Sorry to see you're still suffering through this, Col. I hate to use such a cliche, but it's true: this is bigger than the both of you! If she doesn't know what she wants but you do, then you have a disconnect of relationship goals that can not be reconciled. You gave it time. You're ready and she's not. Time for you to gather yourself and refocus on other important aspects of your life.
Perhaps you might benefit to understand what transitional relationships are about. A lot of what you mention happens in the transitional point in people's lives when they date after becoming a widow or divorced. You're going through some very different emotional stuff, too. A widow who is in emotional state that she's in is stuck in a different state than you are. You may think you are ready and you might be ready, but she just is NOT.
In another year, you'll have a different life with much different goals. You won't feel the same about this period in your life either.
I will repeat what I wrote to you back in May.
"Only you can decide what is right or what works. If you feel you're not where you want to be in this relationship, then you're the best judge of what to do and when."