How to get over a heartache

Yesterday I rearranged the furniture in my apartment; distract, prolong, show some signs of life.

How ya doin rex? coming up for air more?.
Pemersons idea about taking a course or like that is a great idea. You can pour your feelings into music, painting, pottery etc. ALSO, they offer some great art courses over at the MAchias Campus. Give it a try.

Now might be a good time to purge some stuff.

Grab a chair, a trash can and a box, Sit in front of that closet of stuff that you have been meaning to sort for years, or drawer of stuff, or garage of stuff...etc..

Sit, Stare, think , sort, throw out, scream, laugh, sit and stare some more.
It will give you something nit picky to do that will help in the long run, but will not require a lot of thought and no guilt if you dont finish it..

Thanks for the suggestions FM. I agree that now is a perfect time to get out and do something outgoing and productive with my life. Changes can come hard but nothing worthwhile comes easy. I am not ready to let go, I don't think I will ever be able to let go of this one.

If you are trying to cheer me up it is working Thanks

I may never be ready to let go, so, I guess I am just going to try and distract my attention elsewhere. Although I keep coming back to the sadness. I can't lose the hope that he will come back and finish what he started.

He knows how he made me fall in love with him, he did it on purpose and with skill. He avoided me so he would not have to give me back my spare apartment key. He knows I am well aware of that key and knows I have not asked for it back. The key is a symbol between us.

I just hope that in his own silence he is not hurting as bad as I am. I tend to think he is hurting and it is only a matter of time and he will be back. Perhaps I in some way like waiting on a man. Some men know how to tantalize so bad (good) that one never can forget their charm, then the passion always seems alive and intense. The chase can seem more exciting than the actual catch. Though I have my eye this time on the catch.

I really respect everyone's advice and I can't thank you enough shewolf and all of the other really considerate members here for caring and helping me to come to grips with this.

Love is like a storm that within the eye of the storm there is a shelter, a stillness and safety from the raging tempest of emotions.

I have always been a dreamer but I have lately been thinking about hope.

Often we hear of hopes and dreams as if they are not the same thing. I know I am prone to dreaming but lately I have found a refuge in hope.

When I lose this hope then I begin to face my fears and my dreams become nightmares.

I can't really say that every day gets better as I move away from all of this. It sometimes seems like it gets more dire, sad and desolate.

The things we do for love.

Still not fairing well with this heartache thing, yesterday I thought I was going to die again from it.

It has been several months since the break up but it seems to be getting worse not better.

Yesterday I felt like I was suffocating and started to cry again uncontrollably.

It comes on like a monsoon, lasts for hours, and leaves me feeling inexplicably abandoned.

Enough said, I don't want to bring it back on today...

Been taking an inventory of my life, though, I think I am biased and my opinions right now are unreliable.

Pick up your guitar


a pen


and paper

it doesnt have to rhyme. doesnt have to match. Doesnt have to fit a beat. Doesnt even have to sound good.

But give these emotions a place to go. In to the most chaotic, angry, happy roller coaster of a song you ever produced.
but give them a place to go so you can stop visiting them so often so harsh.

The last few days passed without incident but for some reason I went on a diet (or rather stopped gluttonously feeding myself).

I went on my starvation diet (that is what I call it) one meal a day. But I eat a good meal and snack a bit after. I wait almost all day before I eat.

Then if i want more I drink water or decaf coffee without cream or sugar. For some reason it has taken my mind off my troubles and I feel healthier. I have been tired allot but I think I am healing from being slightly overweight. I have at least thirty lbs I want to lose and this is the only diet that i know works. I think of it like going though a religious holiday and fasting, a cleansing of toxins and a renewal of life...

Thanks your suggestions are cheering me (hehe) and encouragement for a new song

I'm having another bad day today... Started crying when I woke up... been steady all day... My emotions are all over the place. I don't trust my feelings today. I am watching the movie "fireproof" and it is just a movie with a bunch of christian dogma being jammed down the viewers throats while these same people deny gays the right to marry. The director and writers of the movie expect the viewers to be sympathetic to heterosexual "christian" marriage on the rocks while gays (me) have been denied the right to be married to their soul mates. Inside it just triggers animosity in me.

Im nodding. Im shaking my head, and I am laughing at the same time

Im laughing because it is just so ridicilous , people telling others who they can and can not marry that I dont even see the anger in it. Those people just ...well.. I have a lot to say about that but that isnt the topic. I can never take any "message" like that seriously. Humans have no right to dictate that people can or can not marry based on sexual orientation. Period. Thats just stupid, immature control. Sadly, those idiots make it a reality.

Anyway.

And then I am nodding in agreement and understanding.

When i thought my heartache was something i was going to have to deal with for a long time, all I did was watch things that pissed me off. Movies that were TOO extreme no matter what. I listened to music that was super angry, watches shows that were corny in their acting and over the top with their love stories.
Everything was extreme.. and it gave me something to focus on. Somethign to do.

But, my heartache turned around. So now I feel like I shouldnt be telling you anything because circumstances have changed. In a very good way. So all I think to say is " Dont worry. he will come back too" .
Aint that a load of crap eh? If you could NOT worry, you would. If your lover would come back too, he would.. I hope?

How is that closet of stuff that you need to get done anyway? How is that coming along?? hmm?? *poke poke

How to get over a heartache:

remember and focus upon the negative words, deeds n idiosyncrasies of your lost lover.

Concerning the matter of marriage,
to reduce your misery,
consider the unpleasantnesses of marriage
that have led to so many divorces or murders.

I 'm very pleased -- thrilled -- that I am not married.
The road to divorce is paved with too many headaches, heartaches and unnecessary expenses.

I think my heartaches and dreams are too trampled on and far gone to ever be realized.

The birds are talking to me.

What did thay say ?

I tawt I taw a puddy tat..

LOL, hehe, the birds are talking to me, change and new love, passion on the horizon.

I think the trick is not to wallow in it. I know it is a habit to do but i think it is like staring at the thorn and pressing on it, only driving it in deeper, making the pain worse. Let me be the one to remove it and forget about it. Might sound callas but if you had a callas to begin with you would have never gotten the thorn in the first place. Life goes on, and you might be missing the next best thing if you are too busy wallowing in what you just lost. So rip the bandaid off, you'll heal in time but no need to cry over the wound.

I wonder if the birds that go wild every morning outside my window are expressing words, emotions or both. If they are expressing emotions then I think I know what they are feeling and saying.

Love is gonna run its course and my thoughts are that if you put allot into your love then you will hurt more when losing it and getting over it.

your situation reminds me of this tune, mr zevon seemed to know a thing or to about heartache and lonliness

The Indifference of Heaven
Warren Zevon

Time marches on
Time stands still
Time on my hands
Time to kill
Blood on my hands
And my hands in the till
Down at the 7-11
Gentle rain
Falls on me
All life folds back
Into the sea
We contemplate eternity
Beneath the vast indifference of heaven

The past seems realer than the present to me now
I've got memories to last me
When the sky is gray
The way it is today
I remember the times when I was happy

Same old sun
Same old moon
It's the same old story
Same old tune
They all say
Someday soon
My sins will all be forgiven
Gentle rain
Falls on me
All life folds back
Into the sea
We contemplate eternity
Beneath the vast indifference of heaven

They say "Everything's all right"
They say "Better days are near"
They tell us "These are the good times"
But they don't live around here
Billy and Christie don't--
Bruce and Patti don't--
They don't live around here

I had a girl
Now she's gone
She left town
Town burned down
Nothing left
But the sound
Of the front door closing forever

Gentle rain
Falls on me
All life folds back
Into the sea
We contemplate eternity
Beneath the vast indifference of heaven