Hey, Can A Woman "Ask To Get Raped"?

Saying she was raped, state Senate candidate Benacquisto says rival Rader's attacks 'crossed the line
'By Jason Schultz
Palm Beach Post Staff Writer
Thursday, Oct. 28, 2010

Republican state Senate candidate Lizbeth Benacquisto said in a campaign ad today that she was raped at age 19 - a revelation she said she is making in response to an ad by Democratic opponent Kevin Rader implying she would make criminals out of rape victims who seek abortions.

"He really crossed the line for me with that statement," Benacquisto said, shortly after the ads disclosing her rape started airing on television.

Benacquisto said the attack occurred 23 years ago when she was a freshman at the University of Florida and caused her to quit school. She recently went back to school and graduated last year from Palm Beach Atlantic University.

"It changed the trajectory of my life a lot," said Benacquisto, 42, a former Wellington councilwoman running in Senate District 27 against Rader, a 42-year-old state House member from Delray Beach.

Benacquisto did not provide a police report of the attack. She said she reported the rape but that nobody was ever arrested, and that she has undergone therapy since then.

"It is a very difficult thing for anybody to reconcile," she said.

In response to Benacquisto's ad, Rader issued a statement saying: "My heart breaks for anyone who has been the victim of rape. It's stories like Ms. Benacquisto's that have led me to be so passionate about defending victim's rights and a woman's right to choose. It's why I believe victims need to have access to emergency contraception and have the legal right to choose an abortion."

Rader also says in his statement: "It is important that people know that my opponent and I do not agree on these issues and it is why I am being supported by organizations like Planned Parenthood and the National Organization (for) Women."

Benacquisto said she had told only her family and a few friends over the years about the rape, and never planned to reveal it during her campaign. But she said she was upset when Rader started airing an ad about abortion this week.

The Rader ad says Benacquisto's "allies would make choice illegal in all cases including rape, incest, even to save a woman's life."

"The extremist groups who support her would make these women into criminals," says the ad, which also features piano music and black-and-white images of somber or teary-eyed women.

Benacquisto said she does not believe in abortion but supports allowing exceptions for victims of rape, incest or cases where the woman's life is in danger.

She called on Rader to remove the ad and said she was so offended by the misrepresentation of her position she decided to reveal her rape.

"The minute he spoke those words with pictures of crying women, he was reaching into the living rooms of women who had been through this and manipulating their emotions," Benacquisto said. "He was speaking to me at the same time. He just didn't realize it."

Rader's campaign manager, Eric Johnson, said Rader's abortion ad is accurate because it says the no-exceptions position is held by Benacquisto's allies, including the Florida Right to Life Political Action Committee and the Christian Coalition of Florida. He said the Rader campaign would consider taking down the ad if Benacquisto repudiates any support or endorsement from those groups.

The Republican Party of Florida paid for Benacquisto's ad in which she reveals the rape. Party spokesman Dan Conston refused to provide a copy of the ad, saying in an e-mail statement that "it is currently in rotation and can be seen there."

Benacquisto said she now hopes to speak to women's groups after the campaign is over and tell more of her story.

Mona Reis, founder of the Presidential Women's Center in West Palm Beach, which provides abortions, said she still supports Rader.

She said rape is a "travesty beyond travesty for any woman." But she said she has been involved in women's rights issues in the county since 1974 and cannot remember working with Benacquisto on any effort to help victims of domestic violence or sexual assault.

"I would have welcomed her help," Reis said. "For her to accuse Kevin who has been a defender of women for years when he was in office and before he was in office is such an outrage to me that I find it insulting."

Revelations such as Benacquisto's in the course of a campaign are extremely rare, said Susan MacManus, a nationally known expert on politics who is a professor at the University of South Florida. She said she had never heard of a woman revealing in a campaign ad that she had been raped.

MacManus said she recently asked the young women in her political science classes if candidates' positions on abortions affected their votes, and only about half said yes. But she said a revelation such as Benacquisto's will likely have a much bigger impact on Election Day.

"I think it would grab every single woman's attention," said MacManus.

Benacquisto said she decided late Tuesday to reveal her status as a rape victim after talking to her father.

"In the end it was my father who said, 'Stand up for yourself,'" Benacquisto said. "The blessing will be if one woman can say, 'I can stand up now, too.'"

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/state/saying-she-was-raped-state-senate-candidate-benacquisto-1000726.html

Benacquisto said she does not believe in abortion but supports allowing exceptions for victims of rape, incest or cases where the woman's life is in danger.

Your post is correct except for the part about Firefly making her into a rape spokesperson.

Benacquisto said she now hopes to speak to women's groups after the campaign is over and tell more of her story.

Yes, I guess so.

I tend to think that Firefly is encouraging women to stop living with the secret shame of rape and start being counted as victims of a brutal secret. Start coming out of the shadows so our society can start dealing with rape as a misogynistic ailment that afflicts our country.

I'm sure you can get behind that idea.

I tend to think that Firefly is encouraging women to stop living with the secret shame of rape and start being counted as victims of a brutal secret.

Oct 27, 2010
Columbia's "rape me" controversy

Kingsmen, an all-male a cappella group, posts fliers reminiscent of Yale's recent hazing scandal
By Tracy Clark-Flory

A rendering of the original posterIt's almost like there's an Ivy League conspiracy to get us talking about rape. On the heels of Yale's "rape chant" ordeal, there comes word that Columbia University's all-male a cappella group posted fliers around campus earlier this month that featured a shot of one of its members wearing a jaunty scarf and pursing his lips. Underneath the photo, it read, "Rape me."

Student group LUCHA released a statement calmly explaining the issues with the poster: It creates "a caricature out of gay men" and "the subject's 'desire' to be raped trivializes the link between sexuality and homophobic hate crimes." Also, the group's makeup "emphasizes the inconsideration of the message given the reality of the disproportionate amount of women to men who are affected by sexual violence." Kingsmen has already issued an apology to the community, acknowledging that "the flyer is unduly offensive and inappropriate." The statement continued, "Kingsmen may often use off-color statements in an attempt to lampoon social norms or comment on current events, both on campus and in the media -- the flyer in question does neither." As for how the poster came to be, they write:


"An utter lack of judgment and an embarrassingly complete sense of tunnel vision. To clarify, the young man pictured on the flyer is one of our own members. Many minutes were spent on Facebook in search of the goofiest picture we could find of one of our members; this was it. The combination of the image with the statement were never intended as anything more than a laugh at the expense of that Kingsman. Unfortunately for all, we did not put any more thought into it than that."


Their explanation is awfully reminiscent of the one given to me by the anonymous Delta Kappa Epsilon member that I interviewed last week about the Yale upset. He said, "The reality is that there wasn't much intent. Part of the problem was that the chant was carried out without thought to the larger consequences of our actions. Whatever its purpose, it doesn't excuse the inappropriate content of the chant." He also argued, as the Kingsmen have, that this "rape" situation was an anomaly and was not part of group tradition or culture. In the case of DKE, it was by definition a part of tradition, as it was a ritual passed down for years. In this case, it seems the nadir of edgy and politically incorrect statements, many of which have hinted -- humorously! -- at violence against women. That includes a flier featuring Rihanna -- the famous face of domestic violence -- and the phrase "I'd Hit That." Also, one reading: "Take back the night back." (Take Back the Night happens to be the name of a march against rape.)

I e-mailed the Kingsmen requesting an interview, explaining that I had done a Q&A with a member of Yale's beleaguered DKE. "My hope in that case was to spark a respectful discussion and to hear the fraternity members' side of the story instead of just piling on," I wrote. "I'd love to do the same thing in this case." Ash Swamy, the group's business manager, responded in part:


"I have a couple of concerns regarding the language of your message, first of foremost being that you've coupled our incident with Yale's DKE. We are well aware of what happened at Yale, and do not condone that sort of behavior. Secondly, we are not a fraternity, we're an a cappella group that has performed at numerous service and community events throughout the New York area.

Our incident was an unfortunate one, and we greatly regret the inappropriateness of our actions. That being said, we do not haze, nor do we encourage in [sic] bigoted behavior. Our poster, taken from Nirvana's lyrics [see here], was in poor taste. We have no interest in engaging in further interviews on the subject. Increasing publicity on this incident only perpetuates the same debates."


It perpetuates a debate that needs to be had, though. Fraternities might have a douchier reputation than all-male a cappella groups, but the fact of the matter is that there isn't any meaningful difference between the two when it comes to this sort of stunt. Both used rape as a joke, admittedly without much thought, and with some history of similar behavior. Talking gets people thinking critically, and that is something apparently lacking in certain corners of America's finest universities.

Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon.
http://www.salon.com/life/broadsheet/2010/10/27/kingsmen_rape_me/index.html

Shame is one of many reasons, in fact as I recall it is a very minor reason.

Why would anyone with a brain think saying "rape me" in any shape, manner, or form would be humorous? I don't understand that.

I disagree. Where do you get that idea?

The reasons for not reporting were primarily environmental factors (prior relationship with assailant) rather than internal psychological barriers (shame, anxiety, fear).

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