Sayreville War Memorial players will also have to serve 50 hours of community service as part of their sentences, but they will not have to register as sex offenders.

The sentences were imposed by a Family Court judge after four of the six players pleaded guilty to child endangerment and hazing, Middlesex County Prosecutor Andrew C. Carey said. Those four were placed on probation for two years, while the two others received a year of probation following a Family Court trial.

Carey said the victims and their families were consulted about the plea deals.

FULL story at link.

Read more: http://bigstory.ap.org/article/be7b531b8e5e40adb5ade4b911180c99/6-high-school-football-players-sentenced-hazing-case

Man gets 10 yrs probation for sexually molesting 2 yr old, no sex offender registration required

in San Angelo, Texas.

SAN ANGELO, Texas - About 30 deputies mostly on horseback met a crowd of over 200 protesters on the front lawn of the Tom Green County Courthouse Monday morning.

People gathered around 8 a.m. to protest a recent plea agreement involving Thomas Boden and Jason Ferguson, assistant district attorney for the 51st Judicial District.

The protesters were made up mostly of women wearing pink holding posters and signs emblazoned with messages such as "Justice for Annabelle," "No excuse for rape or violence" and "This will never be ok."

The protest was peaceful, starting with speech from Karla Payne, executive director for the Concho Valley Rape Crisis Center. As the protest continued, one mother came up to the mike and spoke bluntly about the case and denouncing Tom Green policing authorities. This sparked a line of people speaking angrily about the case as well.

This is a developing story.

Link: http://www.gosanangelo.com/news/local-news/protestors-gather-at-courthouse_67255264


More from another article:

Last week Boden, 29, received 10 years deferred adjudication after pleading guilty to injury of a child, stemming from a January incident involving a 2-year-old girl. The plea agreement resulted in the dismissal of one charge of aggravated sexual assault of a child and a charge of indecency with a child by contact.

“There is no justice for the victim,” attendee Kay Hickey said Saturday. “They suffer for the rest of their life.”

Kendra Neumann and Kassia Jaramillo, social work students at Angelo State University, said the poster-making event helped bring the community together for a good cause and helped build awareness about an important issue.

“Ten years’ probation is a slap on the wrist,” Jarmillo said. “Our justice system is not harsh enough.”

When asked for comment, Assistant District Attorney for the 51st District Jason Ferguson said, “In this case, we were dealing with a child who was 2 years old at the time of the offense, no adult witnesses, but serious injuries. When we were looking at our options, my primary concern was for the best interest of the child, including considering what going through the rigors of trial preparation and testimony in front of a jury would be like for a toddler.”

Link: http://www.gosanangelo.com/news/local-news/protest-set-to-decry-mans-plea-agreement

Absolutely not. As someone who has been raped multiple times, I hope that what I have to say will add some value to this topic. (Not impying thete is no value to this already) After what I thought was the first time, I became quite promiscuous afterwards, thinking all the common thoughts. "It is my fault", "I could have prevented it by...", and worst of all, " There is nothing left to save."

It robbed me of my dignity. My self worth. It left me feeling alone and afraid, with no one to talk to, because I felt so ashamed and was certain I would get blamed. I told two people. One chose to walk away and never talk to me again, the other cried with me ss I told him and told me I didn't deserve it and I didn't really believe him. Internally I believed I did.

It took several years, and several more times of being raped for me to come to terms with what was happening to me and why. A few years after what I thought was the first one, I attempted to see a rape couneslor, and knowing I had no intention of returning after the first visit she recommend I read a book called, "I never called it Rape" by Robin... I don't remember her last name...

In the book it stated that 40% of women who are raped take the path I did. Promiscuity. I cannot tell you how heavy a burden that took off my shoulders at that time. Unfortunately it did not prevent me from making more bad decisions. I continued drinking with men I didn't know and as a result have been raped four more times. The most recent being about three years ago.

However, my bad decision making skills did not give one single man that did that to me the right to do that to me. Eventually I had to come to the realization that while they didn't have the right, I was in fact the one putting myself in that position, with the exception of the last two. One was my ex husband, and the other was a "friend" who was "helping" me get back on my feet from a whole different string of bad decisions.

Both men claimed to be "Christians". The "friend" was even a deacon and the treasurer of his church. In my mid 20's I went to a sexual abuse group that changed my life. I actually went through the process twice because even after the first time, I felt there was more I could gain.

Then a few years later I actually ran the group several times and it was quite rewarding to help others begin to overcome the obstacles sexual abuse brings in a persons life. You see, there are filters that any kind of abuse puts in a persons brain. It's like a ticker tape that runs over and over and over... Telling you that you are worthless, undesirable, unworthy, you deserve to be treated badly. The messages are endless, and are different for everyone.

Not only that though, the filters actually misconstrue most all information you are receiving. Causing you to hear one thing, primarily based on that constant ticker tape, when something completely different, and most often opposite, was actually said. It is a difficult process to overcome the emotional effects of any kind of abuse. Whether it be sexual, emotional, physical, or even spiritual. But it can happen.

It just takes commitment and a willingness to stop blaming out, and start looking in... So you can heal. So if anyone reads this someday and you are struggling because of it, please feel free to message me, if you just want a listening ear. I can do that. And I am more than willing to do so without anyone ever having to know you are talking to me. Talking about it is the first step.

How many times had you been hit by lightening bolts also?

It didn't take long for the turd patrol to show up.

That took a great deal of courage and I hope you can keep moving on, unfortunately they're are some on here who will hate you for it.

Sorry.

You are already wrong, you choose all that, the rape did not MAKE you do anything. You are being a victim here when you should be a survivor, you should be showing resilience and a refusal to be anymore victimized than the abuser demanded.

Ya, because you are the only one who can stop you from being a victim, and once you do that abusers rarely will be interested in you, they will go to someone who wants what they have to offer, that being abuse. Another option might be to still look out but look to God, though we are increasingly in a post Christian post religion society so that is not as likely as it used to be.

accepting the totality of the reality, to include any parts that you play in the creation of that reality, with vision and honesty is the next step.

It takes the required amout of courage to not be a victim. Super, but dont expect me to be handling out metals for doing what is required. And most people can actually do it, it is these ******* feminists who need victims to minister to that get in the way of healing a lot of the time, always demanding the right to victimize (and encouraging their partners the government to also victimize) sexual abuse victims.

Izzy of course only knows what little he knows, and he does not much like any other thoughts or ideas to show up in his experience.

I haven't figured out yet how to quote what people say in a post, but I am sure there has to be a way easier than this... Either way...

"You are already wrong, you choose all that, the rape did not MAKE you do anything. You are being a victim here when you should be a survivor, you should be showing resilience and a refusal to be anymore victimized than the abuser demanded."

My point was that is the feelings it brought up in me... At that time, when it happened. I, by no means, feel that way anymore. And haven't for years. Even after the most recent incident. I have forgiven every single one of them, including the one who raped me sometime before the age of 10... I still don't remember all the details of that one, which is fine by me.

"Ya, because you are the only one who can stop you from being a victim, and once you do that abusers rarely will be interested in you, they will go to someone who wants what they have to offer, that being abuse. Another option might be to still look out but look to God, though we are increasingly in a post Christian post religion society so that is not as likely as it used to be."

In all honesty, I fully believe God is the only reason I am still standing, but I refuse to put it out there as if God were the only source healing can come through.

"accepting the totality of the reality, to include any parts that you play in the creation of that reality, with vision and honesty is the next step."

That is exactly what I was trying to convey here. If I missed the mark, could you please explain how? Thanks.

WTF is wrong with you? People get bounced here for less than that. Shame, shame,shame.

Your mother weeps.

None. But strangely I have dreamed about it multiple times in my life. Once I was even below ground level when it happened!