Wife's intimacy with lesbian friend

@dlowan,

Quote:

Tragic really.

What is tragic? WHo says we have to all like the same things? I dont mind if you pursue what you like in your life why do you mind if I pursue what I like? This gets back to this notion that do-gooders seem to have that all is not right with the world until we all agree that what you want is what we all want, you seem to be seeking some kind of validation that you have made the right choices for yourself. In the process you are dismissive of other people's choices, and you hold yourself out as a cut above, as better person. I find THAT tragic.

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@MontStMichel,

MontStMichel wrote:

I am very concerned that my wife doesn't see that she loves this woman and wants to be with her. Should I be concerned?

I've read your opening post numerous times and I keep getting stuck on this last bit... you're concerned that your wife doesn't see that she loves this woman? Holy jump to conclusions batman...

You've already concluded that based on her history and her family background that your wife is in love with another woman but she just doesn't know it. Sorry, dude. I get the whole concept of not wanting to open a can of worms (or "put ideas in her head that aren't already there") by bringing this up, but I think you've added 2 plus 2 and come up with 7.

1 Reply

Mont -
It is obvious that your wife is getting some kind of need(s) fulfilled with this woman - who may or may not be trying to set up a lesbian relationship with her. If she were a man, the same thing would be suspected. She is starting out as friends and it is moving into another stage - at least that's how you describe it.

You need to ask your wife what she wants at this time of her life (someone to take her to concerts? pay attention to her?) and how you can get back into her life, if you really want that.

You don't say how old she is, but I see some women just plain tired of the caretaking, cleaning up, and mothering of men and turn to the nurturing support of another woman. The sex is NOT the first attraction or need to be met in these relationships. Sometimes it's as simple as being listened to or valued.

Look at the marriange with clear eyes to get your answer.

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@JPB,

Nice point - I'm projecting out my own fear into the situation.

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Mont....
Been there, done that,,, in several relationships over the years. There is one very basic solution: Start courting your wife. Find ways and times to create intimacy, take her out for weekend lunches, laugh at her jokes, take interest in what she says
(l i s t e n m a n),
remember,,,,,
she loves you.

Joe(I wish you the very best)Nation

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In a much earlier post . . . . .

Hewkeye10 said . . . . .

"I catch hell for saying this in the childhood sexual abuse survivor community, but I have come to the conclusion that often abuse is nearly a blessing."

"I catch hell for saying this in the childhood sexual abuse survivor community, but I have come to the conclusion that often abuse is nearly a blessing."

"I catch hell for saying this in the childhood sexual abuse survivor community, but I have come to the conclusion that often abuse is nearly a blessing."

"I catch hell for saying this in the childhood sexual abuse survivor community, but I have come to the conclusion that often abuse is nearly a blessing."

"I catch hell for saying this in the childhood sexual abuse survivor community, but I have come to the conclusion that often abuse is nearly a blessing."

"I catch hell for saying this in the childhood sexual abuse survivor community, but I have come to the conclusion that often abuse is nearly a blessing."

"I catch hell for saying this in the childhood sexual abuse survivor community, but I have come to the conclusion that often abuse is nearly a blessing."

"I catch hell for saying this in the childhood sexual abuse survivor community, but I have come to the conclusion that often abuse is nearly a blessing."

"I catch hell for saying this in the childhood sexual abuse survivor community, but I have come to the conclusion that often abuse is nearly a blessing."

"I catch hell for saying this in the childhood sexual abuse survivor community, but I have come to the conclusion that often abuse is nearly a blessing."

Hey Hawkeye10 - AKA - Myopic Dodo Bird!

I'm going to keep haunting you with this on every forum topic until you respond!

RAPE IS NOT A BLESSING!

RAPE IS NOT A BLESSING!

RAPE IS NOT A BLESSING!

RAPE IS NOT A BLESSING!

RAPE IS NOT A BLESSING!

RAPE IS NOT A BLESSING!

RAPE IS NOT A BLESSING!

RAPE IS NOT A BLESSING!

RAPE IS NOT A BLESSING!

RAPE IS NOT A BLESSING!

You got that?

you sanctimonious scum-bag piece of dog ****!

I'm going to keep haunting you on every forum topic where I see you posting.

EAT **** AND DIE!

1 Reply

@Fat Man 1951,

Before you can heal the sick you must first forgive them..

1 Reply

@Fido,

@Fat Man 1951,
Before you can heal the sick you must first forgive them..

Are you referring to me or are you referring to Hawkeye10 - AKA - Myopic Dodo Bird?

I'm not the one who's sick. I'm just righteously pissed off!

The only cure for rapists, or pedophiles, or pedo-symps, those who sympathize with pedophiles or rapists, the only cure for sick bastards like Hawkeye10 is bullet through the head!

1 Reply

@Fat Man 1951,

Fat Man 1951 wrote:

@Fat Man 1951,
Before you can heal the sick you must first forgive them..

Are you referring to me or are you referring to Hawkeye10 - AKA - Myopic Dodo Bird?

I'm not the one who's sick. I'm just righteously pissed off!

The only cure for rapists, or pedophiles, or pedo-symps, those who sympathize with pedophiles or rapists, the only cure for sick bastards like Hawkeye10 is bullet through the head!

I sympathize with all of humanity... No person has it better for taking it out on the weak, or knows less pain for spreading pain far and wide... The rich do not own more joy by giving wants and worries to the poor... We cannot take happiness out of another's security; but only make everyone, ourselves included less secure...That is why we think, is it not; so that we will learn to think before we do, and after doing, think about what we have done??? I agree that people who justify injustice need to be advised that the injustice they justify for others is justified for them as well; but is there not too much of such justification already??? What is just justifies itself, and we should look at all those justifying behavior that has always been forbidden as an injury to society, as every bit as wrong as the acts they justify...The emotional response to horror is the worst response possible... What makes you feel should make you think, because when others can offend us with our own revulsion they have only made another victim... That is why so many who rape, torture and mutilate make a display of their handiwork... They hate the world and all the people in it, and life and happiness and hope mean nothing to them...In short, such people want to get to you, and think that your anger will injure more innocents than they could touch on their own, and they are correct... Punish the guilty, and not the innocent...Do not punish those you can catch for the crimes of those you cannot catch... Measure for measure; and most of all, do not let the trolls hook you...

1 Reply

@Fido,

Quote:

do not let the trolls hook you...

If Fat's had a satisfying counter argument to mine we would have heard it by now. I am saddened by what ever when wrong with his childhood and that he never never fixed it, but all of this is his problem not mine. When and if he ever takes responsibility for his life he might make some progress, but till then dont bother giving me the stink eye, it just proves that you dont know enough to know who the problem is.

1 Reply

@hawkeye10,

hawkeye10 wrote:

Quote:
do not let the trolls hook you...
If Fat's had a satisfying counter argument to mine we would have heard it by now. I am saddened by what ever when wrong with his childhood and that he never never fixed it, but all of this is his problem not mine. When and if he ever takes responsibility for his life he might make some progress, but till then dont bother giving me the stink eye, it just proves that you dont know enough to know who the problem is.

What makes you think it is even possible to fix what went wrong with our childhoods... We are all the children we once were inside, with better reason, more knowledge, or more sophisticated defenses... But what ever has been done to us we grow through, and yet often, we suffer it forever...Crimes against children are all the more unforgivable because they children injured in growth are often injured for life, and some times their lives are stopped for all practical purposes, and if they do not become the people who hurt them and go on hurting others then all their energy goes to keep from bleeding right out, emotionally, so they have nothing to give, cannot bear children, and if they do, cannot love them as they should... You can only seldom turn a human being into a brute by brutalizing them, but children are not fully developed functioning human beings, and it is very easy to reduce them in their lives to mere shells... It is enough to make one wish for God so God might damn the one who would hurt a child...

1 Reply

@Fido,

Quote:

What makes you think it is even possible to fix what went wrong with our childhoods

Because people in general and children in particular tend to be extremely resilient, able to adapt to change and thrive in new situations. Our continued survival depends upon this skill. Too cushy a life without any obstacles is as bad for humans as is too much...meaning abuse, because it causes our adaptation skills to atrophy. I assume that you are a kid, because very few people get far into life still spewing that line of crap about kids being so fragile that getting roughed up a little with break them. Most of us face adversity sooner or later, and thus come to see that we are much stronger than we gave ourselves credit for.

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In response to Hawkeye10 - AKA - Myopic Dodo Bird

If I were the parent of a child who had been sexually molested, and if you were to say the following to me . . . . .

Quote:
"I catch hell for saying this in the childhood sexual abuse survivor community, but I have come to the conclusion that often abuse is nearly a blessing."
End Quote:

Well . . . . . lets just say that here in Texas, I would probably be on death row after I had bashed your ******* head in with a lead pipe!

You are truly, a sanctimonious scum-bag piece of dog ****!

RAPE IS NOT A BLESSING!

When is that finally going to sink into that **** you have for brains?

Go crawl into a sewer and DIE!!!

1 Reply

@Fat Man 1951,

Fat Man 1951 wrote:

In response to Hawkeye10 - AKA - Myopic Dodo Bird

If I were the parent of a child who had been sexually molested, and if you were to say the following to me . . . . .

Quote:
"I catch hell for saying this in the childhood sexual abuse survivor community, but I have come to the conclusion that often abuse is nearly a blessing."
End Quote:

Well . . . . . lets just say that here in Texas, I would probably be on death row after I had bashed your ******* head in with a lead pipe!

You are truly, a sanctimonious scum-bag piece of dog ****!

RAPE IS NOT A BLESSING!

When is that finally going to sink into that **** you have for brains?

Go crawl into a sewer and DIE!!!

You can cure a person of life with a lead pipe, but no one has ever been cured of stupidity with one..

1 Reply

@Fido,

Quote:
"You can cure a person of life with a lead pipe, but no one has ever been cured of stupidity with one.."
End Quote:

There is no cure for stupidity! It's a terminal disease!

So, I'm only interested in curing stupid morons of being alive so that they can no longer go around saying that rape is a blessing.

That's the cure!

1 Reply

@Fat Man 1951,

Fat Man 1951 wrote:

Quote:
"You can cure a person of life with a lead pipe, but no one has ever been cured of stupidity with one.."
End Quote:

There is no cure for stupidity! It's a terminal disease!

So, I'm only interested in curing stupid morons of being alive so that they can no longer go around saying that rape is a blessing.

That's the cure!

No doubt, killing people has often much to recommend it; but isn't it illegal???

1 Reply

@Fido,

Quote:
"No doubt, killing people has often much to recommend it; but isn't it illegal???"
End Quote:

Then, I believe the law should impose the death penalty for pedophiles and rapists, and for anybody who sympathizes with pedophiles and rapists.

So, Hawkeye10 - AKA - Myopic Dodo Bird, should be hanged from the gallows or get the electric chair or be put to death by lethal injection, depending on which state he resides, but he should be put to death just for saying that "rape is a blessing".

For all I know, he may have already butt-banged some little boys!

1 Reply

@Fat Man 1951,

Fat Man 1951 wrote:

Quote:
"No doubt, killing people has often much to recommend it; but isn't it illegal???"
End Quote:

Then, I believe the law should impose the death penalty for pedophiles and rapists, and for anybody who sympathizes with pedophiles and rapists.

So, Hawkeye10 - AKA - Myopic Dodo Bird, should be hanged from the gallows or get the electric chair or be put to death by lethal injection, depending on which state he resides, but he should be put to death just for saying that "rape is a blessing".

For all I know, he may have already butt-banged some little boys!

It is just a possibility, but the law may be sending the message to offenders, that if death does not wait for capture and conviction, that there is no reason to kill the victim... Most parents are certain to wish their children home, alive, and will deal with the consequences of criminal behavior on their children in good time... I did not lose my child to violence, but I did lose my child...Nothing can bring back a dead child, and rapists need every good reason to give up their victims to live the balance of their lives... It is painful to know that one who may well deserve the ultimate in punishment may be getting out of prison today, and every day... It is also painful to realize that a guy caught peeing in the woods may be charged with a sex crime... Our stupidity does not help..It never helps...

1 Reply

@Fido,

Quote:
"It is also painful to realize that a guy caught peeing in the woods may be charged with a sex crime... Our stupidity does not help..It never helps... "
Quote:

SAY WHAT???

Are you kidding me or what?

Now, that is really stupid!

Urinating out in the middle of the woods in NOT sex, not by any stretch of the imagination.

Now, exposing your penis in front of a child, yeah, I would call that indecent exposure and indecency with a minor, or pedophilia.

But some guy on a camping trip hunting or fishing what is he suppose to do? Hold it in until his blader bursts or perhaps piss in his pants instead?

Well everybody, if you plan to go on any hunting trips to a forest, be sure to wear your adult diapers.

If passing human waste is sex, then eating must also be sex, and next we will be charged with a sex crime just for eating or drinking.

Yeah! I know! Good way to fight the so-called obesity epidemic!

YEAH, RIGHT!!!

If we have become that stupid, then we all deserve to die.

Time for the human race to become extinct and give this planet back to the dinosaurs, or something.

I'm outta here!

1 Reply

@Fat Man 1951,

Fat Man 1951 wrote:

Quote:
"It is also painful to realize that a guy caught peeing in the woods may be charged with a sex crime... Our stupidity does not help..It never helps... "
Quote:

SAY WHAT???

Are you kidding me or what?

Now, that is really stupid!

Urinating out in the middle of the woods in NOT sex, not by any stretch of the imagination.

Now, exposing your penis in front of a child, yeah, I would call that indecent exposure and indecency with a minor, or pedophilia.

But some guy on a camping trip hunting or fishing what is he suppose to do? Hold it in until his blader bursts or perhaps piss in his pants instead?

Well everybody, if you plan to go on any hunting trips to a forest, be sure to wear your adult diapers.

If passing human waste is sex, then eating must also be sex, and next we will be charged with a sex crime just for eating or drinking.

Yeah! I know! Good way to fight the so-called obesity epidemic!

YEAH, RIGHT!!!

If we have become that stupid, then we all deserve to die.

Time for the human race to become extinct and give this planet back to the dinosaurs, or something.

I'm outta here!

I was in court once and a guy was in there for peeing in the woods... Seems he was having a few at a public parking area after work with some co workers, and after a few walked out into the brush for a pee... Under cover cops were parked right there witnessing the whole thing... The judge asked: Did anyone see you??? The guy said: maybe some trees... And the judge said: Well, the police saw you... They did not really see anything but his back side, but they figured out what he was up too with no trouble... The charge was indecent exposure...

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Wife's intimacy with lesbian friend

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