Wife's intimacy with lesbian friend

@hawkeye10,

Are you capable of reading? Your own quote gives the figure for the percentage of women who identify as bi-sexual, and yet you "are confident" that the number is actually 7 times greater.

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I'll bet you all big money that if this poster's wife had a man friend that she met in school this poster would be asking "Is she having an affair?"

I really don't think it matters that the "other" person is a lesbian.

Two of my best gal pals are a lesbian couple. Trust me, they would never sign up for a three way with a man (they don't like sex with men, remember) and the idea of "preforming" together for some man's pleasure would appal them.

Heck, they wouldn't sign up for a three way with another woman or preform for another woman's pleasure either.

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@DrewDad,

Quote:

Are you capable of reading? Your own quote gives the figure for the percentage of women who identify as bi-sexual, and yet you "are confident" that the number is actually 7 times greater

. the number who identify as bisexual and the number who are at some point bi-curious and who seriously consider bi-sexuality are not the same number. Lots of women have tried out sex with another woman but decided that they are straight. The 20% number is of those who have tried sex with a woman, not my claim for the number who identify as bi. This is obvious, but obviously you can't read.

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@boomerang,

Quote:

I really don't think it matters that the "other" person is a lesbian.

Boomer? You don't think his fear of her with a woman is stronger than if it was a man?

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@boomerang,

Quote:

I really don't think it matters that the "other" person is a lesbian

the other woman being lesbian increases the chance that his wife is going to have sex with her, which this guys cares about, so her sexuality does matter.

Quote:

Two of my best gal pals are a lesbian couple. Trust me, they would never sign up for a three way with a man (they don't like sex with men, remember) and the idea of "preforming" together for some man's pleasure would appal them

. the other woman is not here, we dont know for a fact that she is not bi, or that she is not an exhibitionist, or that the does not want to play with this wife bad enough to be willing to do something that she would not normally do (have a man around during the act). Even if the other woman is not playing in front of the husband the husband might still be ahead if the wife plays with her, bringing the action home is simply a attempt to add value for the husband.

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@panzade,

Nope.

The woman has been in a heterosexual relationship with this guy for who knows how long.

I'm willing to bet most of her relationships have been with men.

I think if her friend was a man she'd be more apt to have sex with him.

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@hawkeye10,

Nor do we know for a fact that she is bi, or an exhibitionist, or even "wanting to play" with the wife at all.

Lesbians aren't sexually attracted to every woman they meet, just as heterosexuals are not attracted to every member of the opposite sex.

Sometimes friends are simply friends.

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@boomerang,

Quote:

Lesbians aren't sexually attracted to every woman they meet, just as heterosexuals are not attracted to every member of the opposite sex.

Sometimes friends are simply friends.

there are quite a few lesbians who take an interest in expanding the pool, who will take the time to help other women experiment to see if they like women, but we are pretty much in the dark because all we have is third person hearsay to go on.

We have had this discussion on a2k a few times about whether a straight man and woman can ever be "just friends" in the sense that same sex friends are, my position has been that the answer is no. The erotic always comes in, even if only subconsciously.

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@hawkeye10,

So you've never had an opposite sex friend you weren't sexually attracted to?

That's sad.

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@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

So you've never had an opposite sex friend you weren't sexually attracted to?

That's sad.

Why is that sad? I've never had an opposite-sex friend who I wasn't sexually attracted to either - not necessarily based on physical attributes. But that's because a lot of the things I find interesting in people, are sexually attractive to me. It isn't a bad thing!

Plenty of acquaintances maybe who would fit that description... people who I'm friendly with. But not what I would call friends.

Cycloptichorn

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@boomerang,

Quote:

So you've never had an opposite sex friend you weren't sexually attracted to?

I tend to have no interest in hanging out with women who are not erotically interesting. A lot of the erotic is below the surface, so that does not mean that they are all physically sexually appealing, nor does it mean that I want to have sex with all of them.

With guys I have no erotic interest, so them simply being unusual is enough to get me interested in finding out more about them. Or being a lot like me.

What interests me about women is not all all the same thing that interests me about men. I think that this is true for everybody, but that they can't bring themselves to admit it, this violates their theory that men and women are equal and they can't go there.

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@MontStMichel,

MontStMichel wrote:

I appreciate everyone's response and it's difficult to read if there is a general consensus, I would ask however, to keep away from personal attacks. This is an emotional issue that I am trying to figure out and seeking objective perspectives is helpful. Perhaps for me the biggest thing is that my wife doesn't admit, but then again maybe that will come in time and she's also dealing with it the best way she can, that she also wants her lesbian girlfriend. Maybe she's afraid I'll end our relationship, or hit on her girlfriend....it maybe a male fantasy to have two women, but emotionally I just don't want to go there. I am perhaps more jealous of the time and attention she spends with this other person. But then again, I could spend my time elsewhere as well...but then, what does that say about our relationship at the moment? Is that what I'm more fearful of addressing. I love my wife and believe she is my twin flame...so there is a lot of growth going on, not necessarily easy.

Not necessarily growth... Losing a relationship can drive you into yourself looking for something to hide behind only to find vulnerabilities... To live in love is to live without armor... So what??? I've lived most of my life with my guard up against people, and it was all for the thoughtless cruelty I suffered as a child... It may have destroyed my last chance at love in this life, with a fine woman, my wife... But now that I know, I refuse to go further in that fashion, I don't want to be afraid of my wife hurting me, and I will not be afraid of others hurting me... If I am cautious I will not be fearful... My guard is down...Hit me with your best shot... Let us see what I am made of...

1 Reply

@Fido,

Quote:

If I am cautious I will not be fearful... My guard is down...Hit me with your best shot... Let us see what I am made of...

in other words you opened yourself up to life...

Only the most alive people can do this, and I have found it surprising to me that a lot of these people have suffered deeply at some point in their lives. I catch hell for saying this in the childhood sexual abuse survivor community, but I have come to the conclusion that often abuse is nearly a blessing. The best amongst us have often been forged by abuse, it becomes the fuel that propels us to becoming fully awake, fully aware of our strength, and fully aware of what matters in this life.

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@hawkeye10,

hawkeye10 wrote:

I tend to have no interest in hanging out with women who are not erotically interesting.

For Hawkeye, "erotically interesting" = underage.

This is why he's always found at the skating rink.

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@DrewDad,

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@DrewDad,

hawkeye10 is a red neck who also likes to make it with farm animals which he also finds erotically interesting!

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@Fat Man 1951,

Do you know what you are, Fat Man?

You're a bully. You have taken on the very role of people you purport to fight against. It is hilariously ironic.

I suggest you review your behavior and contrast it to that you say you dislike.

Cycloptichorn

1 Reply

@Fat Man 1951,

I re invite you to participate in the thread subject matter. I guy is in pain here, your pissing around lacks respect. Perhaps you can't help it, maybe you are swamped by your emotions and have no control over yourself, but in the case of guys who piss themselves the standard advise is to get help.

1 Reply

@hawkeye10,

Ok, Mr Hawkeye10!!!

In an earlier post you said the following . . . . .

"I catch hell for saying this in the childhood sexual abuse survivor community, but I have come to the conclusion that often abuse is nearly a blessing."

SAY WHAT!!!

A blessing??? Are you shitting me???

In another topic titled "Do you know how to handle bullying?" you say that bullying is a good thing, like being bullied around in school is like some rite of passage.

Now you're saying that being sexually molested during childhood is a good thing???

You are one sick puppy!!!

Then you go on to say . . . . .

"The best amongst us have often been forged by abuse, it becomes the fuel that propels us to becoming fully awake, fully aware of our strength, and fully aware of what matters in this life."

Oh you got to be kidding!!!

Let me tell you something you low-life scum-bag bastard spawn or a sewer slug!

Back in 1969, when I was 17 years old, I was beaten and raped by an older man. After that I was in need of some kind of psychological counseling but non was forth coming, because back then, nobody believed that a guy could get raped.

So the shrinkos just prescribed tranquilizers and sent me home.

I have had to deal with the bad dreams and nightmares for years afterward.

In recent years, I found a decent therapist and I was diagnosed with PTSD, that is Post traumatic Stress Disorder.

No, it's no cake walk being a survivor of sexual abuse.

Some have committed suicide as a result of sexual abuse, and all survivors are affected in some ways for life.

No, don't try to tell me to "get over it" which is the standard response from right-wing morons like you.

Sorry Jimbo Bubbah Booey.

But bullying and sexual abuse are not good things! Not by any stretch of the imagination!

You are one sick puppy!!!

Now, go eat ****, and crawl into a sewer and DIE!!!

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@Cycloptichorn,

Quote:

Do you know what you are, Fat Man?

You're a bully. You have taken on the very role of people you purport to fight against. It is hilariously ironic.

I suggest you review your behavior and contrast it to that you say you dislike.
[End Quote]

Yeah! Well, I'm only dishing out what I have had to take for most of my life.

Tit for tat, and all that!

What goes around, comes around!

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Wife's intimacy with lesbian friend

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