Kyle Lee
KyleLeeWriter
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I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts.
It's called: "Leave me the fuh cologne."
MARTHA ACUÑA
MARCIAN2003
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Sooo, my bitch ass neighbor called the police cuz I was smoking on the balcony. The police get here and ask where the weed at, I said I smoked it all.
They said where'd you buy it? I said from the neighbor, now they at his house looking searching his **** 😮💨😮💨😬
Traces of Texas
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After having dug to a depth of 100 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, a Pennsylvania archaeologist dug to a depth of 200 feet and, shortly after, a story in the Wall Street Journal read: "Pennsylvania archaeologists discovered a 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network one hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers."
A week later, a local newspaper in Texas reported the following:
"Self-taught archaeologist Jimmy Wayne Bubba read the articles about New York and Pennsylvania and decided to do some research in his own pasture near Lubbock. He got a back hoe and a front-end loader he went to work, digging as deep as 300 feet. Jimmy Wayne reports that he found absolutely no signs of wire and has therefore concluded that 300 years ago Texas had already gone wireless."
Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet. Kid: But I don't have other feet! Me: Okay, that makes sense.
They should make Popeye the Pope. For short he could be known as Popeeye.
David Bowie often told the story about the joke he stole from John and played on his fans.
Bowie explains that he was vacationing with John in Hong Kong when a young boy runs up to John and asks, “Are you John Lennon?’ And he said, ‘No but I wish I had his money.’ Which I promptly stole for myself. [imitating a fan] ‘Are you David Bowie?’ No, but I wish I had his money. It’s brilliant. The kid said, ‘Oh, sorry. Of course, you aren’t,’ and ran off. I thought, ‘This is the most effective device I’ve heard.”
Bowie used this technique throughout his life. He explains what happened a few months later:
“I was in New York and a voice pipes up in my ear, ‘Are you David Bowie?’ And I said, ‘No, but I wish I had his money.’
“’You lying bastard. You wish you had my money.’
It was John Lennon.”
Did you know?
Before water was invented people carried their boats around.
Ask Tomball
Sweet Harm · 26m ·
An individual in Texas was bitten by black widow spiders after attempting to steal a package off a woman's porch. The package was deliberately filled with spiders by the woman, who was tired of repeated package thefts. Upon opening the package in his car, the man was bitten multiple times, leading to significant swelling and nausea, and required hospitalization. He subsequently contacted the police, intending to file assault charges against the woman. When questioned by police, the woman stated the spiders were her pets and she was concerned they were missing. She then stated she wished to file charges against the man for killing her spiders, which he did when he was bitten.
Pirates were not known to speak like pirates before Robert Newton as Long John Silver taught them how.
@edgarblythe,
It's a bastardised westcountry accent. A lot of sailors being from Plymouth and Bristol.
