Hey, Can A Woman "Ask To Get Raped"?

At least I acknowledge it is a problem in this word whereas you don't see it as a problem. I told you before I wouldn't wish rape on anyone, NOT EVEN A RAPIST. I think it is deplorable that rapes happen in prison. It's a problem and it needs to be dealt with JUST LIKE ALL RAPES!

I agree with you, but I also think that you are taking up a lost cause.

Thank you--I will look at chapter 12 first. I am going to try to read the entire book.

You said you began experiencing flashbacks and memories when you were 13. I am just curious, did this occur at about the same time you began menstruating?

Ah well, if you started a thread like that, Bill and Coo would be all over it.

I agree, rape in prison, rape anywhere, is a serious problem. And men are raped outside of prison.

I had said earlier that there is also a lot of consensual sex in prisons and jails. This tends to be largely ignored because it does not involve violence, and generally does not disturb the overall functioning of the institution. It occurs not just between homosexual men, but also between bi-sexual and heterosexual men who would function as heterosexuals on the outside. The issue of prison rape has been somewhat over-sensationalized in movies, books, popular culture etc., and it tends to be more represented in the research literature because it is a violent act, and more of a problem for the facility, and can contribute to the spread of STDs
. The whole issue of accurate reporting of sexual behaviors and sexual assaults in correctional facilities is very difficult--a lot of it relies on self reports and there can be wide differences on what is reported from one institution to another.For instance, reports of consenting sexual activity can range from 30-70%. So, not much can really be inferred from these figures except that rapes can occur, but so does consensual sex, and the incidence of consensual sex is greater than the incidence of rape.

The above study is fairly consistent with other studies. It also is consistent with my own personal experience in a correctional facility, a jail, where sexual activity of any kind (other than masturbation) was not widespread, and rapes were rare, but consensual sex did occur. It does depend somewhat on how good the security is in the facility--some jails and prisons are better run than others. It also can depend on how inmates are housed--dorms vs cells--and the ratio of correction officers to inmates. There really isn't very much privacy in a jail or prison, so there aren't a lot of places for rapes, or consensual sex, to take place.

In the institution I was familiar with (as a civilian, not an inmate ), arrests were made if a rape occurred and was reported. I remember a particularly heartbreaking case of a young man who was raped the day before his sentence was completed. This was quite some time ago, and I have forgotten why he was raped, but I think it may have been as a punishment for something, and that is why it was done the day before he was to be discharged. The poor young man was devastated, absolutely devastated. He was crying hysterically, saying he would now be shunned by his family and girlfriend because they would consider him homosexual, and the rapist assured him that his entire neighborhood would know about the incident. He said he would kill himself because he could not live with the shame of what had happened to him, he no longer considered himself a man, and he would die before he went back home.

The Warden was willing to discharge him a day early, to let his family arrange care for him, but the young man was too emotionally overwhelmed and too suicidal to be allowed to leave the jail, and he wouldn't let anyone call his family. Because the inmate's sentence was almost up, the Warden had him transferred out of the facility to a civilian psychiatric hospital for evaluation and treatment. The impact of this rape was every bit as horrendous as it is for a female victim. The rapist was arrested and charged, but the damage was done to his victim.

Rape is rape, and rape is horrible. And inmates are particularly vulnerable to rapes, and other problems, immediately before they are discharged because they don't want to lose their "good time" and have to remain in the facility longer, so they are easily threatened and coerced just before they are getting out.
Rapes always target the vulnerable, inside and outside of correctional facilities.

Oh my. I am at a loss for words. So much of what you said I have felt and yet you went through so much more than I did that I almost feel blessed. How horrible it must have been for you but how courageous of you to tell your story so that others can learn and understand. I am so happy that you made it through all of that and have children that you love. Do you want to remember all the things that you can't? There is so much of my childhood that I do not remember but I don't know if I want to remember it or not.

Lord he was this emotionally fragile and yet he survive in prison up to this rape?

At the risk of sounding sexist, I would almost think the emotional effect of rape on a man could be even more devastating than it can be for a woman. Men are supposed to be these macho creatures and can take care of themselves. It is such a devastating crime to so many. The effects it has on the victim and their families and loved ones...............but I doubt that would matter to any rapist.

Let me tell you something. I have never in my life one time wished for even one second that I wasn't a Christian. But I have come so close to that with you. Because I want to tell you just how horrible I think you are but you know what? I can't do it. Because I would be just like you if I did not keep in mind that you are like the rest of us, merely an imperfect human being. You are just a sick man that has no clue as to what it means to understand the suffering of others and for that, I have to cry for you. I have to cry for you because you seem incapable of understanding the pain others suffer. How can one be truly happy unless they also understand the other side of the spectrum.

That was a truly beautiful post, Arella. You are very kind and generous.

I, on the other hand, wouldn't throw either of these demented cowards a rope if they were drowning.

AA and firefly, I think the stories you read in The Politics of Rape are not about my story chapter. Mine starts on page 117, which is not included in the public provided site chapters. I guess you would have to buy the book to read mine.

BBB

That section of the book, Chapter 12, starting on pg 117, is online, BBB. I am in the middle of reading it. I think it is your story, the facts about the rape coincide with the information you gave us.

Is the information about your adoption and the sexual advances made by your adoptive father (called the "step father" in the chapter) true?

Yes, it's true. When I asked him why it was OK to try to seduce me, he replied that I'd already lost my virginity when I was raped at age four, so it didn't make any difference. When I told my mother, she didn't believe me. When my father admitted what he had done, my mother asked me to forgive him so she could save her marriage. Lovely family, I had. I wish someone else had adopted me when my parents died when I was a baby.

How did you find my chapter. I tried to find it and couldn't.

BBB

I just went through the Chapter listings and clicked on Chapter 12--that takes you to page 117.

BBB, I cannot believe you have survived a background like that and still retained your ability to trust and love. The rape alone was horrible, but everything else that went on was almost equally bad, in some ways worse. I wish you had had a different adoptive family too. Those people should never have been allowed to adopt a child, they were unfit parents.

I still have to finish the chapter. I am just in awe of your strength, but reeling from the horrors of what you went through.

anyone that adds/post to this thread (including myself) only perpetuate those specific wackos that should never be responded are equally guilty.

taking posts at face value is often an error.

I am not sure what you are talking about, or why you also say that posts should not be taken at face value.

What are you referring to?

I finally found my book among the hundreds in my library.

While searching for my book, I found Diana Russell's second book, Rape in Marriage. After she talked to me for hours during writing her first book, she became interested about learning more about rape in marriage.

In her new book, she started her Chapter 13, The Victims of Wife Rape on page 169 with a paragraph of my story from her previous book.