I've seen even stranger ones, those Russians are CRAZY drivers.
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edgarblythe
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Tue 25 Feb, 2020 11:35 pm
Walking in the park the other day, we paused to toss cracked corn to ten ducks and a goose. A walking man was obliged to walk among the ducks as they were on the trail and he quailed in their midst, ducking the way I duck when threatened by a red wasp. He made it through and went on his way. We saw him again today. This time he carried a stick to protect himself from any duck foolish enough to attack. The first time I found it humorous to watch. The second time just made me sad.
These birds are spoiled little moochers who only act aggressively among themselves during mating season. The lone goose has been there a long while and has always been docile.
Male geese, ganders, can be real buttheads. But ducks? They're about as dangerous as kittens.
The goose I wrote about is fun and eats our cracked corn, then goes about her business. A few days ago, two new geese came to the lake. They come to us for the corn also. Each is twice the size of the first goose. So far they are not troublesome, but once they get comfortable I suspect they will be pretty demanding.
An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.
'Fred,' he replies.
'Fred what?' the officer asks.
'Just Fred,' the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it.
The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?'
The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.
Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD. Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.'
The officer walked away in tears, laughing
Store shelves may not be flush with the two-ply right now, exactly — but police warned that, whatever folks may think, they cannot assist with this particular need. Instead, they helpfully offered some alternatives gleaned from the annals of human history — improvised instruments such as dried corn cobs and pages torn from old magazines.
"Seamen used old rope and anchor lines soaked in salt water. Ancient Romans used a sea sponge on a stick, also soaked in salt water," they suggested. "We are a coastal town. We have an abundance of salt water available. Sea shells were also used."
