Hey, Can A Woman "Ask To Get Raped"?

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He can't deal with the rape news stories because those reflect the reality of rape

I am concerned is how little compassion they have for actual victims, how much they demean woman, and how absolutely perverted they are.

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I am concerned is how little compassion they have for actual victims, how much they demean woman, and how absolutely perverted they are.

We either speak the truth or we do not, this is the only measure of our words that count for those who are not weak of mind and controlled by their emotions. It would be nice if you would show up with something else besides all of this emoting that you do, you know, facts and evidence.

I have compassion

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I have compassion

I dont detect on your part any compassion for the other 99%+ of the citizens, that is those who are not raped each year. Everybody's needs count, not just the victims.


EDIT: I routinely argue that we should do more for the victims, but I say that we should administer to what the victims feel that they need as apposed to the rape feminist agenda and the fulfilment of vengeance. I have no reason to feel guilt, and do not, for my level of support of victims.

In my experience of working with victims and their loved ones what is wanted by those who have been victimized is to feel whole again and to have some confidence that they will not be violated again.....seeing the abuser hurt by the collective in the criminal justice system hardly makes the top ten list, and yet this is where we place almost all of our effort. I also see that those who do prioritize hurting their abuser tend to do worse at healing. Putting more money and energy into getting abusers into the criminal system is not progress, so I dont care to put time and energy into that effort.

Factors influencing victims coping capacity
1. The woman's personality and her previous coping mechanisms influence her ability to cope with the rape.

Women with a past or current history of physical, psychiatric or social problems appear to be more likely to develop severe depression, psychotic behaviour, psychosomatic disorders, suicidal behaviour and acting out behaviour associated with alcoholism, drug abuse and/or sexual activity.

Social network support is a factor affecting the woman's coping capacity. Firstly that the woman has significant others in her social network. A number of women, particularly elderly widows who live alone, and whose friends have died, and family moved away, are socially isolated. This can intensify their feelings of alienation and powerlessness, and one of the tasks of the counsellor would be to build up social networks for these victims.

2. Secondly, these people need to be supportive. They need to allow the woman the opportunity to discuss the assault if she wants to and to listen to her. Some families and partners tell the woman "to forget it" refusing to accept the extent of the trauma. Other families become over protective, which may foster regression and dependency in the woman. This seems to occur particularly with adolescents who are in the process of separating from their parents. Some families respond by rejecting the woman. Others are judgemental particularly when they do not approve of the victim's behaviour, and the rape may exacerbate existing conflicts over this. Some families respond with anger.

Other members can over-identify with the victim particularly when they have experienced a similar situation, and are unable to recognise the victim's needs.

3. Life cycle stage may also affect the victim's coping capacity. The rape means different things to women at different stages of their life. The younger adolescent for whom the rape is her first sexual experience may become concerned about her sexual behaviour in the future. She may become afraid of entering into relationship with her adolescent peers.

The middle adolescent who is beginning to develop relationships with males may find that the rape may compound her existing confusion about what is appropriate, affectionate and sexual behaviours.

Middle aged women who may be reassessing their lives and roles, and concerned with independence and autonomy may find the rape reinforcing feelings of inadequacy.

4. The way the woman is treated as a victim may also influence her ability to cope.

This includes treatment by:

1) The police. Of necessity the police are required to question the victim thoroughly. If this is not explained to her she may perceive that she is not believed and this can reinforce feelings of guilt and self blame.

If she is unable to accurately describe her assailant or recall details of the attack, this may reinforce feelings of low self worth and inadequacy.

2) Hospital service. If the victim is treated in an impersonal manner then the feelings of depersonalization are reinforced. If hospital staff offer judgement comments on her behaviour then feelings of guilt can be produced.

3) The courts. The above comments apply here as well. The cross examination can seem like a repeat of the rape experience.

4) The circumstances of the assault can affect the victim's coping capacity.

If the victim is acquainted with her assailant then she is less likely to report the rape to the police.

If she knows the rapist then she may feel more guilt wondering what she has done to provoke the attack. She may question her ability to judge other people. She is unable to use rationalization as a defence to cope with the attack. She seems to feel a greater sense of betrayal and is more confused about the meaning of the act.

If the attack occurs in the victim's home, she may be more fearful. She, as an individual has been invaded as well as her own environmental space.

Whilst women's response to rape may follow a predictable pattern, each individual's circumstances provide differences that will affect her coping capacity and reaction.

The fact that a woman's psychological adjustment to rape, is in part determined by the social systems that impinge upon her, indicates a need for a widespread community response to ensure that those systems are both responsive to her needs, and used to their maximum therapeutic capacity

A victim of rape will have one constant thought...others may go through what they did if they do not report it.

Some are not strong enough to report it but they feel great guilt from not reporting it.

the worst thing a person that has been raped can do is to keep it bottled up inside.

Maybe if you would actually listen to what some of us are telling you about how we feel and what we need and want you might stop being so robotically selfish and think you can decide for us

Following a rape or attempted sexual assault, the survivor is left in a state of crisis. Decisions are hard to make during this time, but the survivor needs to make some decisions which will affect possible prosecution. Survivors have the right to decide whether or not to report the assault to the police. However, if a survivor goes to the hospital, the medical staff are required to report the assault. Survivors need to understand that REPORTING IS DIFFERENT THAN PROSECUTING. However, once a rape is reported, it becomes a crime against the state, and the survivor becomes a witness for the prosecution who may be subpoenaed at anytime. In most cases the prosecutor will not pursue a case against the wishes of the survivor. There is no right or wrong answer to the question of reporting. It is a difficult decision to make, and NO survivor should be forced to report or made to feel guilty or responsible for not reporting. Looking at the pros and cons of reporting may help survivors reach a decision.

Why some survivors have stated that they report:

•to hold the perpetrator accountable for the assault
•to help keep others safe by possibly prosecuting an offender
•to get revenge or to see that justice is served
•so that other survivors might gain support and report their own victimizations
•to prove to "doubters" that there really was an assault
•so that they would be eligible for state monies (see "Compensation for Victims of Crime)

Why some survivors have chosen NOT to report:

•fear of the assailant
•fear of retaliation by the assailant's family
•lack of confidence in the criminal justice system
•fear of being blamed by others
•wanting to forget the incident
•fear of family, friends', co-workers' reactions
•fear of loss of privacy

Arella Mae, are you still trying to have a rational conversation with someone who refers to the "rape industry" and the "rape industry store"?

Man, 81, jailed for attempted rape of OAP
Wednesday 15th December 2010

An elderly man has been today jailed for five-and-a-half years for the attempted rape of a 92-year-old friend of his estranged wife in Bedfordshire.

Cyril Hewitt, 81, had done odd jobs at the home of partially-sighted Gertrude Lang.

But one night almost 11 years ago he disguised his identity and attacked the pensioner in her home, then played the part of a concerned friend when contacted by her family afterwards, even returning to the house, apparently to help her, police said. He was charged last December, nearly a decade after the assault in Ampthill on January 7, 2000.

Mrs Lang died nearly six years later in November 2005 without seeing her attacker brought to justice.

Hewitt, of Silsoe, Beds, pleaded guilty to attempted rape in November and was jailed on Tuesday for five-and-a-half years, a Luton Crown Court official confirmed. He was also put on the Sex Offenders Register indefinitely, she said.

Mick Flavin, of the Bedfordshire and Hertfordshire Major Crime Unit's cold case review team, previously described the case as "absolutely abhorrent".

Speaking after the last hearing, he said: "Though an active and intelligent lady, Mrs Lang was 92 years old, only 4ft 7ins tall at the time of the offence, partially-sighted and frail. She stood no chance of defending herself against Hewitt when he came knocking on her door that night. Hewitt's estranged wife had been a good friend and loyal carer to Mrs Lang over the years and Hewitt had done odd jobs at her house.

"Why he suddenly decided to disguise his identity and assault her in such an appalling way is still a mystery. Even more chilling is the way that he then posed as a concerned friend."

He said Hewitt emerged as a suspect after detectives spent more than a year reviewing evidence files from 2000, and linked him to the attack using DNA evidence.

But he said it was a shame Mrs Lang had not lived to see justice done. "Her clear thinking and bravery in giving police detailed statements and samples at the time has been much of the reason why we have been able to reinvestigate this case," he said. "I hope now Hewitt has admitted his guilt that Mrs Lang's family can draw some comfort from the fact that justice has been done."
http://www.lynnnews.co.uk/news/regional/man_81_jailed_for_attempted_rape_of_oap_1_1982349

Just because he's elderly, doesn't mean he can't be a rapist--or shouldn't be held responsible for his crime.